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New symptom, changes in symptoms?

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New symptom, changes in symptoms?

Postby Bipolarinaz » Fri Aug 15, 2014 3:43 am

I had my first Auditory and Visual hallucination, not due to a medication issue.
It started on Tuesday around 11-11:30 p.m.
It lasted almost 7hours from start to finish. I started off felling very paranoid, thinking my neighbors where planning to come in my house. Then i felt really disconnected. Then the auditory hallucinations started. I could hear my neighbors at my fence, then a thumping like someone was digging by the side of my house. Then I started to hear moaning and screaming outside. My cat made a noise, I think anyway. I freaked out and curled up in the corner of my kitchen hiding behind a chair. I was crying and I wiped my face and looked at the floor to see hands coming thru it. I was petrified, stuck in the corner trying to get as small as possible. The screaming and moaning was getting louder and louder, all I could do was cry. When the hands finally stopped reaching for me through the kitchen floor at about 6 a.m. Wednesday. I retreated to my bedroom. I stayed there till mid morning, fell asleep for an hour then woke up. I called my case worker and told her what had happened. She came for a home visit to make sure I was safe. Then basically said hang on till Monday, when I have an appointment with a new doctor assigned to me.

I've been hearing "things" for a few weeks, but its mainly odd noises, or thinking someone has said something when they haven't. This was so much more than that, I was terrified. I've always been paranoid about random stuff, but its starting to get worse. I'm having more and more trouble leaving my house. After to long out I start to get agitated and want to be home again. I'm still trying to have people over but that is getting more difficult. I've been very paranoid since yesterday morning and that hasn't subsided. I kept my talk with my case manager vague, and haven't been forthcoming with what happened fully to my SO. I'm worried I'll be sent to the hospital again.

My agitation and anger is getting worse too. I yelled at my SO for making breakfast one morning. I even yell at him in public for doing stuff that I used to find cute, annoying, but cute. I'm starting to isolate just so I'm not getting mad at people. I also have this thought that SO is cheating on me while he's out of town for work. I spent a whole evening convinced he was cheating, looked through all of his emails and questioned his time spent during the day when he wasn't texting or on the phone with me.

I'm also making plans for our life and trying to change things that might be better left alone. I've been doing some risky behaviors, mainly with sex, multiple partners and such. Also spending some money I shouldn't, even if not in excess is still frivolous.

Even though my sleep schedule is all over the place, from not sleeping, sleeping a few hours, sleeping for two days, back to only sleeping an hour or two at a time. but I don't feel the normal level of manic that I'm used to. I'm awake, but I'm not doing anything and having a hard time doing with any focus.

I'm starting to feel numb, not manic, depressed, mad, sad, happy, or horny.
Just kind of blank, disconnected almost.

I dont know whats going on with me.
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Bipolarinaz
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