having to take Lithium from here on until the day I die

There is no going around it, I have to take lithium for the rest of my life. I am starting to feel so good I do seriously wonder if I even need to take it. Still, I know I would panic if I started to feel depressed again, believing it to be an everyday occurrence once again. But for the most part it's been a few months where I feel stable and "normal" again. As close to normal as I'll ever be.

It just freaks me out to think that for the rest of my life until the day I die, I must take the designated dosage of two pills per day of lithium and the accompanying meds. Is this how you view you and your meds? Just the thought freaking you out?

I started taking lithium few months ago and I feel so stable right now. I'm so happy that I have finally found medication that works, so I am willing to take my lithium for the rest of my life

This is not meant to be sarcastic but you may actually find out one day that lithium stopped working and you have to go through medication dance again and wish you never had to stop it...

I got used to my medication very easily. I have an illness -- that bit I have a problem with because I want to fix myself and I can't. But in the meantime I am doing all I can to maintain myself in usable shape and that involves taking pills. I approach my body as if it were a motorbike. You have to change oil regularly, clean it up and refill fuel every so many miles in a motorbike. Surely you wouldn't think "oh no, I bought a broken motorbike, I have to refill gas all the time"

Be very careful with that "I feel so good now I don't need the pills" feeling -- that's exactly the sign they work. Don't let a passing hypomania throw you into the other side of the pit where you stop taking those pills. There live demons.

Big hug and I hope it gets easier with time.

There are lots of other mood stabilizers out there! I couldn't take lithium because it triggered migraine headaches, and I live in the sticks and can't get blood tests conveniently. Also, I'm afraid of needles so the tests weren't getting done anyway. Taking lithium like that is dangerous, so I had to find something else.

You probably will have to take meds for life, like all of us, but you do have options.

I haven't had much experience with mood stabilizers other than Lamictal/Lamotrigine. That by itself was not enough, but I was only diagnosed as Severely Depressed. Lithium worked so fast at stabilizing me and it didn't have any side effects either, which is good because I couldn't wait much longer. I was suicidal and had very recently attempted suicide. Part of me is hesitant to try something else, especially this early on. I've been on it maybe for 3 months or longer. I am afraid that it would take too long to start working on me or I could get worse in the meantime while we fiddle around with medicines only to find out that that one doesn't work on me.

But again, part of me feels so good I can't believe I could have ever felt so bad. Part of me enjoys feeling so good and "feeling" again that I would like to be free without pills. But yes, I realize I must still be faithful in taking my pills because there is no guarantee I would be fine without them and I could return to where I was at and that was a very bad place.

Yes, I hear that for some people it's the magic bullet. It didn't really work for me though, even when I was taking it.

I take fifty percent more lamotrigine than you, and it took that much to bring the moods to the point where they weren't dominating my will. It is scary to mess with the meds, I always go through a tornado whenever I change it in any direction. My partner doesn't want me noodling around anymore, for the sake of his own sanity. God knows it's hard enough on him, he has the patience of a saint.

It is scary to mess with the meds, I always go through a tornado whenever I change it in any direction.

Same here. I don't change them either. I did that in the past and it was awful for me. It seemed at times that I barely made it. I needed to have medicine in me, so the weaning off and slowly starting up a new one was so hard. I'm referring to antidepressants. The mood stabilizers stayed the same amount or were increased.

I still view my meds the same way you do. I hate them, I don't want to take them, I can't stand the fact that I'll probably have to take them for the rest of my life! But... I can't live without them. I keep hoping that given enough time I'll eventually accept all this. But for now, I still hate them every single day, I still throw them at the wall a few times. But I still take them.

I really don't know what else to tell you. I really think giving it time is the only option here. And for me it's not because it's lithium! It could be anything else, it's the thought of "for the rest of my life just so I can function like a normal person" that bothers me. Before my diagnosis I was on ADs and it didn't bother me as much, mainly because I knew it was temporary.