meds vs no meds?

i have been having troubles now for about 3 years. i started hearing voices 3 years ago. but then i dont know what happened, wheather being on the meds or something happened and i stopped hearing voices. even when i came off the meds for 3 months i didn't hear voices anymore. but i went psychotic probeblly due to the fact that i started smoking pot and drinking alcohol.

my illness has changed from when it first started. like i said i dont hear voices anymore. but last time i got psychotic. i'd go into town and sing rap music on the top of my lungs. i'd do it for a couple of hours but one day the cops picked me up and brought me to the hospital. also around that time i could barely sleep i felt so high and good. i'm also questioning if that isn't more of a bi-polar type psychosis? or maybe even schizoaffective? even though the psychatrists have me down as a schizophrenic because i used to hear voices.

its a toss up. for me their seems to be benefits with taking meds and not taking meds. with meds i feel more comfortable around people especially large groups of people. when i was without meds for those 3 months i'd feel a bit uncomfortable around lots of people. i think its because i'm afraid of how they will judge me and wonder if they can tell that im mentally ill or not? on meds i dont really think of that too much.

the main thing i dont like about taking meds is that i feel physically sluggish. i can't play sports anymore. i mean i probeblly can but i dont enjoy it anymore because i remember how good i could play tennis and basketball before and now i can barely move around! i mean tennis was my life before. i'm now 23 but when i was a teenager i coached tennis for 3 years. so if i got off meds i could play sports again and my body would feel healthier and fitter.

plus i like to play chess a lot. but on meds im not nearly as good or sharp as i used to be before. my rating has dropped a bit. and im only able to play chess a few times a day as where before i could play it all day.

i think the meds help with stress though. i went to school 2 years ago while i was off meds and the stress caused me to experience pychosis so i dropped out. if i do stay on the meds i want to go back to school in the fall. although i find that when i read i forget most of what i read. and thats another thing on the meds i feel like i lose my memory (i heard that this is common) and have no emotions. that also kinda sucks!

anyway what do you guys think am i schizophrenic, schizoaffective or bi-polar? what would be a more beneficial lifestyle for me on meds or without meds?

I would go back to your psychiatrist and figure out what is going on. It might take him more than one or two visits to get a feel for the thing. It could just be a reaction to your meds, or one of your meds. Or it could be that you are not properly diagnosed yet? Only your psych will know for sure.

The answer to your question should be between you and your doctor. However, I would like to add my two sense. A few of us bipolars do not take meds, and we do OK. I stopped taking meds for bipolar many years ago, but I do many things to cope with my mood swings. I get help from exercise, self-help groups, gardening, writing in a journal, and mediating. Many people would be too busy with their lives to do these things to the extend that they are necessary to live without meds. It takes little time to just take a few pills every day. I choose to not take meds; they caused me major side effects. I felt half asleep all the time. I gained over 100 pounts, so of course anything that was physical was not an option for me.

My web site gives details about all that I've done to survive without meds for decades.

Good Luck,
Jim S

my doctor put me on a mood stabilizer and an antipsychotic. right now im on 300mg seroquel and 400mg tergetol. which one is more important the seroquel or tergetol? i want to take something for a bit but not everything.