What does your psychotic mania look like?

Just curious.. so see how I compare. I haven't been truely full blown manic in a while. But we've been talking about some of my past episodes in therapy so thought I would throw some things out.

There was one time I saw a circle that I could only see in the sun with other circles and lines in it. I only saw it a couple times but I liked to think it was another universe and we could be one of those circles and someone else seeing the same thing. Is that a delusion or hallucination? Never told anyone about that but wonder what my doc would say about it..

Thanks for the replies, hopefully we all can learn a little something!

Sounds like a little of both.

Experiences I could mention include seeing flashes of light; seeing odd lights, or faces, appear out of the darkness while laying in bed; seeing objects move or change size and shape; hearing screams or music that isn't there; obsessive compulsive thoughts that seem like someone projecting their thoughts into my head, or possibly something related to demonic possession (which I still think is a possible explanation)...

Other hallucinations could be considered hypnagogic or hypnopompic, so might not count. Also might not count, but occurring around the same time: higher than usual incidence of false awakenings and lucid dreaming.

Disossication and self-harm.

Not necessarily with psychosis: Heavy drinking and engaging in very risky and stupid activities (such as reckless driving or walking through dangerous areas). Pacing, hitting, throwing and breaking things. Yelling and talking to self.

Not sure if these experiences count as what one would call psychotic mania though. But I feel like it's close at the very least. Also not really sure if have had full-blown mania or hypomania or what. Haven't really discussed everything with health providers.

I have seen people right in my face with great detail and nobody else could see them.
I hear voices clearly.
I think people are trying to kill me.

I get paranoid delusions. I hear things, see things, smell things. things get bright.

I have delusions, hear things ( a little bit), and it's been so severe to the point that I have had ongoing visual hallucinations overtime, off and on.

Could I ask a question? Are you, during such states, aware that these things only happen inside your heads?

MistaBobDobalina wrote:seeing objects move or change size and shape; hearing screams or music that isn't there; obsessive compulsive thoughts that seem like someone projecting their thoughts into my head

Jellybeanery wrote:I hear voices clearly.
I think people are trying to kill me.

bipolar123 wrote:I hear things, see things, smell things. things get bright.

I mean - people with paranoid schizophrenia can hear voices and, as far as I know (but can be wrong), cannot distinguish between reality and delusions. Can you? Can you say (while being in such episode) that even though you hear/see things that they are not real?

How long have you got?
So many hallucinations and delusions.
My last one was watching real grass grow up the side of my TV. This is part of an ongoing connection with grass. Had had the same problem in Hospital - so I thought I had brought the seeds back home in my clothes!
Then there is 'Chester' an American lunchtime talkshow I create perfectly and watch in my head. I also created and filmed a 15mins interview with Adolf Hiler, filmed on early colour film - all perfect all in my head. I also found a missing set of postcards of 1819 Paris - all 27 of them. And thats just a beginning.
As to your other question - I am aware of them as they happen and do go some lengths to establish if they are real. At the time they are but they all dissolve over time.

I have discussed this with my therapist. I am usually quite self-aware. My kids have noticed something and I agree with them.
I also get fixated on things and "stuck in a loop."

That is when I see my Psychiatrist.

iate wrote:Could I ask a question? Are you, during such states, aware that these things only happen inside your heads?

Jellybeanery wrote:I hear voices clearly.
I think people are trying to kill me.

I mean - people with paranoid schizophrenia can hear voices and, as far as I know (but can be wrong), cannot distinguish between reality and delusions. Can you? Can you say (while being in such episode) that even though you hear/see things that they are not real?

They seem very real to me. Only after I bring it up to others am I aware that it only happened in my head.

It looks ugly and scary to be quite honest. I get elaborate delusions, often with hyper religiosity, hyper sexuality and paranoia; and visual, audio and olfactory hallucinations. I also get extremely agitated and, sometimes, violent- which is extremely out of character for me. The works, basically! The psychosis always seems very real to me at the time, and it's only once I've had my meds changed and I come down from the mania that I can see just how far into it I'd got. After each episode (I've had 3 or 4 psychotic ones so far), I usually undergo a stage of disbelief at just how ill I've got, and it shakes me up massively.