I do this thing. I obsess over new people or things, and then as quickly as it comes, I'm done with them.
It's not really a problem with things, unless I sink money into something and never touch it again.
::glances at chainmaille stuff::
It's a bigger problem with people, because I'm polarized AF...
This time last year, I was deep in the midst of a seemingly unending depression that has only lifted as recently as last month. During that time, I became close with a person I've know for a while as a distant acquaintance. He got a BP Dx and I've never been shy about my BP, so I guess I just seemed like a good person to reach out to.
We developed a routine of watching AHS and some other shows at his house every Friday. It was nice for me because otherwise I didn't leave the house or see anyone.
Nice and good, fast forward to a few month ago. He's recovered from his scrape with rock bottom, gotten balanced on his meds, and picked up a friend group.
To his credit, he tried to include me, got me invited to their get-togethers and stuff, but these just aren't people I would be friends with. So, instead of finding me a place in his world, we just haven't seen each other for a few months.
During that time, he updated me on his friend group. A girl had a breakdown and long story short SHE HAS ######6 BP TOO?! How over-diagnosed is BP? Or does EVERYONE just have it? (I don't even feel special anymore. /s)
Also during that time, I hit my own rock bottom. Long story short, I'm alive but that's really because of chance. During MY spiral, he didn't even ask how I am. I'd told him I was having a hard time, and instead of being there he was off with his new friend group. And that was honestly fine...
Until AHS started again. Why? Because somehow I'm expected to go to his place and just resume my role. I resent that idea. It's not like he even bothered to check on me. His friend withdraws and has a breakdown and he's there for her, but I withdraw and don't even SEE HIM for MONTHS and that's not at all suspicious? Really? Really really? Also, I'm finally on an upswing. No part of me wants to spend my Friday nights on his sofa watching TV. I prefer to enjoy my upswings... even if that's just me at home alone screaming at a video game (cuz I do that and I can't game when I'm depressed... I've so much to catch up on.)
Anyways... My point is, as far as my black and white brain goes, he's in the black. I don't give a ###$ anymore. BUT how the ###$ do you friend-break-up with someone who didn't REALLY do anything wrong? It's not like I reached out to him and asked for help, he just didn't actually notice anything was wrong... and I resent that because he's so wrapped up in these new people that he couldn't see it. But really, not noticing isn't a crime. If I'd ended up dead, he'd have been surprised, even though all the signs were there, just like everyone is always surprised when people end up dead.
So, while I don't give a damn about him anymore, I'm aware that my polarized thought process isn't socially acceptable and saying, "I just don't care about you anymore" is a dick move... but I don't wanna be friends with him anymore. We no longer share interests... So how do I do this... kindly?