I actually did it. *TW*

Many weeks ago I tried to commit suicide. Since I am sitting here typing this you can all see that I did not succeed. There is not much left for me now and I still wish I was dead, I have lost my wife and everything else looks dims. I am staying over at my folks place for right now. 43 and I feel like its all over for me.

For anyone else that was in a psy ward what was it like when you got out. How long did your thoughts about life take to straighten out?

Mark

Oh no Mark, I am so sorry to hear that.

I have only been at a mental ward for two weeks and voluntarily, so I guess it isn't comparable to your experience. I wish I stayed longer in retrospect, life continues to be tough and now I have to wait weeks rather than hours to see a pdoc.

Big hugs.

Sorry to hear that, Mark. I got out in mid-September and it really took me until January until things started to fall into place.

My heart goes out to you. I found it very tough leaving hospital too, was in for a few weeks.

Is there anything in your life that you do that makes you feel better? Do you do exercise, or do art? I know its very tough at the moment but there must have been good times in your life that you can look back on and make you realise that you're not always going to be feeling like this. Depression does run its course, you just have to give it time. Hang in there...

It's been 3 months or so that I tried to kill myself. I am here too. At first I felt fine, then a week later everything was the same as before, two weeks later I went back to the psych ward to be safe and got put on a medicine that helped me be stable. I am feeling much much better now, but am having mood swings that I just got more medicine prescribed for that. I know too well an idea of what you went through and what you are going through. Please don't be hesitant to seek help. Please.

I'm so sorry to hear about what a terrible time you're going through right now. I certainly know that feeling of utter despair at what my bipolar has made me lose in life at times.

Last year, I was in a deep depression and honestly thought I'd never get out of it. However, thanks to an excellent psychiatrist, I've been stable for more than a year. I know it doesn't feel like it at the moment, but with the correct treatment, things can and will get better and you'll come out of the other side.

I've only been hospitalised once, for three days, when in a psychotic mania overseas (but probably should have been in hospital for at least another of my manias). I'd say, provided I've had effective treatment, it's usually taken 3 to 4 months to get back to feeling stronger again following a severe episode.

Try to be kind to yourself as recovery can take some time. I hope you have some close family/friends that you can lean on for support. Take care.

To everyone who posted and wished me well, thank you. Here is an update. I still need more opinions so please keep them coming.

When I came out of the psc ward I was with my parents. I felt ashamed to have to have to do so but I was also in a defensive phase, this was just about 4-6 days ago. I thought if my wife didnt want me back, well I would save up and go back to the east coast where I am originally from....them BAMM it happened. My folks and I were watching tv and a grass seed commercial came on. It was just a commercial, but memories started flashing in front of my eyes.....8 Years all of our memories all we had done together or we through together. I went into the bathroom quickly to take a shower and BROKE DOWN. I started crying so bad. WHAT HAVE I DONE? I thought. The atempt on my own life, losing my wife and everything. Nothing makes sense. It feels like a bad dream. I have been like this since then. I couldnt stand being with my parents because of there ways of how they live. They actually had no concideration for what I just been though. I just tried to kill myself and all they could do was watch their tv set and loud too. Since I get manic certain sounds set me off. I tried to explain this, but they only made few attempts to help me. With each horrible sound od gun fire, explosions and people yelling at each other, I just got worst. I told my dad that I was feeling like I wanted to kill myself again. He that if I wanted to do that and it made me happy then I should. Another day later with another argument I left. I had my cat with me. I parked in front of my wife's house and called her at work. She took my cat of corse. In the meantime, my brother and brother invited me to stay with them. I stayed over at my wife's house overnight praying that she would stop me and see that we could work thing out. Like me she was sad but stuck to her guns.
This brings me to yesterday. I cried 397 miles to my brother's place. I am still in aufual shock. My wife however to whom I cried to last night did give me a glimmer of light. She said well, I havent divorced you yet. She is going thorough alot to with being laid off from her work ect.
So I still have my ring and now I dont plan on selling it. But a friend of mine is willing to by my motorcycle but for not much. I rather loose out on that then my ring. What if her and I get back together.
Mark