Explaining bipolar to a new boyfriend...

Hi all. I'm new here and looked for a board specifically because of an issue I'm having. I'm a 30yr old female, got divorced about 7 months ago and have been seeing someone for the last 6 months. We went away Sunday night to Monday and I did not take my evening pills -- stupid I know. I have a very hard time swallowing pills and usually hide my pills in a soft food. We didn't have anything in the hotel room and it was late so I just went to bed.

Monday evening I was a little emotional about something and he texted me saying "missing your pills last night catching up to you now?" I was devastated. Am I overreacting that this was a very hurtful/ignorant thing to say?? I felt like a freak -- Like I can't be upset about anything because I'm bipolar and it has to be related to that and not just being a "normal" human.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks all,
Juniper

Hello,

big hugs if wanted.

Obviously I don't know what "a little emotional" is. But yes, this message strikes me as very hurtful. Did you discuss the illness with him? Has he done any research? Some people do imagine that pills either do nothing and we just take them for fun or that without pills we'll immediately turn into some sort of angry chainsaw zombies.

It is unfortunate but true that there are some people who can't quite understand that a person with BP may actually experience emotions that are not related to medication. I think it would be good to clear this ASAP with him. It might have been a spectacularly misfired joke.

Hey Juniper,

Without sounding like I'm being dismissive or taking sides...I'm curious how much he knows about your mental health and how much he's actually been privy to how Bipolar does or doesn't choreograph your life?

Was his comment flippant or was it potentially misconstrued?

I can fully appreciate how it feels to be made to feel as if you're overreacting btw and sympathise with you massively.

However I'm still curious about his general demeanor within your relationship towards your Bipolar?

Thinking of you.

X

The way I would take his words to mean would have me hurt. Everybody has given you great advice.

Btw, I do, (more times than I should) forget to take my evening pills too. I now carry them in my purse in a little container that can hook to your keychain. My husband laughs at me because I have two of them (I take soo many pills! ) and they are labeled A.M. and P.M. Two containers. I tell him, "It's so that I don't forget to take them, and so I'll always have them on me".

Yes, his words, "missing your pills last night catching up to you now?" was really thoughtless of him. No doubt about that. And it's hard sometimes to explain to others because I've found that some people sort of close their ears off and just stand there looking at me and they "don't get it" anyway. So, I'd really push for you to gently let him know in very thorough wording how it made you feel and to please hear you out to your correct explanation of the disorder. Good luck.

Thanks everyone. After talking to him, I think his comment came from ignorance. I'm not sure why he hasn't done some research on BP but we talked a little about it. I am trying to be okay with it but we definitely need to have a serious discussion about it in more depth, and soon!