Sister's wedding today.... so many people!

Hi all,
I am sitting here tried to muster all the courage I have to get on with today. It's my sister's wedding, she named me maid of honor , and I have absolutely scared to death right now. There are about 100 coming, and now I have to be around so many people. I kind of want to crawl into a corner and hide. Last night was her rehearsal dinner party, and as the evening went a bridesdmaid came up to to ask, "Are you ok? You like like you're going to have a panic attack."
I just have to smile and say I'm ok, when what I really want to say is "I'm scared to death! I'm shy in social situations anyways. Now I have to force myself to put on a happy face all day long. I need my medication badly, but I can't take anything because I want another baby. So no, I'm really not ok!"

I hope today goes by quickly! And then I feel guilty as hell saying that, it's my sister's special day I should be enjoying it.

Hi pisces mama.

I'm sorry you are feeling so much tension and anxiety. Weddings are meant to be happy occasions. Maybe that's a false expectation. All the stress of getting into some really uncomfortable clothes and putting on a party face, regardless of how you feel. All the rivalries and family tension seething under the surface.

I wish it was a week before the wedding, and you had a chance to see a doctor. My doctor once gave me a 4 pill sample pack of Xanax for single incedents of anxiety. It was really powerful. You can't take it regularly because it is addictive. But no help wishing for what we can't have. We have to get through life today as it is.

I don't want to sound trite, but encourage you to put all your problems aside, and see that your sister has a good day. She is under as much pressure and expectations as you, and it isn't easy for her either. You two can really bond as you look out for each other. Of course the day is hers, and you need to not attract any extra attention.

I hope the day goes quickly for you and you are able to kick off your shoes, sit in an armchair and say "I got through it. It wasn't that bad."

If you are a mama already, maybe your child, or children can give you an extra share of love.
They are so vulnerable and have a special way of loving us, even when our worlds are falling apart.

Take care,