What has worked for you?

Gah!

Doing this intensive therapy, twice a week with an individual therapist and supposed to be three times a week with group outpatient therapy (5 hours a day) and it is just TOO ######6 MUCH, I am so tired of it, and I've only done one of those group therapy sessions. My therapist says I'm not ready for a job but all I ######6 want is a job. She says I'm not ready to go out and meet people or make friends but all I want is to go out and meet people and make friends. She has a point about my home life being crappy (messy, disorganized, not great at taking care of myself) but I feel like I'm going insane!!! Can anyone talk me down from quitting all the therapy and trying to find full time work (which would be a bad idea, I have stuff I'm working through), or I don't know - just tell me your experiences with it and maybe let me know how it worked for you just focusing on mental health for a while?

AND - do any of you have tips, like websites, books, philosophies, or all three (or some other combination - OR ANYTHING YOU FIND USEFUL) that might help with finally learning how to do basic stuff like take care of myself (parents did not give me guidance and I've been struggling for years to learn and I feel like this is partly why my life is a mess, beyond the whole - WHY SHOWER IF I'M NOT EVEN GOING OUT thing) ???

I can understand you're frustrated in that you want to go out and get a job. But there's got to be reasons why your therapist is telling you that you're not ready yet. Be patient.

I also used to be in that place where I felt like I didn't know how to take care of myself and I wanted someone to teach me. I wish I could've hired a professional mom to come over and teach me everything my mother should've taught me, but didn't.

Have you mentioned that to your therapist? Have you asked her how you can learn basic things of how to take care of yourself? Perhaps she's thinking that once you can do that, then you can think about a job and socializing.

People like us who didn't have a healthy foundation, struggle more than someone who did have a healthy foundation and/or a supportive family system.

Take a deep breath and take one step at a time. I'm sorry if that makes you angry to hear, just trying to help because I have been there myself. Good luck. One day you'll look back on this all and see how far you've come.

Hey, thank you so much for your response. I actually ended up leaving that therapist and now have a new one I am trying. My last therapist, the one who said I wasn't ready for a job or friends, would get really frustrated with me. I told her I needed to figure out how to structure my day and she didn't seem to understand, so I told her that I had basically no idea of how to take care of myself and what to do or how to do it, and she just got annoyed and told me that I just need to make a plan and then follow through with it. She didn't really believe that I have bipolar anyway.

The new therapist I think I'll also have to move on from very soon. I'm looking around for a better one. This whole process is so frustrating. My mom's friend keeps asking my mom if I want to work at this grocery chain outlet for some extra money. My mom seems to be very upset that I don't have a job. So I've agreed to see about working there part time. I have some debt to pay off and I'd like SOME semblance of structure. Work is where I have always gotten my structure. Plus, the whole talking to people with no expectations of having to talk with them more outside of work thing. I don't know. Twice a week can't hurt too much, right? :/ I'm desperate.

kdoesthisabit wrote:Hey, thank you so much for your response. I actually ended up leaving that therapist and now have a new one I am trying. My last therapist, the one who said I wasn't ready for a job or friends, would get really frustrated with me. I told her I needed to figure out how to structure my day and she didn't seem to understand, so I told her that I had basically no idea of how to take care of myself and what to do or how to do it, and she just got annoyed and told me that I just need to make a plan and then follow through with it. She didn't really believe that I have bipolar anyway.

Not every therapist is going to be a good fit. I'm sorry she got frustrated with you. That's not very professional of her. I also have had trouble with therapists in that I've asked for help in how to take care of myself and help structure my day. Unfortunately, I have yet to meet a therapist who will do that with me. Life Coaches, however, will do that. Or, maybe people on here can help you structure and plan your day.

The new therapist I think I'll also have to move on from very soon. I'm looking around for a better one. This whole process is so frustrating. My mom's friend keeps asking my mom if I want to work at this grocery chain outlet for some extra money. My mom seems to be very upset that I don't have a job. So I've agreed to see about working there part time. I have some debt to pay off and I'd like SOME semblance of structure. Work is where I have always gotten my structure. Plus, the whole talking to people with no expectations of having to talk with them more outside of work thing. I don't know. Twice a week can't hurt too much, right? :/ I'm desperate.

What was the therapist's reasons for your not being ready to work? Does the new therapist think you're ready to work? I agree, I've been much more able to structure my day when I have a job. But we can't tell you here if you should go back to work or not.

Good luck. I hope the new therapist ends up being more of a match for you and you can stay.

I found individual therapy very helpful for a while. I never found group therapy that helpful other than inpatient. I think work is very important to mental health and you should try to work if possible. If not you can try to get disability. A social life is also important to mental health. Most important to stability IMO is sleep and the correct meds/dosage. A healthy living environment is also helpful: diet, exercise, family/friends support, no illegal drugs, little alcohol, etc.