Bipolar and Short Term Memory Loss

Hello, I’m dating someone who is Bipolar. I’m curious about memory loss. There are times where he’s in a mood swing (manic high?). Where he’ll say or do something (usually kind of mean) but won’t remember saying any of it. Is that common? I’m new to learning about Bipolarism and just want some advice as to not take some things personally. Thank you.

Memory loss isn't a symptom of bipolar in a typical sense. But when I was first manic and before I was medicated, my ex would tell me I said things that I had no recollection of. Hard to talk about it since I don't recall saying what I was told I said (it's been so long I don't even remember what it was I supposedly did say). And in the moment I'd feel paranoid that I was being manipulated and gaslighted. Still sort of think that way.

Alcohol can create black outs.

The medications can definitely cause it, especially benzodiazepines and other anxiety meds. They alter your brain chemistry in good and bad ways. People with Bipolar also tend to have poor sleep and moods which can also affect memory.
This isn't an excuse to treat you like crap though so tell him to get some help if he's acting up. Otherwise Bipolar people can be perfectly nice people as long as they're on the right medications. If you can tolerate the bad, the good should be worth it and they'll be grateful if you stick around.

I have a serious problem with short term memory loss. It's caused a lot of issues in my relationship. But I've never forgotten saying something mean to my fiance. I agree with the other poster that said there's no excuse for him treating you poorly.

I have both short & long term memory loss. When I was on lamictal it got a lot worse (and didn't get better even when I changed meds). I also don't remember conversations and things I've said to my partner (and vice versa). But saying something rude/mean and then "not remembering" he's said it is a BS excuse imho. Bipolar doesn't instantly make you say mean things to people and magically "forget" them.

notpersephone wrote:I have a serious problem with short term memory loss. It's caused a lot of issues in my relationship. But I've never forgotten saying something mean to my fiance. I agree with the other poster that said there's no excuse for him treating you poorly.

I'm 44 and was diagnosed bipolar after years of therapy and psychiatrists treating me for depression (I have discovered this is a very common misdiagnose). All my lifeI have had terrible problems with short term memory loss and absentmindedness, which makes me forget commitements and responsibilities. I really drive my couples nuts up to the point they start getting aggresive and lose respect for me. I am now trying to keep an agenda for work and commitements, which has somewhat improved this, but I still forget conversations, and when paranoid, feel people are trying to take advantage of this. I don't know if this is common and due to bipolar or simply just that (as my current couple tells me when she is mad) that I just don't give a damn about my commitements and about people. Anyone gone through this? Any advice?

This is an interesting one for me...

Personally, when things are bad, I lose chunks of time. Like if I'm manic or sometimes even hypomanic, I'll start to dissociate a bit. In college I'd attend lectures, eyes wide open (not sleepy), and my racing thoughts would bring me to this other place in my mind. Like daydreaming, but different. Tough to explain. But then all the sudden there would be a ruckus of people getting up around me and I would snap back to reality realizing I essentially blacked out for the entire lecture. It made school a living hell. A few times I did it while driving too. Suddenly I'd be at my destination, or somewhere else, and not remember how I got there. That was scary. Then when I had a psychotic episode, it was a complete blur. I don't remember most of it.

It's much better for me now, but my partner often gets frustrated with me for forgetting things that I had said or done previously. I'm not a jerk or anything. I'll just repeat myself or forget what I was doing/was supposed to do.

I would agree with others that medication can certainly play a role, and it may not always be directly linked to the disorder itself. My long-term memory is sometimes terrible. I feel like that may be a combination of the meds and PTSD.