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is this bi-polar or schizo?

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is this bi-polar or schizo?

Postby d-vade » Thu May 17, 2007 2:41 am

hi i went 3 months without meds and one day, i went psychotic again but it was so fun heres what happened:

my illness has changed from when it first started. like i said i dont hear voices anymore. but last time i got psychotic. i'd go into town and sing rap music on the top of my lungs. i'd do it for a couple of hours but one day the cops picked me up and brought me to the hospital. also around that time i could barely sleep i felt so high and good. i'm also questioning if that isn't more of a bi-polar type psychosis? or maybe even schizoaffective? even though the psychatrists have me down as a schizophrenic because i used to hear voices. also that week i went out and bought new clothes and glasses. blew like $100 in 3 days. during that epsidoe my libido increased significantly.

so now i'm in the ward. and i start tripping again. i keep listening and singing the music. then i watch nba basketball and start rapping my own raps while watching the game. i think that the players can hear what im saying and they thought my rhymes are dope. also i tell them how to play ball better, so i'm welling at the tv and saying things like, you gota stay calm, you gota get more arc on that shot and on and on. and i think i can telephatically communicate with these players. i think im so awsome (grandiose). then i start thinking certain people might want to kill me because im so famous. i think that i can telephathically communicate with the whole world. i think im amazing and the world knows it! then i invision 2pac and biggie up in heaven. and i think that 2pac is talking to biggie and sayin things like this kid is dope. biggie says someone might want to kill this kid because his one of a kind. 2pac says "naw dogg this kid aint gonna die know way" but biggie is like i dont know dogg. and meanwhile i invision eminem in his home in detroit going like ###$ dont kill this kid. somenights id just rap to eminem and think he can hear the whole thing and his like those are good rhymes. but he goes and pukes in his bathroom and pukes cuz his worried that i might die. then im convinced that im an angel and that if i die north korea will eventually blow up this world. i have this vision that in the year 2012 on CNN it like"today north korea released its first nuke on china. they say eventually the devistation can be felt world wide." then i have one regret i wish this world would have never invented guns and bombs. and i think that im an angel in the sky and once this whole world blows up everyone has a chance. im one of a few angels that decide wheather you go to heaven and hell. i think that most basketball and tennis players will come to heaven. the catch is that everyone gets a chance to tell the angels what they think went wrong with the world last time. and then the ones that went to heaven will eventually find another planet similar to earth to settle on. and some will go to hell, ironically i thought most of christian america will go to hell. where they will be punished by satan relentlessly.

anyway this was about 70% of my episode. i've never experienced anything like it where i felt so high and energized and everything was so vivid. i enjoyed ejaculated so much and my libido was high. now im on such a high dose of meds. i cant really feel anything but i dont trip out anymore all that lasted about 2 to 3 weeks. also when all this happened i was going to partys and people really liked the vibe i was creating, i was talkative and stuff. people have never liked me that much my whole life!does that sound like schizophrenic or bi-polar episode? also i want to seek alternative treatments and methods.

the whole time i was having so much fun. people noticed that i was laughing and happy alot.
d-vade
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Postby d-vade » Thu May 17, 2007 6:36 pm

also a couple of other things. i remember that 2pac ways so sad to be in heaven. he felt like life on earth was so much better. hed get on his knees and hand and hed slam his hands on the clouds to come back to earth. biggie was more laid back but once i told 2pac there was a way to come back to earth hed get on his knees and put his hands together and beg the same way. i said to 2pac their was a way. if nas and ashanti had a baby (2 other rap singers) or even eminen and ashanti then he would be reincarnated. ashanti would laugh at this idea. one night i concentrated entirly on ashanti. i invisioned her at her mansion, she was hanging out with a bunch of friends and they where all cracking up at my rhymes. ashanti was running around pretty much naked with her black lingerie. she was so hot and that night i had sex with her in her bedroom.

i also had this thing going on with maria sharpova (famous female tennis player). shed laugh as id sing to her songs on my mp3 player (sting, kid rock, eagles, phil collins). anyway often shed tell me "mike your so funny" with her russian acsent.

then i picked out 7 girlfriends that i had to get. i was so sure i was gonna get with these people eventually. i had them picked out in order from 0-7. i had it all planed if i got one id get the other. maria was like number 5 ashanti was 7. the rest where mostly local girls. everynight i fantisized with being with one of them. it was so realistic when i did this, it was like they where right their. my imagniation was so real.

about being the angel part. i thought i was because my name is michael. and when i was 1 i was baptised at a russian orthadox church. anyway im only one and i took the candle from the priest and everybody gropped and awed like this is amazing. so i thought i was a bit special.

also the part about being so cool, talkative and making lots of new friends. i got 7 new telephone numbers within a week. id hang out with these people and get their numbers. these are cool chill people to hang out with. but since being on meds i dont feel up for it.

in addition to the singing i'd be dancing as well. i'd say anything to anybody!

still does that episode sound schizophrenic or bi-polar?
d-vade
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