Hi,
I'm not sure where to place this, I hope the moderators move it to its rightful place.
For the past few weeks, I've been having extreme mood swings, I'm either on top of the world and feel genuinly excited and grateful for small things in my life, or I'm unable to leave my bed and handle the outside world. One moment I'm looking forward to meeting my friends, the next I have the urge to be alone and can't stand people, I keep running from places looking for "peace" that I then can't deal with. The anxiety has gone way worse and is ever-present, I feel a constant numb headache, and more and more often have suicidal thoughts. Because of it I experience anger management issues that I'm less and less able to hold in. There's no (visible) reason for feeling this way and I refuse to take antidepress. since they're getting in way of my creativity and are making me completely numb, which I can't afford happening at the moment. Everything just seems grey and numb, except those rare moments of excitement that appear out of nowhere. I've dealt with this in the past by misusing substances.
Are these symptoms of depression, if they are how come they come and go?