New Member- No Emotional Support *TW*

Hi everyone! My name is Alex and I am new to this discussion Board. Actually, I'm new to ANY discussion board. Basically I'm joining this board because I desperately need an emotional support network. I don't get any support from my family (Mom, Stepdad/dad, brother and my my biological father's ENTIRE side of the family. They have ultimately shuned my. I got out of my visit to the psych ward and my mom and stepdad told me I could not EVER live with them again. I found out after this agonizing blow that I can't even stay there. Ever again. Now I am living in a 4 bedroom apartment with very unstable, emotionally disturbed, disruptive, unclean, lazy roommates. My parents initially told me that I could get a single apartment after this lease is up. Well it's no surprise that they've changed their mind (never fails). Now I am a financial burden (and never lets me forget it) so they are now saying get a full time job because we're not paying rent after my lease is up. So they'll let me go homeless rather than see my growth and change that would allow me to live there again peacefully. I know there's a lot of scar tissue but I'm their daughter for Christ Sake!!! I also suffer from an anxiety disorder accompanied by viscous panic attacks, as well as borderline personality disorder. Yup, I'm totally screwed. I also am a cancer survivor so I have a LOT of medical problems that make me sick all the time because I am immune compromised. So living on the streets would most definitely kill me. On top of being bipolar I am utterly and completely alone. No friends, now no family. And I'm suffering both emotionally and physically because of it. I've stopped eating and have lost 30 pounds in 5 months. I mean I wanted to lose weight, but not this way. I'm so alone and it's killing me. I've relapsed twice since getting out of the hospital and living in this hell hole by trying to commit suicide. It didn't work because SOMETHING, something DEEP, DEEP down inside of me, to the very core of my mind and sole told me that what I was doing was not what I wanted to do. I did not want to die. So doesn't that mean SOMETHING??? Doesn't it mean that somehow there is....hope? Although it seems that the suffering will never end, something told me not to give up. Not to give into the darkness. To make myself throw up the bottle pills. Anyways, if you find this not totally boring or stupid, please respond. I need your help if you will give it. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Hi and a warm welcome to the forum from me, Alex! I hope you'll find it to be as welcoming and supportive a place as I have. I'm so sorry to hear about everything you've gone through and the lack of support from your family at a time when I presume you need them the most. I can only imagine how hard that must be.

I'm so glad you changed your mind about attempting suicide, but if you've been suicidal then that to me suggests you may need more help from your psychiatrist to stabilise your mood, and prevent you relapsing again. Please reach out for the help you need.

Of course people here will do their best to give you the emotional support you're lacking but I'm wondering if there are any other forms of support you can access in real life, for example, a psychiatrist, therapist, psychiatric nurse or face-to-face support group? I'd try to draw on all the resources you can.

Sending you lots of hugs and positive thoughts, if wanted. My heart goes out to you and I hope things improve for you soon x

Hey, i hope your doing ok and you find some support in real life as well. If you can find some sort of therapist that would help for sure.

I also have bipolar, bpd and Gad so you're not alone on that aspect and I would be happy to talk if you'd like

Welcome aboard! You'll find a lot of support here.

eterea107 wrote:Welcome aboard! You'll find a lot of support here.

This is an understatement This is one of the top communities on the internet. Take it from a guy who has been a part of many, many communities online. Welcome! ^o^