Relationships and stuff

Hi, new to this forum.

I was wondering if anyone else has problems in relationships due to a diagnosis?
Personally, I just feel guilty, that my partner is so normal and I feel so out of it.
Do you ever find yourself pushing them away?
Wanting to know I'm not alone in feeling like this..

Cheers.

When I get manic and/or psychotic, I get mad at my boyfriend and scream at him. I apologize almost immediately. He understands. He has a mental health diagnosis, too (Schizoid Personality Disorder, and Seasonal Affective Disorder). He's generally really laid back (because of the SPD, more than likely). It hurts to know that I treat him like this. You're by no means alone. I feel like I'm pushing him away. I ask him, all the time, "Do I abuse you?" He gets mad at me for asking it, because he says I don't.

Meet another Bipolar at group therapy and make lots of crazy babies
But I force myself to be as normal as possible and it can be stressful.
You don't know how soon to tell them and if they're going to leave you because of it if say they had a bad experience with someone that was bipolar. Being single and just dating has its perks too.

Me and mine both have issues. He has been dx'ed with mild Asperger's and though undiagnosed he fits every symptom of a narcissistic borderline. I have been dx'ed with schizoid PD and bipolar I, so it's pretty obvious for him when I get manic.

We seem to do great together due to how our mental health situations are so similar yet different. We both use lots of patience when the other is being very difficult, because we each know the other will have to do the same later.

My schizoid anhedonia + bipolar craves stimulation. We're both hermits, so his quirkiness doesn't get too crazy for me to deal with. His borderline gets along with the fact that he knows I have the patience of a saint and won't (his words) "leave him for all the forever times." The NPD gets annoying, but he accepts critique well, and I know I'm egocentric...hence I can't judge too harshly.

When he gets into very over-dramatic borderline states, I can easily talk him down in a calm manner, and he's very good at talking logic into me when I get delusional/paranoid. He likes being over dramatic for his own attention, but quickly diffuses my nonsense quickly. I dunno. It seems to work for us either way.

I push people away all the time. Just recently my boyfriend was getting upset that he hardly sees me anymore. But sometimes I just need to be alone so that I don't snap at him because of all the negative thoughts in my head. He's rather "normal". A little too normal. In the entire 3 years I have been with him, I have never seen him angry...

katiem wrote:Hi, new to this forum.
I was wondering if anyone else has problems in relationships due to a diagnosis?
Personally, I just feel guilty, that my partner is so normal and I feel so out of it.
Do you ever find yourself pushing them away?
Wanting to know I'm not alone in feeling like this..

Welcome Katie!
My bf broke up with me because of my dx and my inability to keep myself safe. He would go between saying he would never leave me to threatening to leave if I couldn't deal with my illness in a healthy way. And yeah I felt guilty about him having to deal with my crap while he was a completely normal guy. We went through a period where I tried not to talk to him about my mental health. I didn't feel as close to him during that time, but our relationship was less turbulent. Its hard to know what to do.

I never pushed my bf away, but when I'm not well I have pushed away and cut off friends. When I'm not well I feel as if I'm doing them a favor by pushing them away so they don't have to deal with me. I cut people off because I feel like they are going to leave me anyway so by leaving them first I'm somehow protecting myself from the pain of them leaving me (if that makes sense). Of course when I'm feeling okay I realize that its up to each individual person to make that decision for themselves, but in the moment it seems like the right thing to do.

-S

Oh boy...

I'm really lucky. My fiancé is a saint. I used to always refer to them as my guardian angel. We just got engaged, but we've been together for six and a half years.

(I'm using ambiguity here for anonymity purposes) In the beginning I pushed them away all the time. I was highly unstable and I was really concerned about how my issues would affect them. I never let them make the decision for themselves that I was too messed up to handle. We almost did break up, a couple times, but somehow we managed to keep it together. When I was at my very worst I had a psychotic break and caused some serious damage to our relationship. I didn't cheat or anything, but I was so erratic and crazy that it was almost too much for them to bare. I was paranoid, delusional, suicidal, confused, and sometimes even catatonic. Honestly, I should have been hospitalized but I managed to run away several times and avoided it by the time I started to come around. But this person essentially was a huge reason I even survived. They literally saved my life, and they nursed me back to health afterward.

I still feel so guilty for the things they went through, but I can't take it back. Now, I do a lot less pushing-away. They are excellent at reading me before I even know things are off, and they do a good job of keeping me "normal" when things start to go out of whack. Medication has played a part in making it better, but I've learned and grown a lot from that experience. I try to do what I can to make sure they know just how much they are appreciated and loved.

These days we take care of each other very well. Even though my fiancé is normal, just like anyone they have their natural ups and down. While I definitely don't wish any negative emotions on them, I enjoy the opportunity to be there for them and help return the care and devotion they have shown me during rough times. We are also very open and honest with each other. For the most part we have learned to share our feelings and talk things out. I think that's what a healthy relationship is all about.

Cheers,
-Breeze

Yes, I can totally relate! I feel very out of it most of the tone and all of my past relationships have suffered. I feel the inability to communicate effectively and feel guilty my past boyfriends have had to put up with me and my disorder. You are not alone. All I can advise you to do is make sure you're with someone who loves and supports you and if they do, don't take them for granted. And don't be too hard on yourself, you didn't chose to be bipolar. You can only do so much. Just be yourself and try to enjoy the good things about your relationship.