Psychoactive Words and Words that Break Bones

We've all heard of psycho-active drugs, but are there psychoactive words and phrases.

I was recently brought close to suicide by the use of four words/phrases by a mod on a another website backed by the largest organisation for bipolar people in the UK. *mod edit -- edited website name*

I put a picture up showing some self harm - instead of saying the picture was unsuitable, he said it was evil.

I was very upset and this played upon a declining mood. I got my craft knives out, but instead of self-harming I lashed out on the board with an abusive statement (not directed at any individual) - instead of saying that the statement was rude and unacceptable and giving me a sanction - he called me vicious.

He then accused me of promoting self harm

In the space of 24 hours he called me

evil

vicious

and accused me of

promoting self harm

Now I have got that off my chest. I ask you are there words that can bring you to your knees and trigger episodes of one sort or another or are there words that lift you?

Words can be more harming than anything. I suffer from Separation Anxiety Disorder. Some phrases that trigger me into a mental spiral are anything to do with leaving. If someone I know becomes angry with me (friends or a significant other) and they leave and I can't talk about the problem and fix it right then and there I become obsessive about it. I then put myself in an extreme state of anxiety and can end up with major panic attacks and it could possibly get worse.

One thing that has helped me with things people say triggering me is to realize that my (and maybe your) emotions are more sensitive than others and need to take a second to analyze the situation as calmly as possible. Even if you can't at first, eventually sit down and talk yourself out of it. It's a lot easier said than done but I've been working on it and the more I work on it the better things seem to be getting. Slowly but surely.

Hope this helped in some way.

Thank you, those are wise words, Frazza. It sounds like you have overcome amazing challenges in maintaining your key relationships.

I have managed to calm myself down enough not to pursue the matter with *website name edited*, at least without the support of another mental health organisation, because I instinctively know that I would loose and that would be life threatening for me. Of all people a person running a site for Bipolar sufferers should have known these words could harm. Mind you I must admit to meeting some real muppets who were also mental health care pros.

Oh I most definitely understand why those words would trigger you. And it blows my mind that someone would say that who does run a website like that. But, we can't control what other people say but we can try to control how we react to it regardless of how ignorant and hurtful it is. But you being upset about that is 100% understandable and that person just obviously did not know how to control the situation correctly and in a calm manner.

I'm sorry I had to edit your posts 600cell -- hope this doesn't trigger you (no sarcasm, honest concern).

As a mod I have to play devil's advocate here. Mod team here -- don't know about the other site -- are people with their own mental problems. We have good days and bad days. We make mistakes (I speak for myself really). Some of us aren't native speakers; some of us have spouses, day jobs, kids. Those things happen. I'm very sorry they happened to you.

I believe if a moderator was acting this way towards you here, the course of action would be to report the mod higher up (say, to a red moderator) quoting the phrases used. Again, I speak only for myself, but if I was made aware that things I wrote triggered a member heavily, I would be shocked, apologise profusely and remember for all eternity NOT to repeat the action. Therefore I think it would be a good idea for you to report what happened and why it happened, maybe less with a goal of getting "revenge" but more as information. This mod may be hurting more people.

When it comes to words and my bones, it depends on who's saying what. I learned that opinions of some people don't matter. If a drunk on the street shouts behind me "you're ugly", I'm going to chuckle and move on with my business. But if my boyfriend tells me "you're ugly" I'm going to be absolutely devastated.

Big hugs. I hope you are feeling safe here. If not -- report!

I appreciate what you had to do. Nothing controversial should go up without the opportunity for reply and only if this remains civilised and has the aim of resolution. I was so hurt that I forgot this basic tenet of good governance. I also don't expect perfection and I apologise for any embarrassment.

The problem is that there is this lone professional mod and I would be complaining to his colleagues. I've had to do this with some unspecified local mental health services and they closed ranks despite quite obvious poor practice. Records were altered and my words radically misrepresented. On one occasion in another country I was manhandled from the hospital onto the street because my then partner unwisely and against my will complained about them (I hope this is OK). I already have the burden of my illness, without having professionals close ranks and cast more aspersions, which despite the fact that there are very many more highly professional and effective services with staff with great integrity, can happen.

I am worried about this unspecified site in an unspecified country. It was like Stepford Wives there. Every Bipolar person I have met has been amazingly interesting, but it was quiet as a church there. I am not a trouble maker but I know what I think and I am not shy about expressing it even while zonked on meds. I wonder if anyone remotely difficult gets filtered out, perhaps by their own choice.

I am okay. I understand the position that mods are in. I realise I may have sailed close to the wind here but I think these things needed saying. Please leave it up if you can.

Of course -- you haven't said anything wrong.

Wow! I read your post and all of the comments that followed! Great post and great follow-ups. I was just 15 min ago triggered by something someone close to me said - and then I saw the follow-ups that suggested taking time to consider both the comment and my reaction.

Thanks for all of the good words here - the original post 600cell, and the responses. I certainly feel better! (I especially liked the part that said that You (I in this case) may be more sensitive than the speaker of the comment. In my world growing up "sensitive" is a put down but when you think of the opposite - insensitive, I guess that I would much rather be the former!!

Self-harm is not a good solution to insensitivity I guess. (For me anyway).

Words can absolutely hurt more than anything. I will never forget one time that I was in the ER feeling extremely suicidal (and I might have self injured but I can't remember) I was balling my eyes out and the crisis clinician came in, looked at me and said, "There's nothing I can do to help you." and walked right back out. I'm surprised I didn't kill myself right then and there because I was at one of the lowest points in my life and this woman was heartless. I will never forget this.

((hugs)) to you and your difficult experience. As Oliviera stated, hopefully that person was just having a bad time of it. I'm glad you're still here with us.

Cheze2 wrote:Words can absolutely hurt more than anything. I will never forget one time that I was in the ER feeling extremely suicidal (and I might have self injured but I can't remember) I was balling my eyes out and the crisis clinician came in, looked at me and said, "There's nothing I can do to help you." and walked right back out. I'm surprised I didn't kill myself right then and there because I was at one of the lowest points in my life and this woman was heartless. I will never forget this.

((hugs)) to you and your difficult experience. As Oliviera stated, hopefully that person was just having a bad time of it. I'm glad you're still here with us.

Your experience sounds much worse than mine. I'm so glad that you had the strength to come through it. You really should be proud of that.

It's strange how some medical personnel can be. One time in a hospital I was under constant pressure from my then partner to discharge myself. I eventually found a way of 'escaping' although I didn't want to go home. When I went back the staff behaved like spoilt children. They couldn't understand that we have to hold lives together as well as submit to treatment.

Until recently self harm and attempted suicide seemed to be regarded as manipulative behaviour. In the last 10 years things seemed to have been changing.

You have taught me that I must armour myself against the snappishness of some medical and para-medical staff. I hope you never have to go through that again.

**hugs**