Relationship between two people with BP - thoughts?

Hi everyone:

New to the forum. I'm wondering if anyone has any thoughts on the topic of romantic relationships between two people with BP.

I'm 32 and I have built a great life for myself outside of my mental health struggles. When I think of finding a partner and sharing my situation, i often think it will inevitably have to be someone who has a mental health struggle themselves or knows someone very close to them who does.

Just wondering what you guys think. Experiences, thoughts, mistakes (lol)?

Thanks

Nobody is ever going to agree on this subject but I'd rather be with someone who has something similar to what I have. Someone that might possibly have the potential to understand me but whatever you do, for the love of god don't date an aspie, I'm not saying it can't work I'm just saying that bipolars and aspies think completely differently.

IMO normal people are boring and dorky. They usually have a disturbing lack of empathy and or passion.

Most bipolar women that I've talked with would never date another bipolar. I get that they want stability but why date someone that in most cases is incapable of understanding you????

I've always thought people were drawn to people most like themselves. I can never understand the 'opposites attract' thing.

I'm all for relationships with other bipolars.
Most of my friends have issues with MI as well. It's one of the reasons we're close. We can support each other and give recommendations to local psychs XD We understand when someone doesn't feel like talking.
However, I would probably never live with someone else who has bipolar, unless both of us were on medications that worked well and we had minimal symptoms. I can just picture someone depressed being under the same roof as someone who's manic. That wouldn't be the greatest of situations.

I would like to find some one also like me. I know at time it can be hard as my ex had her mental issues and i have mine. But i think it would be better to be with someone who can understand and support each other because we are more allike. I also find most normals boring and lead what they call normal lives. I have a hard time understanding that. So assosicating with them is hard. So i say yes to people with mental issues getting together. Been there done that , it just didnt work out because we didnt work at it anymore.

My husband definitely does not have bp and to our best knowledge he has never really had any huge mental issues. But he is very understanding and sensitive person - I think more than most men I've met... I have never had any problems with him not being able to relate to me and he has helped me to cope with being bipolar SO MUCH. I was diagnosed after we had been married for half a year - and been together like three years or so... I had had mental struggles as a teenager and he was always aware of it - I just wasn't diagnosed with bp back then. But I guess I've had it for a long time without the diagnosis and it is part of who I am and how I am. And my husband has learned to love that person...

I had a really bad "break" last January or so, I was hallucinating and had severe depression and stuff. And my husband along with some of my closest friends were the ones to notice that something was wrong and that I needed more help than they could give me and obviously that led for me being diagnosed some time later and getting all the help... He has been so supportive ever since (and even before). We have laughed together about how many "symptoms" he can recognize in me and stuff. But he has also understood me. I guess a lot of it comes to us always having been able to have good communication between us. Straight from the beginning we have always shared a huge part of our lives to each other and talked about how we felt and what had we been doing and all the other stuff... So he kind of knows me and knows who I am (most of the time even better than I do) and I also know him. It has been a really safe and wonderful relationship - I have been so lucky to find him.

But in other relationships I've found out that it helps if the other person has been through some of the same or similar stuff that you have been through... My husband is like the exception being so sensitive and understanding otherwise. I've not found that to be a common feature among people...

I have had many friends during my life, but the only "true" friends who have stayed with me no matter what have been the ones who could understand me better having been through some similar stuff I have been through. My two best friends, one of them is depressed and the other one has bipolar... And we are the best friends ever. It doesn't matter how much time goes by and sometimes someone of us is so ill we haven't been in contact for months but still the same feelings and the same friendship stays. And the understanding between us - well - many of the things that have happened... people who would have not understood would have "fallen of the boat" (and have done that too) if you guys understand what I mean...

And somehow I've always drawn people towards me who have been through mental difficulties or illnesses... Like one of my best friends over the internet that I've been talking to for a year now, she has bp too and we met under completely different circumstances knowing nothing of each other's illnesses... It's pretty comical, but this has happened so many times in my life. It seems like whenever I really get to know somebody and really form a friendship with them I later find out that they have some mental issues too... I guess it has to do with these kind of people being able to understand each other so much better, so it's easier to bond and for relationships with them... Mental issues are also pretty common these days, have to mention that too...

I guess living with somebody who also struggled with bp as much as I do would be pretty challenging though. My husband helps to balance things a bit. Especially now that I'm pregnant and really can't take the most effective drugs. I'm not near being stable and having somebody as unstable as me under the same roof XD. I'm not sure if it would be a disaster or not. Of course there would be a lot of support there, but it is also a good thing that my husband is pretty stable and can manage things when I can not. And thinking about the upcoming child too... I'm pretty sure it is in his best interest that at least one of his parents is not "crazy" and can help the other one to behave herself. That's what my husband does for me all the time, he is the reason I get up most days and he is the reason (along with this little one) that I try my best. He is there to fill in the holes I leave behind when I'm not feeling so good. And I can thank him for so much. He is a great support for me, I don't know how I'd cope without him... And if two people would be experiencing severe depression or mania or something at the same time... I find it hard to see how it would work out... But if you are pretty stable and don't go over to the extremes (= your meds are working and your life situation is in balance) I guess living with somebody else who had bipolar wouldn't be such an issue. And of course I'm starting to look at things from a mother's point of view. I'm considering the (possible) rest of the family too...

Thank you for you responses. Its nice to see that you dont have to be a lonely hermit just because you have BP.

I was diagnosed a year ago, after over a decade of struggling to stay afloat and I seem to have dealt with it best by hidding it away from the world. Im so good at it too. This has caused a lot of loneliness and isolation as i try to appear normal to society and yet struggle with my MH issues in private. Its exhausting.

I suppose I still have some more inner work to do. I have never said outloud to anyone - other than my family and my therapist that i have a BP. Its hard to imagine someone not running away at the sound of those words.

Since I try to reach out, but have the similar feeling that "normal" people cant quite get me, its a great pleasure and release to join the forum and feel free to express myself and my truth in full to those on similar journeys as my own.

Be well.