Anyone: Bipolar + Borderline?

Wow, a lot of responses! I appreciate all of your words and it's all helped me a lot! I hate only picking a few sentences to respond to because all of the sentences have been helpful and amazing. :)

Lanka wrote:I know my BP side, I can feel the cycle, or realize if it makes sudden changes after few days. Like now I'm apparently cycling at about couple of days intervals. Nothing drastic, but I can feel it in the general sleep-requirement as well as mood. But then there's outside triggers kicking me one way or other, which isn't what BP does..

Yea, so I'm not alone in what's going on. My sleep changes with my moods also - that's how I can tell there has been a definite shift. Your last sentence helped me out a lot, with the outside triggers being the BPD part, making the ride just that much more confusing. The changes I feel happening without the outside trigger or internal dialogue most likely is the BP. And thanks for the "Stuffed squirrely headpat&chocolate-chip cookie."

Oliveira wrote:Ignore the number -- it could be bipolar NOS or bipolar Wendy doesn't matter really. It's a label for insurance companies. Personally I experience lots of depression, little (hypo)mania, looooots of rapid cycling. The number doesn't really describe that too well.

Yea, you're right, it doesn't describe it too well, because we are all different and it shows up differently. I guess I'm just anal retentive and like everything to be nice and neat and explainable - NOS doesn't seem to fit into my weird perfectionist illusion. - You mentioned that someone could say something and then 15 minutes later you could be dying about that thing - I totally get that and that's my BPD side, I know that for a fact. I can lose my ish because of peoples words, tones, body language, eyes, smirks, etc. etc. If I'm already in a bad mood (either in general or due to this new BP thing that seems to just randomly pick my mood) that just sends me straight into the depths of mental hell (Lanka mentioned that too). - And thanks for the hugs, hugs are great!

SpacingOut wrote:So instead, I'm able to look forward to the future where I'm away from all the misery I was born into. Instead, I'll be surrounded by new people and living somewhere better... maybe not ideal, but at least better.

I've heard about that Seroquel stuff and yea, that won't cure a personality thing if that's what's going on, but as you mentioned, who knows what's going on? Too bad they thought to dope you up to try and fix you. It sucks you had to grow up in such a tough situation, I can't say I can relate, but I can say you seem strong to still be truckin' it Your last few sentences were very positive, and that's what I quoted. I wish you luck on your journey to that higher ground. I'm trudging that same road right next to you. Trudging, seriously.

I do also disagree, though (nothing personal) that adding on BPD to BD does change a lot. In my situation, I've been diagnosed as Borderline for almost three years now and have been working my butt off to try and get better with that, but keep having these ups and downs that have gotten in the way and jack me up. So it was discovered that I have Bipolar on top of my Borderline, and it changes a lot. Now I'm on meds that seem to stable me out a bit and also calm down (smooth out?) some of the emotional chaotic spots of Borderline when they get triggered. I've got two time-bombs on my hands, both made with different wiring.

thejan wrote:i disagree. Note: the following presents my POV and opinion.

... Bipolar and Borderline, in their EXTREME form are different sides of the same medal (if you only take the emotions part) Borderline means you have extreme (emotional) reactions to everything you perceive or might perceive (=> environment). Bipolar means your mood is extreme while being independent from the environment.
Borderline is more "external" and Bipolar is more "internal".

I like how you dissected and analyzed all of these interesting aspect of the two disorders. At some parts I disagree with what you've typed, I didn't want to highlight all the sections I wanted to comment on (good points mostly included!). Borderline people want to control their moods/emotions also - as well as the environment. It's a protective thing, we don't want to be harmed, and when we are harmed, we don't want to feel the emotions involved. So it's external and internal. At least for me. I have an internal dialogue that makes me feel and think and act the way I do, that's my BPD. Of course, a lot has to do with external happenings, but also a lot is self-created. Delusional thinking, negative emotions due to replaying a tape of incidents in my head turning into maddening emotional turmoil. Etc. Etc. So, I agree with some of what you say about BPD, but I also disagree with some. Either way, I enjoyed looking at it how you wrote it out and it makes sense, it opened up my brain a little, so thank you. - The BP stuff, I'm still new to it all, so it was very informative. I like how you broke it down. Your brain thinks like mine in that way, I couldn't type it out as well as you did, though.

thejan wrote:

SpacingOut wrote:adding "borderline personality" to it won't really do anything

i disagree. Note: the following presents my POV and opinion.

