How to control your life & not let your emotions control it

I was curious about methods people use to control their lives, instead of letting their emotions and moods control it. Also how did you learn to do this? Thanks in advance.

SelfCareIsNotSelfish wrote:I was curious about methods people use to control their lives, instead of letting their emotions and moods control it. Also how did you learn to do this? Thanks in advance.

I put a lot of emphasis on getting a support system, for example I have the psychiatrist, therapist (if you have one), my husband especially, my kids, my couple of friends who I can turn to at any time of the day, I even go so far as to keep the suicide hotline on my contact lists. I label it "hotline" so other people can't read it. I don't like to explain why I would have the suicide hotline on my phone contacts.

I have an evening routine where I stop activity at about 9pm or 10pm and then I drift off to sleep at the same time or about the same time every day. I will take a sleep aid to help me sleep. Sleep is very important. I stick around the house when I don't feel well as in depression and I listen to other's words when I might be manic and don't notice it.

I learned how to do this the hard way. I got hospitalized 3 times because I was suicidal and I could have possibly prevented the hospitalization, and taken medication earlier to not have allowed it to get that bad. I was very alone because I didn't tell anyone about my suffering when I was so depressed. I played the part of being fine and I wasn't. I don't tell others I'm depressed I just isolate myself and hope and wait it out at home until I get better. That sometimes, in the past, has been up to 2 months before I decided enough was enough, and I told my pdoc. I have a therapist whom I see every 3 months to keep updated with her. My moods can and have fluctuated and she is someone I trust with my suffering and struggle. So, I do have someone whom I can talk to. I don't feel alone when I take care of myself.

I would recommend stoicism and some meditation. It seriously helps. Though when I started applying stoicism it did lead to my first serious manic episode. But it was very good at helping my anger, fear, anxiety...etc

CopyCat27 wrote:I would recommend stoicism and some meditation. It seriously helps. Though when I started applying stoicism it did lead to my first serious manic episode. But it was very good at helping my anger, fear, anxiety...etc

What is stoicism, and where can I read more about it?
I sometimes do meditation and it does help, I agree.
Yikes! You had a manic episode from stoicism? That's one thing I worry about--getting too involved/obsessed with spiritual stuff. But if I can figure out how to do it in a balanced way, I'm all in.

I

put a lot of emphasis on getting a support system, for example I have the psychiatrist, therapist (if you have one), my husband especially, my kids, my couple of friends who I can turn to at any time of the day, I even go so far as to keep the suicide hotline on my contact lists. I label it "hotline" so other people can't read it. I don't like to explain why I would have the suicide hotline on my phone contacts.

I've heard this before about the importance of a support system. I'm not sure I feel comfortable telling more than a couple of friends about BP2.

I have an evening routine where I stop activity at about 9pm or 10pm and then I drift off to sleep at the same time or about the same time every day. I will take a sleep aid to help me sleep. Sleep is very important. I stick around the house when I don't feel well as in depression and I listen to other's words when I might be manic and don't notice it.

That's a great idea. I am still trying to explain this to my husband, but I'm not sure he is getting how important sleep is for me. I started taking melatonin and although that helps me sleep, I've had a number of strange dreams.

I

learned how to do this the hard way. I got hospitalized 3 times because I was suicidal and I could have possibly prevented the hospitalization, and taken medication earlier to not have allowed it to get that bad. I was very alone because I didn't tell anyone about my suffering when I was so depressed. I played the part of being fine and I wasn't. I don't tell others I'm depressed I just isolate myself and hope and wait it out at home until I get better. That sometimes, in the past, has been up to 2 months before I decided enough was enough, and I told my pdoc. I have a therapist whom I see every 3 months to keep updated with her. My moods can and have fluctuated and she is someone I trust with my suffering and struggle. So, I do have someone whom I can talk to. I don't feel alone when I take care of myself.

I get it. I was also in the habit of denying that I was depressed. I'm so clueless sometimes about how I'm feeling, because I was taught from an early age to stuff down my feelings and pretend everything is fine. I no longer play the facade anymore, but it's still tough for me to have the self awareness of how I'm doing. I've been depressed for so long, that it's sort of become my norm. I don't like telling others I'm depressed because I've lost friends from doing so.

