Hi / Short intro / thanks / couple questions

Hello everybody,

First let me know Im thankful for this and the Psych forums in general; seems to be a lot of info here.

About me:
Im in my end 20s, live in Europe (GE); my mother is bipolar II and my father probably bipolar too, I know he had phases of psychosis and depression which he drowned in alcohol.
My mother has been diagnosed only recently, after 15 years of struggle.

3 years ago I had my first crisis, a very hyperactive phase, sleepless nights, ending by psychosis (delusions mostly, no hallucinations).
I was interned a few months as this hyper phase turned into a heavy depression.
5 months later I restarted work and slowly things built up back to normal, but I didnt get a clear diagnosis, only depression

Early this year, you guess it, I had another hyper phase. And amils pdychosis that lasted a few hours. Then a depression, with suicide thoughts.

Now Im feeling much better (too good Im afraid ? a bit less sleep, too many projects, strong need to talk... but still in control I believe).
Now finally it is quite clear I am bipolar, probably type I, precise diagnose will follow soon. Its a rough call but in a way I feel I can look forward and adress it more precisely.
My meds are not fully adjusted yet though, this is what I take:

-Quetiapin 100mg + 300mg delayed release
-Mornings Sertraline (=Zyprexa ?), was reduced to 75mg, which still might be too much I feel
-I have on a 'on-need' basis also Tavor, Olanzapin, and a few 'natural' helpers like Neurexan, Lasea if any of you know.
-Hugging the cat (not prescribed, not reimbursed, but really potent)

Any experiences with this/quetiapin ? I heard its mostly for acute treatment and might not be OK long term.
For sure it helps me sleep at night.

I might have additinally anxiety issues (since Im a child, often shaking, tinnitus etc.);
Anybody has similar issues / tips for me ?

I now restart a CBT, and try to keep relaxed (PMR) etc, structure my days etc.

Another question: any of you had experience with Hypnose therapy to relieve some issues ?

I thank you all for any help / tips and wish you all the best in your journey through life and its obstacles.

Hello, your story sounds fairly typical. I do see 3 antipsychotics and no mood stabilizers on your drug list. Personally I have had good luck with lithium: less amplitude in mood fluctuations: almost no depression and a little hypomania. I've also heard Lamictal is good. The antipsychotics have different ratings and different side effects for many people.

I would just try to stay positive. It's an adventure and try not to worry about it. With the right meds you can live a fairly normal life. Therapy helps some people too.

z7z wrote:Hello, your story sounds fairly typical. I do see 3 antipsychotics and no mood stabilizers on your drug list. Personally I have had good luck with lithium: less amplitude in mood fluctuations: almost no depression and a little hypomania. I've also heard Lamictal is good. The antipsychotics have different ratings and different side effects for many people.

I would just try to stay positive. It's an adventure and try not to worry about it. With the right meds you can live a fairly normal life. Therapy helps some people too.

Hello z7z. Thank you so much for your message and these informations and your positive 'vibes'.

Yes I try to stay positive. I see my psychiatrist in 2 weeks, hope by then she gives me more precise and definite diagnosis- BPD 1 probably, perhaps some anxiety disorder which I had my whole life basically but never diagnosed (the shaking the tinnitis).

Ill definitely push for some mood stabilizer, and a decrease of the anti-depressant which do scare me a little and make me hyper. Hopefully I hold on 2 weeks. In the meantime Ill try researching these mood stabilizers.

All the best to you and thanks again

I've taken Quetiapine before, but only when I was first hospitalized, when I was psychotic and also took Abilify then too, at the same time. It was temporary back then. More recently I took small dosages of 25mg, 50mg, and even 100mg to help me sleep and that worked really good, too good because it felt like I was so tired the next day all day long. So eventually I had to stop taking it. I've read that in larger dosages it's can be very effective. There are drawbacks I've read other members share like weight gain, but to be honest, I think all antipsychotic make you gain weight. Not a good thing about this type of drug--antipsychotic, but sometimes like for me, I aboslutely have to have it. I've tried being without it, didn't work. It can also cause tardive dyskinesia as one of my good friends did get this particular side effect. I didn't get this, but it is a "possible" side effect just like all the other side effects listed. Do I recommend it? I leave that to you and your doctor. I won't take it unless nothing else worked for me. I didn't like that it left me feeling groggy all day long, so I asked the pdoc to give me something else to take to help me sleep, because sleep meds (prescription meds) weren't working for me at that time. Here's an article I liked.

https://www.webmd.com/drugs/2/drug-4718 ... al/details

quietgirl2538 wrote:...

Thank you so much for this feedback quietgirl !! very helpful !

Will talk with doc.

