So my therapist told me she thinks I have Bipolar II (she started saying this about 6 or 7 months ago). I think it's a misdiagnosis but the past couple of days had me really thinking. Yesterday I woke up from 6 hrs of sleep and felt so good (woke up at 5 am). I felt wide awake which never ever happens. My mood was really good because I felt wide awake and felt really good about how I looked. I have really low self-esteem and I don't like anything about my appearance but I was just so obsessed with my looks yesterday. I kept staring at myself in the mirror and taking photos and I thought I looked so beautiful and I felt confident. It was funny because I kept thinking "omg I look so hot." and when I went out, I acted super confident when I was walking.
Later on that day I went to hang out with a couple of friends. We spent all night together but right before I was going to go to bed, my friend said "you're acting really different" and I asked her why she thinks that and she told me "you're just being really talkative" and as soon as she said that I started over-analyzing my behaviors throughout the day. I haven't thought about this supposed diagnosis in a couple of months and as soon as she said it I thought about it. There are times where I get these late night "highs" where I feel really giddy but I think it's because I'm just overtired. Then I stayed up until 5 am which means I was awake for 24 hrs and I literally felt like my brain was awake but my body was exhausted. I just didn't feel like going to sleep and I wanted to elongate my day. I took melatonin (because I started feeling really anxious and wanted it to stop) and woke up 6 hrs later.
There was nothing significant about my mood until after I got back from lunch. I've never understood what racing thoughts are but I think I might have had them. I had several songs overlapping in my head and I had just random events and flashbacks. There was even a thought of me thinking about the word "ain't" it was weird. Then I felt like I was going in slow motion. I started thinking about all the things I have to do in the next few weeks and I got really sad and just stayed in bed for hours (I'm currently still in bed). I even took a depression nap and I just woke and and I kinda feel numb almost. Like I don't really feel anything. I don't know what any of this could mean or if I'm just having a weird weekend. It's not like I haven't ever experienced these types of things at all but I don't really look too much into it but now I am because a friend pointed out that I was being weird. Does anyone have any advice or comments about this? I'm just confused I guess. Should I look more into this? Does anyone with bipolar II or who experiences hypomania experience similar things? what do your episodes feel like? can you have some symptoms and not others? I feel with this disorder, things don't change this quickly and there's usually periods of days of something or a pattern so I keep thinking it could be regular behavior but I'm not sure.
Note: I am not looking for someone to tell me if I have bp or not because as you can tell, I am already talking to a professional who thinks I have bipolar II. I just want to see if others are experiencing similar things and how to differentiate between what you feel is or isn't regular behavior or when to take notice of something odd.