Life going nowhere?

I'm a college graduate turning 50 this year. I lost a part time job with flexibility that I had held for 14 years because I was in the hospital. Once the job got wind of my medical condition they pulled out all stops to fire me (for not being able to call or come to work for a day while I was in the psych ER). I have applied for 10 similar jobs recently, but have not been hired.

I have a husband. I have two grown children who are on their own, but I don't hear from them much. I have two teenagers at home, and our relationship is good. I have a tremendous anxiety and insecurity that comes from fear of what will happen to me if something happens to my husband because I don't feel that I would be able to manage things and provide for myself and my younger children without him.

I would like to try to go to work again because otherwise I'm just sitting around an empty house all day and getting more depressed. But I don't know if any job will hire me again.

Right now there's a terrible emptiness inside of me but that probably comes from the depression.

Thanks so much for your replies, zombie84 and MysteryLady8. They're very much appreciated. I'm sorry for the delayed response but I don't come on here very often at the moment.

@zombie84, I'm sorry you can relate to so much of my situation. I certainly never imagined my life would be like this at my age either, certainly not when I was a straight A student or when studying and working full-time. I'm glad you have the support of your fiancé, though- that truly is a gift, and I miss being in a relationship myself. What keeps me going is that hope that things can change for the better, and I sincerely wish that things improve for you, too.

@MysteryLady8, I'm so sorry to hear of the way you lost your job, as that seems extremely unfair to me. I do hope so very much that you're able to find another, and get the treatment you need to come out of your depressive episode- I know only too well how truly torturous they can be. It sounds as if you're fortunate to have your husband and children, though I can imagine the accompanying fear of losing your spouse's support at the same time. Wishing you all the best and I hope your situation will get better in the ways you'd like to see soon.

Hugs to both of you, if wanted x