... Bipolar and Borderline, in their EXTREME form are different sides of the same medal (if you only take the emotions part) Borderline means you have extreme (emotional) reactions to everything you perceive or might perceive (=> environment). Bipolar means your mood is extreme while being independent from the environment.
Borderline is more "external" and Bipolar is more "internal".
.

Hi, just wanted to thank you for your post - I found it very interesting to read.

I think everyone has a different mix, and that its obviously far more complicated than what you describe (as you know). For me: when I experience depression, I'm far more susceptible to having borderline traits. When I'm stable or high, I'm generally unlikely to have them either, although I suppose when I'm high I do tend to see people as predominantly good, which you could call splitting if you liked.

Its all so circular - I've been driving myself a bit nuts recently reading too much about psychology. Sometimes its good to just take a break and not try to analyse everything. One is what one is, categorising it is not always helpful, its a question of simply getting through each day at a time...

(Apologies for rambling )

darkroses wrote:I think everyone has a different mix, and that its obviously far more complicated than what you describe (as you know). For me: when I experience depression, I'm far more susceptible to having borderline traits. When I'm stable or high, I'm generally unlikely to have them either, although I suppose when I'm high I do tend to see people as predominantly good, which you could call splitting if you liked.

Hey, this is true with me as well -- haven't realised until now. When I was hypomanic in May I actually experienced almost no emotions -- I described myself as psychopathic. I just felt cold emotionally. In depression I have extreme fear of abandonment and all those other lovely symptoms.

Now, what conclusion do I take from that -- no clue...

Oliveira wrote:Hey, this is true with me as well -- haven't realised until now. When I was hypomanic in May I actually experienced almost no emotions -- I described myself as psychopathic. I just felt cold emotionally. In depression I have extreme fear of abandonment and all those other lovely symptoms.

Now, what conclusion do I take from that -- no clue...

I'd look at it from the point of view of what neurotransmitters do in the brain. Our responses to things are governed by neural networks firing in the brain. Serotonin, and other neurotransmitters affect how these networks fire; thus, in the absence of serotonin (when one is depressed) a particular network gives a different result - e.g. we think or feel a different way. I've found studying neuroscience very helpful for being more comfortable with having these disturbing / unpleasant thoughts. But its obviously different for everyone.

Interesting what you say about feeling psychopathic - I feel a bit like this when I take cocaine, which is why I never liked taking cocaine... Maybe its some kind of equivalent state to what you were experiencing.

Oliveira wrote:Ignore the number -- it could be bipolar NOS or bipolar Wendy doesn't matter really. It's a label for insurance companies.

I could rant forever about how medical diagnosis system can only spare two numbers for BP. :p

But ultimately the number doesn't matter a darn. At least the medical diagnostics is slowly leaning towards 'patient' being only one able to assess themselves; no one else can tell what's going inside your head.

when I was first diagnosed bi polar 1 it was a straight diagnosis . When I went and saw another doctor she told me she thought I had boardliner. Turns out boarderline and bi polar have alot of similar traits even though one is a chemical inbalance in the brain. Turns out I didnt have it , but if you are thinking you have both go and possibly see if they can re do a dignosis and if it comes back bi polar again at least youll know.



bipolar 1 with psychosis
225 limictol
300 seroquel XR
300 serqouel
25mg saphris

darkroses wrote:Interesting what you say about feeling psychopathic - I feel a bit like this when I take cocaine, which is why I never liked taking cocaine... Maybe its some kind of equivalent state to what you were experiencing.

Actually quite a few times when I tried to explain my hypomanias to people I said it felt like cocaine high. Including the fact that it used to be great fun, and then it stopped being great fun, and then stopped being fun at all.