Advice on Bipolar I boyfriend's manic states

My boyfriend is Bipolar I. Last night he told me that he wanted to see me, but felt that it wasn't wise because he was in a neurotic state and wouldn't be romantic. I have seen him in these states and he is highly anxious, talkative, a tad obnoxious and on edge. Last time I saw him in this state, he felt like he was over stimulated by his sense of smell and could smell many things at once, and became incredibly anxious over little things such as the fear that I would drop my glass of water over the deck banister onto a car in the driveway and became panicked about who's fault it would be. Last night he said he was like this tripled and though he wanted to see me, we should wait.

I did my best to support him during the previous time I saw him like this and to hold him and comfort him. Last night I told him I understood completely and that I was giving him snuggles from far away.

Last Friday he didn't take his medicine and ended up doing cocaine recreationally with one of his friends and he asked if he could come over at 4 in the morning (which I was fine with, I was awake anyways.)

I was wondering if anyone had any advice on what to do when he is in states like this? Should I let him come to me, should I let him know I am still here? He is an incredible wonderful person, so thoughtful and intelligent and introspective and I care for him very much. I told him I did not like his drug use and he said he rarely does it. Should I be concerned? Does this sound like a result of mania?

Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this, I really really appreciate it! *Hugs to all*

Well I can give you a view from the other side. I am the boyfriend that has uncontrolled mood swings. I'm trying to find meds at work, but that takes time. My suggestion is that you let him know what you expect and don't expect. In my opinion allowing him to come over at 4am after a little coke binge when he knows you don't like his drug use is a little enabaling. My girlfriend has set rules and I follow them. As for him saying he doesn't want to see you when manic... Well that can go two ways. Either he is honestly embarrassed about his condition and doesn't want to see you, or he is looking for you to be the one to make the decision to not see him, so he is guilt free to do whatever he pleases.

Either way, sitting down and being firm when he isn't not super manic is probably a good idea.

I am just giving you my view from the other side of the coin. If I was manic and told my girl I didn't want to see her (even thought my sex drive is through the roof) I am probably up to no good.