Trance

Is going full blown psychotic (mood/emotionally unwell/mentally not present/complete loss of appetite behaviorally impaired and a loss of descision making skills like absolutely sick for a day upon waking normal and almost recovering from a one day mental fever where like I said all signs point to manic psychosis or some sort of depersonalization sober is that bipolar disorder? I know they say you can split personalities but one won't remember the other ones experience unless I'm mistaken? I think back later and I sill acknowledge myself as being the person but it's as if through someone else's eyes someone possessed at times but to experience every level imaginable of something mentally within only a day seems so unheard of.

I think it's different for everyone. It's not like you're good and evil or devil/angel like Two Face in batman or Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Psychosis is different and can be dangerous in some people. More so when you don't recognize it and don't seek help and aren't diagnosed yet. Depression can also be brutal especially if you aren't aware it's part of your illness. Once you are diagnosed and medicated, I think you can live fairly normally with some effort to take care of your physical/mental health.

I am diagnosed and have been on medications plus other treatment for the past 10 years. I don't have like an evil streak like I live a relatively normal life and I try not to let my past get to me unless I'm trying to confront it. But their's really no good vs evil more Ike healthy vs dissociative almost but nothing evil. Actions frowned upon even by myself and I'm sure others that it hurts but like a slip into a very impaired mental state. Idk I hate every time its happened and I still regard these things as my choices I'm not looking for a crutch or something to write it off as. I could understand not being diagnosed and standing behind behind being sick a little more so but it's just this total switch where I'm not all there like a dream state. Honestly I'm not sure what compels it or brings it on and I'm in no way affected by it like in the past it hasn't happened in some time nor do I intend on letting it ever have again not sure why I've given into something so dangerous and disgusting actions to me. I can only continue to move forward but I'm trying to understand what causes this sort of stuff in the first place where I'm not me but like an overnight possession that throws everything out the window and become sick and make sick choices it's just incredibly hard to wrap my head around.

Look at the DID Forum; do experiences you read about there resonate for you?