I'm back, or should I say I'M BACK ! ! !

Hard not to let my craziness flow right now but since you haven't heard from me since March and have no idea how I am, laying down some of my self deprecating humor would probably be alarming.

Today I got ANOTHER phone call from the WINDOWS SYSTEMS VIRUS MONITORING phone scam. I have played them, been rude, hung up, begged them to stop calling me, told them I have a MAC... Nothing makes them stop calling. Today, I was inspired, laid a trip on the guy and he hung up instantly.

Just said, "Have you asked Jesus to be your personal savior?" Instant hang up. Worked perfectly.

So where am I?
Depressed. 2016, the year from hell, keeps running in my head. I'm struggling to move on. But I think I'm making progress. Not buying lottery tickets, hoping for instant financial salvation. Not spending inordinate amounts of money, trying to buy freedom from frustrations. Not giving gifts and money away, trying to buy love, affirmation and connection. Not drinking and not eating huge amounts of comfort food... Don't smoke, don't take drugs... My life is sickeningly under control except that I can spend days in my apartment alone and have to tell myself constantly not to call certain people because they have proven themselves not to be my friends.

I have burned bridges with the worst of the jerks. Sort of winning felt sweet at the time but losing trust and respect of people I thought were friends still hurts. I forced the National Director of a charity to admit to his Board of Directors what he had done and made them send $10,000 to another charity in my city that deals with homeless people. The money changed hands at the beginning of June this year. Never did like the National Director, but have resigned from the Charity that was central to my life since 2010. The leverage I used was documentation and promising to go to the media if they didn't make things right.

This is getting too long.
I'm depressed... replaying 2016 again. Time to stop.
Will return to crazy humor soon.

Welcome back Skilsaw! Sorry to hear about the jerks but glad the troubles of 2016 are over. I'm confident you'll make it through

inbetweenPaul wrote:Welcome back Skilsaw! Sorry to hear about the jerks but glad the troubles of 2016 are over. I'm confident you'll make it through

Thank you.
The trouble with winning a war is that the victor has to deal with the destruction left behind. My head is a mess. It is not all victory parades. When it became clear they had broken my trust and were unwilling to discuss healing the relationship, I just went for the money, forcing them to send money to another charity was bitter sweet. Like in a separation where your spouse won't go to counselling together, you decide to get a divorce and make them pay. But my first choice would have been to heal the relationship. That is the wreckage left behind. Enough of that.

Tomorrow is a new week. Meeting a friend on Tuesday and another on Thursday. Haven't seen either for quite a while. Catching up will be good.