Valproate has been my bedrock treatment for years because of Lithium side-effects. At it's worst it takes the edge off of mania, so that I can at least recognise it in myself more (all that CBT helps too at these times); at it's best it is completely stable...at my baseline - melancholy. So needs an adjunct to deal with other symptoms. I did try some antipsychotics before antidepressants but they gave me tremors that affected my work, and paradoxically at least one gave me agitation. It's been hard to find an effective antidepressant because my psychotic features weren't being addressed - mainly paranoia, which is easier to manage depressed than manic

. So I finally found a combination that has completely dulled my mind, now I go through life as a zombie to protect the people I love. What choice?
I haven't given up though, I need to find the balance where I can still have my mind.