Do you get Ideas of Reference?

SO I'm going over some of my psychotic symptoms and am wondering if others relate to them. Over the years I've experienced intense periods of:

1. Paranoia, thinking everyone's public conversation / laughter was about me.

2. Seeing words in restaurant street signs that seemed directed at me with hidden coded meaning

3. Being paranoid that some government agency was after me, and then seeing signs in my FB feed that confirmed it.

That last one went on for months this past spring when I was deeply stressed and depressed. I didn't tell my pdoc about it because I didn't realize until months later that it was a delusion. After I was feeling better.
Does anyone experience these when psychotically depressed or manic? I seem to have these symptoms when on either end of the bipolar episode spectrum.

1. Paranoia, thinking everyone's public conversation / laughter was about me.
No, I think people close to me are defaming me. E.g. my aunt is gossiping about me to my sister about what a ghastly "disturbed"/bpd/mentally unwell/[insert stigmitising label]" person that Skitterish is. I also think my doctor, psychologist and psychiatrist gossip about me to one another about what a difficult, ghastly, untreatable right off of a patient I am. I think that when I'm in an appointment with them they are just nodding at me whilst thinking, "geez this lonely boring person so bring I'm not listening, I'm far more interested in my fascinating cases". I think they are in their line of work not to help sick people get better but only for their own intellectual stimulation & to boost their egos, that each new patient is merely 'fresh meat' & more 'data' to provide them with intellectual stimulation rather than a human being of inherently equal value to themselves.

2. Seeing words in restaurant street signs that seemed directed at me with hidden coded meaning
No. I'm much more interested in people's eye contact, facial expressions, emotions and behaviours towards me.

3. Being paranoid that some government agency was after me, and then seeing signs in my FB feed that confirmed it.
No. But I find social media and the internet generally mighty intrusive so I am connected to it as little as possible. I really don't like the idea of cookies (or whatever they are, I'm not an IT geek) following me around the internet & then advertisers bombarding me with ads for cr#p I don't want. I don't feel they're after me, I feel enraged that people are almost constantly trying to profit from me & sell me junk by wearing me down with aggressive advertising online.

I experience these pretty much whenever I have contact with these triggers, plus if I'm bipolar I'm rapid cycle (all symptoms in one day, each day) so I feel most things most days. My hunch is I'm not especially paranoid so much as cynical & bitterly disappointed about the unmoveable indifference people close to me hold towards me & my well-being - I guess that's the depression part.

Yes those all sound very familiar! Welcome to the club! Facebook is known to perform psychology experiments on it's users. I deleted mine. The government also does track everyone's cell phone conversation since the Patriot Act. So your delusions have some truth to them. Street signs are usually not a "sign" however

I just did ten minutes ago...I posted in what’s your mood thread. cardinal.

Yup yup yup. I'm grateful that I'm fairly self aware during my "signs" episodes. I'm aware enough to keep it to myself, and not act on it at least. Still I'll get what if questions in the back of my head. It's annoying.

Son wrote:SO I'm going over some of my psychotic symptoms and am wondering if others relate to them. Over the years I've experienced intense periods of:

1. Paranoia, thinking everyone's public conversation / laughter was about me.

2. Seeing words in restaurant street signs that seemed directed at me with hidden coded meaning

3. Being paranoid that some government agency was after me, and then seeing signs in my FB feed that confirmed it.

That last one went on for months this past spring when I was deeply stressed and depressed. I didn't tell my pdoc about it because I didn't realize until months later that it was a delusion. After I was feeling better.
Does anyone experience these when psychotically depressed or manic? I seem to have these symptoms when on either end of the bipolar episode spectrum.

Yes to all several years ago...to a T. Eight months. Bipolar 1mkxed episode with delusional psychosis. I finally told psychiatrist trusted him ONLY. He snapped me into reality with ONE question and then he made med changes. He’s ...good.

I’m sorry you get this...no secret society currently but it’s back...can’t call him. He will put me IP, I can’t right now. Sorry, this thread is about you. I’m so scattered, sorry for derailing

PM me if you ever need support... I can support you when this goes away. It will ... beauty of bipolar disorder is feeling so bad is never permanent. (Cycle me soon, shakes fist at no one)

xo

2014 was mostly a horrible year for me. Worst year of my life, probably. Was facing years in prison, has a stressful job where I was under appreciated and under paid, and was constantly psychotic, manic, and depressed.

1. That could be social anxiety. You could be self-conscious. My boyfriend is. He thinks everyone immediately hates him, and everyone is laughing at him.

2. This is a common sign of psychosis. I remember hearing John Lennon's "Working Class Hero" on my way to a therapist appointment, and thinking that it was a secret message that was telling me to go on a shooting spree at a location that I'm aware of, but have never been to (because it's too far away and I'd have no reason to go there). Hearing "hidden messages" in music, on television, talk radio, reading it on signs and whatnot, it's common psychosis. The important thing is know that it's just that - psychosis.

3.That too is common psychosis. It was incredibly bad for me, because the police were actually after me, or so I thought. The D.A, the state, and my probation officer (who specifically doesmentally ill people) were all on my side. The D.A actually stood up in front of the judge and said "He fell into one of the traps of the law." He gave me the easiest possible outcome: 3 months of ARD probation. I completed it, it's now off my record. This was AFTER I had already violated my ARD probation rules the first time. If you have never committed a crime, they're not after you.

Long story short, this is all common psychosis.

Not to diagnose, but it's common with Bipolar I. Your doctor may have already asked you (or may ask you) if you experience them while you're NOT manic OR depressed. That's generally how they classify the difference between Schizoaffective Disorder and Bipolar I with psychotic symptoms. It sounds like you already are, but it's best to talk about these things with your doctor.

@Tyler *hugs

Holodeck wrote:@Tyler *hugs

Thanks, hon. I'm manic now. I tend to make my posts about both me and the person who's either suffering or just asking questions when I'm manic. Something I just can't help. I kind of got off on the "me" part a bit too much there though

Tyler wrote:

Holodeck wrote:@Tyler *hugs

Thanks, hon. I'm manic now. I tend to make my posts about both me and the person who's either suffering or just asking questions when I'm manic. Something I just can't help. I kind of got off on the "me" part a bit too much there though

I'm really sorry you're having a hard time right now. It's ok to post about your experience. Helps me feel less alone. But of course I wish you were feeling better! No one should have to suffer through this. Do you have a self care plan? Dr? T?