I'm back after psychotic episode

Three months ago I was admitted to hospital (again) with a mixed mood psychosis. This time I actually had hallucinations and delusions.

It was brought about after I went to a new psychologist who convinced me I had PTSD and NOT bipolar and gave me trauma therapy. The trauma therapy actually made my mood disorder worse and I became obsessed with these past life events being traumas (they are not). When I got worse I went to her for help and she said that I was on a lot of drugs and could take less.

I didn't follow her recommendations and consulted my psychiatrist instead, but the doubt was there. I had a medical check up which indicated a long QT interval (heart) which can be fatal and can be caused by the medications I was on. When I had this exam I abruptly stopped my seroquel (I had already reduced it from 600mg to 200mg), which caused the episode. Because then my sleep was disrupted I forgot when to take my lithium as well.

When I got admitted it was because I thought my husband was my ex (ten years ago) and I tried to kick him out of the house and called the police. I got the reputation of being 'non-compliant', even though I have always cooperated. I got labelled as 'aggressive' even though I never tried to hurt anybody, but I was scared and paranoid and wouldn't let anyone near me.

I was very angry about all of this. Where was the compassion, the care and support?
At least my doctor was excellent and there were a FEW nurses who were also excellent.
Over the next six weeks of recovery I played the hospital piano every day to cheer up the other patients. Since I play very well, the nurses appreciated it as well, and I noticed that their treatment of me improved and was much in comparison to how some of the others were treated. The worst treated were people of other races and people with intellectual disability.

I'm recovering at home now and I'm well looked after but I have lost some cognitive ability, which I hope will come back again. I'm on a lot of medication now and I take it every day, hopefully there will not be a circumstance under which I'll be convinced that I don't need medication or I don't have bipolar.

I'm not going to psychology for now. I guess I've done it all already. It's hard to know whether I will ever get back to having a career again, or if I will be able to start a family, but right now I'm happy if I manage to cook my own meals.

The psychologist was right about one thing - there was one traumatic situation - the point at which I realised I was really sick. I had a lot of demands on me at the time that for the first time in my life I couldn't cope with. And, at that time, I had no support.

I have to sign off. I'm already an hour late for medication.