SelfCareIsNotSelfish wrote:

CopyCat27 wrote:I would recommend stoicism and some meditation. It seriously helps. Though when I started applying stoicism it did lead to my first serious manic episode. But it was very good at helping my anger, fear, anxiety...etc

What is stoicism, and where can I read more about it?
I sometimes do meditation and it does help, I agree.
Yikes! You had a manic episode from stoicism? That's one thing I worry about--getting too involved/obsessed with spiritual stuff. But if I can figure out how to do it in a balanced way, I'm all in.

Haha, in all fairness it was at a time when I knew nothing about bipolar. It helped a lot with disordered thinking which I thought was odd but turns out is caused by bipolar depression. Emotional regulation and really taking charge of your life.

Stoicism is an ancient Greek philosophy that centres on the concept of being free from passions. It's not about repression but reacting to things in a calm and collected way. No outburst no fear nothing out of control. The best example given of this is how epictetus was cast on a desert island. A stoic would just do the best he can to find a solution to the problem in a pragmatic way without thinking about the negativity of the situation or cursing the heavens for what happened. It is what it is. If you can do something about it do it, if not then why complain.

Now I'm saying it helped me. Especially controlling my thoughts which always deviate towards negative things in the past. I'm not suggesting you live by it. But it wouldn't be harmful if you read meditations by Marcus aurelius. To sum it up it's like mindfulness and CBT put together in one.

The problem with stoicism is like you said. The susceptibility to religious heightened experiences. It focuses on becoming a perfected human. I sort of derailed with this to become a person who is favoured by the God's. Felt like I could do anything. Which is of course manic psychosis.

Haha, in all fairness it was at a time when I knew nothing about bipolar. It helped a lot with disordered thinking which I thought was odd but turns out is caused by bipolar depression. Emotional regulation and really taking charge of your life.

Disordered thinking is caused by bipolar depression?? Can you explain this more? What exactly is disordered thinking, and does it occur in unipolar depression? This is all new to me but I was told I have "bipolar depression".

Stoicism is an ancient Greek philosophy that centres on the concept of being free from passions. It's not about repression but reacting to things in a calm and collected way. No outburst no fear nothing out of control. The best example given of this is how epictetus was cast on a desert island. A stoic would just do the best he can to find a solution to the problem in a pragmatic way without thinking about the negativity of the situation or cursing the heavens for what happened. It is what it is. If you can do something about it do it, if not then why complain.

That is fascinating. It sounds similar to Buddhism/Zen but I'm sure there are differences. How great this is for someone like us with heightened emotions. I will try to google it and read about it some more.

Now I'm saying it helped me. Especially controlling my thoughts which always deviate towards negative things in the past. I'm not suggesting you live by it. But it wouldn't be harmful if you read meditations by Marcus aurelius. To sum it up it's like mindfulness and CBT put together in one.

That sounds really cool. My thoughts used to always deviate toward the negative. I did some work and now it's not as bad, but it's still got more chipping away to be done. I will look up Marcus Auerelius. I try to do Mindfulness and CBT, too, although it's not exactly very structured. I'm hoping once I am more stable on my meds, that I can really dig into mindfulness and CBT more than I'd been able to.

The problem with stoicism is like you said. The susceptibility to religious heightened experiences. It focuses on becoming a perfected human. I sort of derailed with this to become a person who is favoured by the God's. Felt like I could do anything. Which is of course manic psychosis.

I'm really glad you brought this up. Over the past year, I changed religions. It's a long story. But I am seriously wondering if it was some sort of hypomania thing. I'm looking back on it and thinking "Oh my gosh what was that all about". On the Lamictal, I truly feel like I am much more "myself". It's hard to explain. But I could totally see myself getting too absorbed in a religious or spiritual practice, so I need to be careful. Is that a common phenomenon with people with BP? I've done it with certain diets, too.

I didn't get to the level that you did, but it is rather uncomfortable to look back on in hindsight. That's cool you were aware of what happened to you.

Tell me more about "the susceptibility to religious heightened experiences". I'm finding this information about BP/BP2 to be very interesting. It's so different than depression/anxiety.

Hmmmm... what I referred to as disordered thinking is mainly intense and repetitive ruminations. This is what I usually experience when depressed.

