Violent thoughts?

Do you struggle with violent thoughts? I won't go into whether I enjoy them or not at length (I don't), I'm just curious if any of you experience them.

My diagnosis is Bipolar II and PTSD.

Very rarely and very briefly; never feels like an urge to actually do anything. This is one of those things that I wonder if we worry about too much because of possible MI correlation that may or may not exist. I think lots of people have flashes of it when they feel wronged by someone or are otherwise made to feel really angry.

My mania is mostly rage, not euphoria.
I have lots of violent thoughts.
I usually write them down to use in a comic book scene later.
Also, sometimes when they're very strong thoughts I try to workout till it stops.
Exhaustion helps everything.

Yes, I've had them, mainly when manic/psychotic as, like Rev678 said, my manic episodes tend to be dysphoric and full of rage, sometimes to an uncontrollable extent. Usually a meds change of upping or adding in an antipsychotic, plus Diazepam short-term sorts out the aggression fairly quickly.

However, I'm sorry to say at times I've acted out on my violent impulses, such as when I was hospitalised for mania/psychosis (one of my biggest episodes to date). I acted aggressively to staff and had to be restrained and sedated, and I also assaulted my mum when in hospital, something I feel shame about to this day.

Luckily, like I mentioned, the violent thoughts go away once the underlying mood episode has been treated, though. It's extremely out of character for me to be violent or have violent thoughts- they mostly seem to accompany severe highs and psychosis.

I used to get this way all the time, even when not in an episode. Like I'd be casually having a conversation with someone and have thoughts of punching them square in the face, or putting my cigarette out on them. I never acted on any of it, but the thoughts were there, and it was kind of distressing. It hasn't happened in a long time, though, so I wonder if the medication I am on is stopping these thoughts.

I think it's something to do with OCD for me, because the thoughts are painful to have and I feel god awful when I have them. They aren't frequent but boy do they happen suddenly and without reason. I would say a few times a year infrequent, and if I'm manic, it's more likely to occur. I've had a few conversations with doctors and close family about it and everyone seems to agree it's OCD related, because of my guilt and the sick feeling I get when I have them.

I do a fair bit. Aggressive and violent. I am usually good at controlling it but there are definitely times where it feels near impossible. I have been feeling this way consistently for quite some time now unfortunately.

When in a manic stage where I am irritable I get feelings of anger and I have had violent thoughts. After the one past episode (about 10 years and unmedicated) the feelings persisted for a while (some months) and I told the psychiatrist about them. He just listened. I was undiagnosed at that time. But yes, for me mania can mean violent thoughts that I have no control over having them.

quietgirl2538 wrote:When in a manic stage where I am irritable I get feelings of anger and I have had violent thoughts. After the one past episode (about 10 years and unmedicated) the feelings persisted for a while (some months) and I told the psychiatrist about them. He just listened. I was undiagnosed at that time. But yes, for me mania can mean violent thoughts that I have no control over having them.

It's actually kinda relieving to hear this from others... I genuinely have no control over them. I haven't had one in a very long time, but whenever I do it just -happens-. I'm not thinking of anything or feeling hateful either. I do have anger issues but I never am premeditating violence or anything. This is also why it's so upsetting to admit to doctors.. I worry they will think I'm lying when I'm not

Yeah, I get them almost everyday, usually triggered by other people - have to remind myself that acting upon them would land me in jail for the rest of my life... or worse. I don't feel too bad about those thoughts, after all, those thoughts aren't necessarily in my control.