Im new to forum plus Bipolar *TRIGGER WARNING*

Hello everyone, I just wanted to take a moment to say hi and let you know a little about myself.
All this is new to me and I’m still trying to get my head around things. I will start back in October 2016 although things was bad on and off for years before. My wife took me to Iceland for my 40th birthday which was fantastic! When we returned from the holiday I felt really depressed but went back to work for half a shift which I was taking bad and just needed to go home. I was a career for people with learning disabilities and mental health and doing 24hr shifts. Since leaving after that shift I have not been back to work and handed my notice in. I was having really bad times lasting weeks and when on a high buying stuff on cards and not having the money to pay back. I even done lots of these payday loans and spending more. It got that bad I got hold of my mums card details and my dads PayPal details. Once I come down and released what I had done I would get very upset and depressed till the next high moments. I took out another big loan and booked a family holiday in Ibiza. I owe so much money but can’t repay it, think I may have to try and go bankrupt… going back to coming back from the Iceland holiday I went downhill fast with suicidal thoughts. On the 28th of November 2016 I woke up and went downstairs without knowing what I was doing, *mod edit* I snapped out of it due to hearing a noise upstairs which was my daughter moving around in bed. I sat there devastated. *mod edit* I was surely in a dark place but kept it from everyone for around 2 weeks. I took up cycling just to push myself to get out the house and in that week covered some miles just going around lanes so I didn’t have to see to many people, around 2 weeks after the gun incident I was starting to hear a strong males voice which was telling me to do things, this happened one afternoon while out on my bike,*mod edit* Luckily for me there was a man walking his dog and stayed with me talking. A lady stopped in her car and was going to phone the police so I fled quickly and made it home as I wasn’t going to get sectioned.
The next morning I phoned the doctors and he saw me that morning, he prescribed fluoxetine for me which I was on till Christmas Day when more voice started while I was helping my wife prep dinner. The voices was trying to get me to cut my wrist. *mod edit* my wife phoned the Nhs who told her to stop my meds right then and to contact my GP once they was back open in the new year. I went to see him when there were open and he handed me over to the mental health team who put me on quetiapine which made me feel like a zombie for about 2weeks. I’ve been back since and now got a new mental health doctor and he has put my quetiapine to 50mg at night and 50mg by day as and when I need it by day, also he has now put me on Pregabalin 50mg 3 times a day and I’m on my 4th day with them. They are playing silly tricks with me as I forget what I’m doing mid flow of something and can’t seem to remember a lot of stuff. Everything keeps going really bright and the room spins and if people are talking to me it goes echoey. I know it’s early days but do you think I should be on something else as he diagnosed Bipolar ll back the 11th of August. The holiday in Ibiza was just amazing and since been home a month from it I was on a high and started looking for the next holiday. To take my mind of it my wife said we are going back to Ibiza next year and it’s working at the moment. Sorry for the long message but it gives you a little of my background. I still struggle with this maniac/mania & hypomanina but I’m sure I will get my head around things in time. I’ve got an appointment on the 3rd of November to meet my care coordinator so she can write up a care plan. What the heck has happened to me ? I’m not me…

Keith

Have upped my Pregabalin to 100mg 3 times a day now. Still feeling very low

Welcome, I'd say listen to your doctors and do your research online. The main drugs to treat bipolar symptoms are anti-psychotics, mood stabilizers, and benzodiazepines for anxiety. It takes a while to find the right mix that works for you. I would focus 100% on your mental health and don't worry about any vacations, work, or school until you're stable.