Introducing myself *trigger warning?*

Hello everybody my name is Robert and I'm a 19 year old guy from the Cleveland, Ohio area. I'm African and Native American (tribally enrolled Saponi), with European ancestry. I love reading and researching things, my particular academic interest are Meteorology, Anthropology, History, Physics, Astronomy, Biology, Environmental Science, Ecology, Psychology, Psychiatry, and more. I love music, but especially Punk Rock, Hardcore, and Rap. I am also Bisexual. Recently I've been seeing a psychologist for very bad Hypochondriasis and OCD behaviors. She has been corresponding with a psychiatrist for awhile now, that I'm suppose to be seeing on the 26th of this month, and she told me that I have Bipolar type II and OCD and she said that the psychiatrist that she has been corresponding with agrees and will confirm that at our first appointment, and I will finally be able to start with medication. My mother's father's family has Depression, Anxiety (GAD? and OCD?), Autism/possible Asperger's, and some folks also dealt with psychosis but I'm not sure if that was caused by Bipolar or something else. My mother's mother family deals with Bipolar, Schizophrenia, Anxiety, Depression, alcohol, and drug abuse. So with all of that running in my family and having a messed up life I'm not surprised at all by these diagnoses. I also have ADHD. My mother has Bipolar, ADD, and possible GAD and Asperger's. Since I was a little kid I also had a problem with OCD, ADHD, mood swings, but everybody just thought I was just a wild little kid with ADHD lol. But as I got older I started to deal with more things such as long term suicidal depressions, hypomanic epsiodes, and worse Anxiety (specifically OCD related). I also dealt with a lot of bullying between 5th and 8th grade, but sometimes before and after those grades, just not as much, so that just made things worse in my life. And on top of that, I've always felt like an outcast, and I've always had problems in school. I've been wanting to see a psychologist/psychiatrist for a long time, I knew that I had all of those disorders since about the age of 15, but I never had the guts to speak about it, until my anxiety problems started to get too much for me earlier this summer. Recently my anxiety has been going down a lot, specifically health anxiety wise, but I'm still dealing with some intrusive thoughts here and there. The main problems that I've been having are mood swings between normal mood to depressed, but it kinda seems more like mood swings between kinda depressed and really depressed. I sometimes don't even know what a normal mood feels like. I've been getting in an increase in suicidal thoughts recently. On the bright side, despite all the problems my family has, they are not abusive and they are very loving and caring. I have a good group of friends, that I hang out and party with a lot. I even have some very close friends that I talk to a lot about my personal problems. My biggest problem right now is the feeling that I will never find love. I will live my life lonely, rejected, and sexually frustrated. But hey, that's me. Thanks for taking the time to read this everybody. In general I feel like an outcast in this world, I sometimes feel as if I don't belong, and a lot of people who know me wouldn't care, or at least care that much if I was gone. Anyways that's the condensed story of me, thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope that you all are doing well.

Hi and welcome

Thank you for introducing yourself to us. I really hope that specialist input helps you with all that you are struggling with and that they can get things stable for you. You seem to have a lot of interests which is great and I find that having things to get into can be good for getting your mind away from illness stuff I am glad you have good family and friends

So anyhow welcome and I hope you like it here

Hugs

Cracked

Hi there! Nice to meet another openly bi guy. Almost everyone bi is in the closet about it, for good reason: gay people want you to be gay, and straight people want you to "make up your mind."

I have the same kind of Renaissance interests in tons of different things, science, art, literature, languages. It makes it hard to select a major

Hi there, welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing. You're definitely not alone and you will probably find yourself fitting in well here. I've never felt like an outcast here.

Anyway, we have a great deal in common. I'm also from Ohio (Cincinnati), of mixed race (Native American too! Different tribes though), bipolar, and bisexual. Oh and I have a family history of mental illness not far from your own family history. When I was diagnosed, no one in my mothers family was surprised.

I'm really sorry that you've been having a rough time lately and I'm sorry that you were ever bullied. That's horrible and no one should have to go through it.

It sounds like even though things are challenging, you're on the right path. I hope the doctor you see is able to help you find some stable ground to stand on and that your anxiety improves. Once you take care of yourself in that respect I'm sure you'll find it easier to create and maintain relationships, and you won't feel as lonely anymore.

Wishing you the best,
Brainy

Oh yes, I should mention that I'm also mixed race (in my case, Yorkshire Viking and North African Arab), which leaves me with a kind of nondescript unidentifiable Mediterranean look. People think I'm Spanish.

I know how you feel. I've been diagnosed as having Aspergers and bipolar as well. I can sometimes feel like the loneliest person on earth. And to make matters worse, my original psychiatrist I went to demurred that I was bipolar and pretty much made me sound like I was a hypochondriac. I have found that the lithium has made a world of difference. My advice: stay knowledgeable about your possible diagnoses and go elsewhere if you believe you aren't being treated well. I got a second opinion and that warranted me getting kicked out of the clinic I had gone to for four years. I go back Monday to talk about their actions and problems Monday. They did not take me seriously when not taking me seriously was what I needed most. Their actions were most unprofessional. Anyways, I hope it's easier for you. I'm here if you need me.