As to my feedback to them:
-Those 100 mg Quetiapin evenings are just a blessing.. I take them ~8:30pm and they kick in 9:30-10:00, depends on the day.. but when it kicks in boy does that feel good after an intense day.. I can then barely walk (!) but my mind's leaving me alone.
-Weight gain Ive not observed now, I track it
-Long term, Ill discuss with doc, shes aware its a bit too much
-I dont feel tired during the day from the 300mg.. did the first two weeks I think.. not anymore.. dont know how to feel about that anyhow I guess their half life is so that by morning the effect decreases (result: at 5 Im up and ready to save the world.. )
-Hope I dont get addicted to these babies too much
-Abilify one doc suggested me too as complement, said he had great results with (while he was happily and proudly talking to me with all his assistants, all his trainees and interns looking fascinated and scared - didnt know why at the time).; talked with my docs about Abilify, she said 'hmm... its a taste thing' some like that. Surely didnt sound like her taste. Lets see next week

And... I certainly dont want to have another psychosis, god knows what happens next time.. was lucky to survive it, did some weird stuff, viusited some very very strange places of yesterday and tomorrow.. body and mind absolutely.. nonsensical.. not agressive/dangerous but just so.. random

Won't give more details, hope its OK to share that, if not, sorry, feel free to remove it.

Thanks for - how do you say - coping? endulging ?

Cheers Bernie

2 posts in a row.. I feel its a different sub-topic, which summarizes my day:

-Big conflict with boss-- big loud older dud big manager with no clue- Triggered my first big crisis by squeezing the brainjuices out of me.

-Still, Im going to bring him down I swear, or worst case, go away not silently. Another colleague/friend got sick, not bipolar but a epileptic crisis caused by stress. Also will be on meds rest of his life.
Anyway... there's a McDonalds here, bet they look for somebody for the pddies.. heard you get good benefits (can make Big Macs with extra pickles or tomatoes etc.).

-Followed a conferenc at work but was still high from talk with big hedgy boss

-Mowed lawn, opened my packages... man you got to check this:



Its about half what I bought the last 2 weeks. The post office has also 2 packages + 2 are on the way.

One of my docs said: better than a Jaguar (she was serious, she had that)
Jaguar's like 50-80 000 dollars. Thats like 8000 books I counted; Im behind.

Honestly, I know its not fully right but books are also affordable, it doesnt endanger my financial safety at all.

And my recent best friend - when I feel lonely and the cats outside... you can set up nice morning or evening routine, with chosen music, poetry, news weather forecast or whatever



Now Im gone, sorry Im like this - peace

Now Im gone, sorry Im like this - peace

I'm like this too. Except I buy the kindle versions because they're cheaper and then if I really like the book, I buy it paperback too. I have one book where I forgot I had 2 copies of it already. I have 4 now!

I have the top one, the light greenish one, Bipolar Survival Guide. That's a good read. The other ones, I don't know the titles.

I'm so jealous! I want more books but can't afford all the ones I want just yet.

How is it with the boss?

quietgirl2538 wrote:

Now Im gone, sorry Im like this - peace

I'm like this too. Except I buy the kindle versions because they're cheaper and then if I really like the book, I buy it paperback too. I have one book where I forgot I had 2 copies of it already. I have 4 now!

Gee, yeah time 4 didnt happen but times 2 + ebook version did happen a couple time. Many of those I do hve already as ebooks too yeah... but wouldnt calll that a waste, when a book stands in the library it is like "place holder" or "reminder".

quietgirl2538 wrote:How is it with the boss?

Hm I guess I tell you tomorrow. But was very upset and angry the whole WE, been trying to reach doc too on the phone to know what to do - dont want to explode at work tomorrow or lose my $#%^ there.

Should be OK though - lets see ? Thanks for asking

Hope things are ok with your boss...

Share some of your favorite books you just purchased with the titles. I can look them up.

quietgirl2538 wrote:Share some of your favorite books you just purchased with the titles. I can look them up.

Sure;
-"The Untethered Self - definitely a highlight, soothing, an exploration of the soul
-The Power of Now (Eckhardt) - probably you know iot - as Audiobook even better, he has such a peaceful voice
-Sleep smarter - 21 Strategies

More philosophical:
-Robert Pirsig, Zen and the Art of motorcycle Maintenance (he went though also psychiatric care/psychosis etc.)
-Josh Waitzkin - The Art of Learning
-Nietzsche - Collected Works or "Thus Spoke Zarathustra"
-Works from Abraham Maslow, on self actualization etc. of "Psychology of Being"
-If you can handle his darkness (depends on the moment), works of Arthur Schopenhauer
-The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
-Napoleon Hill (more of a success psychology+ social skills)

-Edgar Allan Poe, Victor Hugo (poems), Hemingway, Paolo Coelho - The Alchemist (excellent and easy to read)

What came to me now. Pick one that suits your mood or could help you. The Untethered Self would be good for all moods.

I havent searched deeply I admit, is there a thread with "Helpful quotes".
I have a collection and they help me