Need advice, bp girlfriend

Hi

I'm new to this forum and I'm hoping that someone can relate.

I'm in a relationship since 6 months with my girlfriend 29yrs old who is diagnosed with BP type I. It was all going well and we talked for hours everyday until 4 weeks ago. She suddenly changed her behaviour, we still talked, but she did'nt want to share things about whats going on in her life anymore. When I asked her what's going on in her life, she always replied, I don't want to talk about it now.

She suddenly took a joboffer in another town 2,5h drive and started living at her parents. She only told me about this once she moved.

Then she started ignoring my phonecalls and only texted me, when she needed something. I did'nt make things better by ignoring her back because I got angry. We had'nt talked or texted for 2 weeks until last friday, when I called her up and when she did'nt answer sent her a text saying we need to talk.

She called me back short after and I told her that what we have is not a relationship and I want to end it. She answered be saying that I have never asked her why she is acting like this, and aking me if I'm leaving her because she is feeling ill. She ends the conversation by saying she has to get back to work and that she'll get back to me on the phone later that evening and that she'll maybe visit me on tuesday.

I did'nt hear anthing from her (she was active on social media, during those days) so I texted her on wednesday saying I'm since she has not contacted me I'm ending our realtionship and I want my belongings back (mostly clothes and some money, total worth 1500$).

She texted med back saying let's meet up and talk instead and that she wants to talk to me in person. She tells me that friday is the best day for her and we agree on meeting up on friday. She she she will drive down to the town I'm living in.

Later that day she send me a text saying she is in the hospital and that she would like me to call her. I call her up and her phone is turned of.

On thursday she calls me and we talk for a minute and asked me to call her back when I get back home. I Call her back and her phone is turned off.

Yesterday (the day we decided to meet) she sends me at text saying she has a jobmeeting later in the afternoon and that she will try her best to make it. When I offer to come to her insted, she says she can't meet up today (friday) and that she will drive to my town early next week.

I replied by saying don't bother, just send me my stuff and she refuses to do so. Texting me, saying "you can't do this, you have to listen to what I have to say"
I tried asking her what she wants from me, but she just ignores the question.


I'm so confused, I don't know what to do. She avoids meeting me even though she is initiating it, but she does'nt let me end the realtionship. What should i do?What does she want from me? Has anyone been in a similar situation or has any advice?

Vorfreude wrote:Hi
I'm so confused, I don't know what to do. She avoids meeting me even though she is initiating it, but she does'nt let me end the realtionship. What should i do?What does she want from me? Has anyone been in a similar situation or has any advice?

Hey Vorfreude.

Sorry you're going through this. I know its hard to understand.

Im going to ask you one favour though, girlfriend or no girlfriend, either you like her or or you dont anymore: please, be gentle with her.
My advice dont mention your stuff for now please, gee send me the bill if you want.

-Be gentle.
-Tell her she can talk to you about anything
-Tell her you wont judge, and that she has to believe you talking will help
-When shes in her high phases, she has no clue what shes doing and can be very selfish. Its also a suffering, at least for me, no sleeping, your mind just wont leave you alone and the little devil in your head wants more more more..
-When she's in a low phase: well, without a lot of case and competent and doctors, she might end her life.

Not everybody has the chance to save somebody's life. Go ahead and do it. My girlfriend did it twice, Im forever thankful and will bring down the moon for her (hugh).

Good luck to you, any questions just go ahead

What advice are you seeking? What do you want out of this?
Do you want her to disappear out of your life but get your belongs back?
Do you want to repair the relationship with her emotionally?
Do you want to have a physical relationship but have had enough of the emotional stuff?

I think this is a story that many can identify with.

Read this reply and filter out what is of value to you. Discard the rest.
I wish love was easy. Maybe love being difficult is what makes it so valuable.

I've been there. It is horrible, painful, disconcerting, anger inducing, frustrating, sad, lonely and generally not nice. It is also the story of life.

While I learned long ago that a relationship takes two to succeed. Relationships can only be as close as the individual who wants the most space can tolerate. If I want closeness and push hard, it will only push the other away.

It gets really complicated when one person has mental illness. But I believe the essentials remain the same.

She is 2.5 hours away. Give her space. Focus on building a healthy life yourself. Knocking on a door that is closed is good, but one must get the message if the door is not opened. Screaming, yelling, crying will not help if the door remains closed. There is a real challenge if you are knocking on the door because you can see the house is on fire. What you are doing is really in the person's best interest. In that case, call the fire department. There are others who can help if the person inside doesn't want your help.

So easy for me to say this.
I've knocked on the door until my fingers bled. I've screamed yelled and cried until the person inside called the police (Not really, but just about)

She is living at home with her parents. We have to assume she is safe and monitored. You don't need to save her. Of course if she is locked in the basement and her parents only let an exorcist visit her, there is a problem. If she doesn't want your help, it is not your problem.

Life has lessons. You are getting one now. Horrible, isn't it!!!

Take care,
Skilsaw.

-- Sat Oct 27, 2018 6:07 pm --

Skilsaw, you are truly brilliant.
You should start your own Youtube Channel.
I bet you would be invited on "Ellen" or "Dr. Phil" because your advice is totally right on.
Keep it up, guy.

You rock in so many ways.
Skil.

If Nobody will pat your back, then pat your own!!@!

Groovy.