anyone else feel especially quiet?

I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 about 8 years ago. Needless to say, the struggle is real, I'm sure you all can agree.
For about the past year I've been especially quiet and withdrawn. After my last magic episode I gained weight as I started taking meds regularly for the first time and also became pregnant not too long after (and later miscarried). Since then I have noticed I am abnormally quiet all the time. I thought it was the medication but after I became pregnant again a few months ago I stopped taking the medication to prevent another miscarriage and still the silence persists. I am obviously in a major depressed state but I have never felt so disconnected and awkward in social situations until this past year. I feel I don't have anything to add to conversations and I feel like other people think it's strange how quiet I am. Does anyone else feel this way? I tried to Google being quiet and bipolar but I just found a lot of articles on breaking the silence of being bipolar. Not helpful. The only thing I did find online I can relate to is another blogger a few years ago who wrote, "I just cant communicate. I am reminded of the line from Radiohead's “Street Spirit” - “this machine cannot communicate the thoughts, and the strain I am under”.
I've got nothing to live for. I can't get any possible pleasure from life. I can see no future. And my past hurts me too much to think of.

It's not depression playing tricks it is just how it is. Every single day is hell for me. Sitting in silence, waiting for drinking time so I can once again be unconscious. Getting up in the morning to nothing and no one. Few hours alone with nothing at all to interest me. Then drinking again.

Unemployable. Unlovable. Unlikeable.

No purpose. Nothing.

No pills or therapy can change that.

At best, I have the rest of my life as a hermit. Quite detached from the whole human race, looking out the window of my flat or a bus every now and then at all this human life going on. And I will never be part of it.

There is not enough left of me to save. Everything I ever was is now long dead.

I exist for existence sake.

How do you continue to live when you are alien and separate to all others?

To know that from now until you die sitting on your own is all there can ever be.

To never love or be loved.

To hurt. All day. Every Day.

All things are impossible to me."

TRIGGER WARNING

That basically sums up how i feel. What's scary is that the guy who blogged this continued on into how suicidal he was and how he was going to kill himself on his bday in 2015. Then the posts stopped. Scary right?
So my question again is does anyone else feel quiet and withdrawn during the depression phase and what has helped you?

I'm not sure if this would be what you're going through, but could it possibly be Postpartum Depression? Did this all occur after the miscarriage? Having bipolar on top of that would be hell, and I'm sorry that you have to go through it. If it is postpartum depression, on top of the bipolar stuff, then there is help out there. I haven't gone through it, because I'm a male person, and can't have children, but I do have a link that may be able to help you

http://www.ppdil.org/symptoms-of-ppmds/ ... gJKbfD_BwE

No, not postpartum. I am pregnant again with a healthy baby. Maybe it's just me.....

Depression can take away all joy and feeling out of you. That's depression. Dealing with it is another thing because you feel like there is no end to that. But I believe there is. When it's chemically induced, only meds will help. I truly have felt the way you describe to a T, but when I got my meds and they were the right ones, I became stable and I felt all kinds of feelings and I have so much to look forward to. Tell your doctor everything you shared here so that they know where you are at with your depressive episode.

I felt especially quiet because I was severely depressed and had no hope. I did feel I had nothing to contribute in 3D or online, even here on PF. Hugs if wanted.

Yes. I get this way when I am depressed. I just sort of "go through the motions". I am very quiet and will even refrain from online communication. Last year, I spent the bulk of the year feeling this way, but it was because of being on such high doses of my medication. I was a complete zombie and had nothing to contribute to anything. I have since come off of that medication and I'm more "myself", but I'm at a high risk of having episodes come back.

I used to be fine in elementary school. I was happy and fairly smart for my age. In middle school had severe social anxiety and bad experiences with teachers/students. By high school I was drinking and smoking pot and felt more social again. I definitely have had awkward silence moments with people but I have learned to make small talk and ask questions and read people better. When my life is boring, I have less to talk about. I try to stay up on the latest news and social media can be a good social outlet. Particularly forums on subjects you're interested in. I've found as I've gotten older my old friends and I have less and less in common.