I’m tired

The chronic nature of this stupid disorder may be less a trial then the will to maintain treatment. I’m tired of being this someone else, this person void of the joy that defines my favourite memories. I’m tired of the slog of forward momentum, getting through another day, then another. Believing that the dreams of others will bring me peace. I’m tired of that pain in my soul that is a true battle between life and death, where life is the numb side effect and death is void. I think I’m over complicating my life...or is it the way it has to be? I’m tired. How do you stop being so tired?

On difficult days, I’ve felt tired too.

Meds can and do affect our mood, our energy level. Environmental situations sometimes are toxic for us. I’ve had all these things affect me at different times in my life. Can you give an example of a situation in which you feel this way? And the manner it has you viewing life this way you explain in your post. This illness is not easy, and that is an understatement. (sometimes throughout our lives; to me it has felt/been this way).

How are you feeling these days?

I have Bipolar I and ADD as well. Just sharing that which we have in common.

I’ve been without meds for a year and a half now and let me tell you, I’d trade shoes with you any day.
Since December 26th, I have a DUI, a speeding and no insurance ticket, and a driving on a suspended ticket pending, I’m broke, got in an argument with my fiancé, flipped a bunch of furniture over and took off in my truck for over a week, losing a great career opportunity, my truck is stuck in California, I can’t drive, there are no jobs out here in FarmVille, and I’m flat broke. I have no health insurance and can not afford to see a psychiatrist or pay for meds.

Hypomania is a blast isn’t it!

-bi polar 1 + anxiety disorder

I hope you feel better... I’d give you some of my energy if I could.

Best Regards,

Earle

There are a couple reasons your bipolar might be chronic. One is use of stimulants or SSRI’s. These two drug classes cause and worsen mania/bipolar. Many people initial are prescribed these medications and later the drugs give them biopolar.
Bipolar medications such as antipsychotics, lithium and depakote are the primary standard treatment. You should be informed of the data on these drugs. Short term studies find that these drugs give 1 in 6 people who take them a reduction in manic symptoms. There however are two problems with these studies. One they measure short term outcomes. Two they rely on methods that essentially put the placebo group in drug withdrawal. It’s not a valid comparison if one group is going through withdrawal. The long term outcomes find that these medications result in worse mental health and symptoms. For example one outcome measure finds these drugs nearly double your chance of becoming disabled. People who never take drugs have less hospitalizations, mania, depression and no side effects from the drugs.
The only evidence for taking these drugs is short term benefits for 1 in 6 people and withdrawal studies that find withdraw from these drugs is horrible. These are the same arguments alcoholics use to keep drinking. “The beer temporary reduces my anxiety.” “When I stop drinking I feel sick and crappy.” Drug withdrawal isn’t a sign you should take the drugs. It is in fact a result of taking the drugs. The chronic nature of bipolar is due to the medications.

-- Sun Mar 15, 2020 6:50 am --

There are a couple reasons your bipolar might be chronic. One is use of stimulants or SSRI’s. These two drug classes cause and worsen mania/bipolar. Many people initial are prescribed these medications and later the drugs give them biopolar.
Bipolar medications such as antipsychotics, lithium and depakote are the primary standard treatment. You should be informed of the data on these drugs. Short term studies find that these drugs give 1 in 6 people who take them a reduction in manic symptoms. There however are two problems with these studies. One they measure short term outcomes. Two they rely on methods that essentially put the placebo group in drug withdrawal. It’s not a valid comparison if one group is going through withdrawal. The long term outcomes find that these medications result in worse mental health and symptoms. For example one outcome measure finds these drugs nearly double your chance of becoming disabled. People who never take drugs have less hospitalizations, mania, depression and no side effects from the drugs.
The only evidence for taking these drugs is short term benefits for 1 in 6 people and withdrawal studies that find withdraw from these drugs is horrible. These are the same arguments alcoholics use to keep drinking. “The beer temporary reduces my anxiety.” “When I stop drinking I feel sick and crappy.” Drug withdrawal isn’t a sign you should take the drugs. It is in fact a result of taking the drugs. The chronic nature of bipolar is due to the medications.

I'm tired too. I think a big part of being bipolar is sometimes self-illusion. It can get extremely bad and then get better, suddenly after months of despair some random day you wake up feeling better, then I think, at least in my experience, I have been repeating this illusion for myself that well, now I'll be better. Truth is, I'm really tired of this. I fully comprehend why so many bipolars commit suicide, it's way too tiresome. Sometimes I wish I'd be depressed until the day I die, or psychotic, doesn't matter; I just wish I had some stability.