As for the religious experiences I remember a s3verely out of control bipolar guy I met in the psych ward. He was a seventh day Adventist and was OBSSESSED by religion. He would shout at the top of his lungs "Jesus is the son of God. Muslims are dogs, Hindus are rats and Buddhists are snakes!" Over and over and over again. His mad ravings kept us all awake and of course it started again in the mornings too.

It's very common for bipolar people to have intense religious experiences during mania. Lots of bipolar people think they are Jesus, a prophet, God...etc. They experiences some sort of spiritual journey of sorts. Mine wasn't that serious because I was still composed. I knew who I was and what I was doing and didn't completely go down the rabbit hole. But as I said I felt strongly like the God's favoured me in some way and that I was living a great adventure something like Odysseus if that helps describe it.

But I would never tell people that I was something special. I once told a girl I sometimes go into "God mode". But that's about it.

Now this is nothing compared to schizophrenics. Those guys can become seriously deluded especially if schizoaffective.

Hope that answers everything

CopyCat27 wrote:Hmmmm... what I referred to as disordered thinking is mainly intense and repetitive ruminations. This is what I usually experience when depressed.

Thanks for clarifying that. That's interesting. Sometimes when I'm depressed, my mind chatter gets stuck on something like a record that is skipping. I did communicate that with my therapist.

As for the religious experiences I remember a s3verely out of control bipolar guy I met in the psych ward. He was a seventh day Adventist and was OBSSESSED by religion. He would shout at the top of his lungs "Jesus is the son of God. Muslims are dogs, Hindus are rats and Buddhists are snakes!" Over and over and over again. His mad ravings kept us all awake and of course it started again in the mornings too.

That level of religious following is scary to me. I have a relative and her child who are like this. Their entire life revolves around religion. It's difficult to have a conversation with them. They also push their religion onto others and believe they are right, and everyone else is wrong. Interestingly enough, they've changed what they follow, yet they are still always right. It's very cultish. I hope this man got the help he needed.

It's very common for bipolar people to have intense religious experiences during mania. Lots of bipolar people think they are Jesus, a prophet, God...etc. They experiences some sort of spiritual journey of sorts. Mine wasn't that serious because I was still composed. I knew who I was and what I was doing and didn't completely go down the rabbit hole. But as I said I felt strongly like the God's favoured me in some way and that I was living a great adventure something like Odysseus if that helps describe it.

This is fascinating, actually. I am in an AA group that is very God-centered. Not all AA groups are like this. I was a bit hypomanic when I had my "spiritual awakening" and the teachings from my ex-sponsor were rather God focused to the extreme. Not in a fearful, authority type way, but in a very consumed sort of way. None of us thought we were Jesus, a prophet, God, etc. It wasn't like that. We didn't think we were special or anything, or favored in any way. It was just that we were taught to be connected to God. It's hard to explain. But in hindsight, I see how that sort of thing was not a good idea for me. I can easily get hypomanic about my latest obsession and I need to be careful of that. Perhaps that's true Bipolar II. I don't know. But I did talk a little bit about it with my therapist and new pdoc. However, I also mentioned God to my family physician a while ago and I think he thought I was nuts. Oops. I feel more like "me" now that I've stopped going there and have reined in the religious stuff. I need to do stuff balanced.

But I would never tell people that I was something special. I once told a girl I sometimes go into "God mode". But that's about it.

I think I know what you mean. I used to go into "spiritual mode" where I think I might have had that weird gleam in my eyes.

Now this is nothing compared to schizophrenics. Those guys can become seriously deluded especially if schizoaffective.

There's a young man who used to attend that meeting that was schizophrenic and when he was off his meds, he got like that. But he had a really healthy self awareness when he was back on meds.

Hope that answers everything

It does. Thank you.

It is hard to learn to recognise your emotions and motivations, I guess this is why CBT is considered an important part of treatment for bipolar. And it can be a difficult conversation to have, asking someone to give you a nudge when you need restraint or self-awareness, not many trustworthy people relish such responsibility. But support is essential. Try to remember always that the most important part of managing bipolar, alongside effective medication, is giving yourself a break when you have relapsed. If you are prepared to be both responsible for and forgive yourself all at once you are on a good path.