Do you get Ideas of Reference?

Thanks, Son.

I am on medication and see a psychiatrist every four months (was three up until the last two appointments, though I think he has vacations, which is fair). I saw a therapist up until the early part of 2016. He moved, and there was no way I could get to him. Part of my therapy with him was sexual addiction therapy (my crime was a sex crime. I was 18, he was 15, we talked. That's it, he lived in another state.)

For my Schizoaffective, I come here for support. My therapist told me that it was 100% up to me if I sought out another therapist. He said I seemed stable enough. I hadn't had any sex problems since the crime. My therapist personally thought the charges were bologna, but he still did the sexual addiction therapy stuff, just to be safe. But yeah, he moved to a practice that was 25 minutes north, and closer to his home. We already travel 40-50 minutes one way to get there, we're not adding another 25 minutes on top of it. That, and I felt like I didn't need it. There are days where I think "God, I wish I could talk to him..." but they're far and few between.

I've been on Geodon and Lexapro for years now. I'm going to ask my doctor about going off of it. I was actually going to ask him last appointment, but I got wrote up at work and wanted to talk about how that made me feel and what it did to my mood and stuff. I actually ran out of Lexapro, because he gave me a refill on it, and I called both the Geodon and Lexapro in at the same time. Geodon was there in two days, lexapro took over two weeks. I went six days without it. No withdrawal symptoms or anything. Didn't feel any better or any worse than I did while taking it. However, I am still taking it. I just went without and didn't know what to do in the mean time, because I knew it was on the way.

Yes yes.

EDIT: Going off the lexapro. No way in hell can I ever go off the Geodon, unless I become immune to it.

@Tyler glad to hear you're taking care of yourself.

Treatment for schizoaffective is the same for bipolar, correct? I have hallucinations when not in a mood episode and my Dr has mentioned it to me when I pressed her about it. I hear my name in everyone's conversation as if total strangers on the street in the city I live in are talking about me. And lots of music played in other rooms or my headphones when there is none. Doesn't disturb me nearly as much as delusions. But I don't think a new official diagnosis matters if its like: mood stabilizer/anti-psychotic city for both.

I can't imagine being without my T. I depend on him quite a bit. It's a weird thing because he's painfully attractive to me and I once had a real issue staying focused. Got over it thank god.

I hope things get back to stable for you soon! I hate that I have symptoms even though I take a lot of meds. I mean I know it would be far worse without them.

Yes, Bipolar with psychosis and Schizoaffective are treated the exact same, as far as I know. Geodon can be used as both a mood stabilizer and an anti-psychtoic. Abilify can be, too, if I'm not mistaken. They are generally treated the same though, yes.

Sorry for the short reply. I'm tired. Hope you feel better soon, Son. Sending hugs your way. Have a good day. I'm going to bed. Yes yes.

Hi Son,

Once when I was psychotic, I had some of these things to a degree. The most prevalent thing was that I was 100% certain that the police were out to get me. Technically, I was somewhat correct. They had come to my house to do a wellness check and I escaped out a back door. They found me at a friends house (still have no idea how) and there was a confrontation where I started to freak out. They almost drew their guns. I've always been extremely polite and respectful to police, so this was highly uncharacteristic of me. But my friend managed to convince them that she could take care of me and they left. The next morning I believed she was in on a plot with my whole family to have me committed so I ran away and wandered both the woods and the city for over 24 hours. I was considered a missing person and the police were searching for me... Therein lies the degree of truth.

My point in telling you is that this happened at least 4 years ago and to this day I am completely paranoid that the police are out to get me. It was so strongly embedded in my psyche that I cannot get rid of the delusion. I am your average, seemingly normal, law-abiding citizen, but every time I see a cop I swear that they can see right through my façade and are going to come after me. No matter how sane I am, I see it everywhere, and I start to panic inside if one comes near me. The craziest thing is that before that happened I really wanted to be a cop, and even now I want to be one sometimes.

Anyway, I think that is sort of what you're talking about: the fact that I have the delusion all the time and I see a plot in everything. Does that make sense?

Oh God yes! PARANOIA!! I get this so bad.

MAY TRIGGER!!

I think that everyone is talking about me and also when I hear laughter in public I think it is about me.

I thought that my whole family was working together to destroy me. I didn't know exactly what their intentions were, but I became afraid them.

I thought my boyfriend was going to kill me and I didn't sleep the entire night that I was with him because I wanted to be able to fight him off.

There was another instance I thought my boyfriend was going to kill me, but I thought that he was going to take me to the woods and chop me up with an ax.

I was in the hospital and was convinced this guy was going to come into my room and rape and/or kill me so I was up all night. Every time a nurse walked in I would get so scared. I probably should have told them about this...

I thought my entire family was murdered in their beds and the killer was still in the house and I was next, so I locked myself in my room.

I was convinced there was a hidden camera in the shower and people were watching me.

There are more, but I won't write them all out because this would be one hell of a post. I think this would also be delusional? But not psychosis? I'm not sure. Strangely, my mental health team hasn't said anything about this.

Hi Tyler,

I am sorry you feel like crap.

I have bipolar 1 with psychotic features. One day, my therapist thought maybe I was schizoaffective.

My psychiatrist and I discussed it. Therapist shared office space so met with him about.

I was jarred by the possibility. It took me years to accept life has changed due to bipolar. I read up on schizoaffective, you spelled it out.

My psychiatrist told me I didn’t have schizoaffective. I was relieved. He said that the treatment meds ... I was already on them, lol. Makes sense. I take Geodon and Lexapro, too.

I’m diagnosed with Social anxiety and I never felt anything like a break from reality/psychosis. I think mine is mild. GAD and PTSD and Panic disorder all suck for me. OCD is under control. My psychiatrist diagnosed me with the above, it he wanted to be thorough so he sent me to a neuropsychologist and another psychiatrist for full evaluations. All came out the same. Damn.

I visit another site and the schizoaffective forum isn’t very active, but the bipolar forums is BUSY. Lots of peeps have schizoaffective in that forum. I can’t tell the difference unless someone posts, “hey, I’m new and got diagnosed with schizoaffective...can I post in bipolar with you all.” Absolutely.

My.mixed episode has me meandering. I apologize. I may have just posted irrelevant info to your post. My short term memory is shot lately. It’s weird.

I imagine we have schizoaffective members? Maybe poll with a loud speaker for us in here to raise our hand if they sometimes get psychotic and state diagnoses. *hand shoots up and waits for Tyler to call on me.

Dude, you’ve been through a lot of stuff and stress, fro what I read on your post. I hope you feel better. Hang in there. It will change. How you feel. I know you know that...I just remind myself...doesn’t mean I’ll cycle into anything good...but just brain...change the station. Damn squirrels.

xo