I'm just not sure any longer TRIGGER WARNING

Sorry to hear that you're going through this, GB, and sorry that I haven't replied sooner. I was going through a bit of a situation similar to yours. Mine's a little different, though. I got depressed and suicidal about something that happened about three years ago. It originally started six years ago, but it lasted for about three. This thing could possibly follow me around forever, it could stop me from enjoying life all together, but it passed. My life could have been ruined because of this.

Things can always happen. You will get better. I did.

Sending hugs and prayers.

GB,
We deserve a pity party because we go through so much. Especially when we feel as you are feeling. More hugs sent your way.

In the grand scheme of things, nothing matters as much as your mental health and happiness. I would focus on that as much as you can.