Does your bi polar make you feel lonley?

Because of my Bi-Polar disorder I feel lonely even with people all around me. I feel all out in left field. I feel like no one understands me even when I am well. I hide it well but I can't get away from this feeling. Some times because I feel "Different" I don't even want to be around my friends. I have all these deep feelings inside that people with out MI just wouldn't understand and I feel so left out. Do you ever fell this way and what do you do about it?

Maybe, but I think depression makes everyone feel lonely. I feel lonely while manic, stable, or depressed. All my friends are online, and I'd like to have a friend off the internet, to do stuff with in person. But alas, I'd rather not (does that make sense? I contradicted myself, big time), because I don't trust people. I can't be open with a lot of people about my mental health stuff, because I fear others knowing. I have a good reputation at work, and don't want to be labeled "crazy" because I have some mental health issues.

Yes. Even other people with the same illness really don't understand. They can relate but not totally understand. It is so individual for everyone. I don't even know some of it, I can hardly expect others to get it.

Yes , I dont like to be alone. I can only take so much of my own mind running. On weekends i feel so alone, I do talk to my dad , but that doesnt count to me. I need intimacy, closeness of another. To feel another human being next to me.
What do i do about it. im talking to someone i meet, but getting close , so as not to feel lonely is hard to do.

Margie123 wrote:Because of my Bi-Polar disorder I feel lonely even with people all around me. I feel all out in left field. I feel like no one understands me even when I am well. I hide it well but I can't get away from this feeling. Some times because I feel "Different" I don't even want to be around my friends. I have all these deep feelings inside that people with out MI just wouldn't understand and I feel so left out. Do you ever fell this way and what do you do about it?

Hi, I think I understand your problem very well, and my experience is also the same.

I'm gonna play devil's advocate, but what I say will make some sense, so please bear with me

I think what we need to sometimes understand is that no two people are alike ... let's say you go to a party or any gathering. You see a bunch of people ... let's say all nons, and you're the only person with a MI. You see them smiling and laughing and joking, and it makes your loneliness even more intense because you feel like they're connecting and you're not able to. Wrong ! In fact, life has taught me that appearances can be very misleading ... anything from people laughing to a "happy couple holding hands or kissing".

My point is that you are not as different from the rest of the people as you may perceive yourself to be. Other people (esp nons, I think) love to put on appearances for the cameras or for the public eye in general, because they feel all kinds of expectations and pressures from society which we MI people don't necessarily feel.

My advice to you (and I try to do the same thing myself) is to try and find a common ground between you and another person. Build bridges ! Find something to talk about ... maybe you love kayaking and so does this other person. There you go ! And you talk for an hour about it, and it's time for him/her to leave. Get his/her email address. You've just made a friend ! So, it then turns out that, even though we may be "different" from the nons, all we need is a common ground and WE CAN MAKE FRIENDS !!!

Also, IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT YOUR MENTAL ILLNESSES. The fact is ... most people (nons) are unable to understand it because they have a different perspective on life, and may run away from you in fear. Now, maybe when you've known someone for a long time and have built so much trust that you know that that other person, even if they don't understand, will not treat you differently or run away, then you can share about your MIs. But, the point is - it is perfectly okay not to tell even your closest friends about your MIs (you're not betraying them), and it is possible to enjoy a friendship without sharing such information. In fact, who's to say your friends don't have STDs (just an example) that they're not going to tell you about ?

Bottom line: Connections start with some form of common ground - a shared interest, a compliment ("Hey, I love your tattoos !"). YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE INITIATIVE TO GO TO PEOPLE. DON'T COUNT ON THEM TO COME TO YOU. AND, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BRING YOUR MENTAL ILLNESSES INTO THE FRIENDSHIPS/RELATIONSHIPS.

I sincerely hope this helps. Please don't be shy to go up to people. Make tons of friends and don't live your life with regrets wishing you had gone up to ABC at XYZ party.

You can do it, my friend !

I never feel lonely. I have a good relationship, good connection with my family, lots of friends who are patient and understand my illness (partly because I took time to tell them about it and explain what it means). If I am not busy seeing people in 3D, I am here, on Facebook, doing some art projects, writing... So my answer is no. But I worked to get where I am. I opened to people about my illness. I explained many times. Some people didn't want to be my friends anymore, and I had to swallow the bitter pill of letting them leave. Some came closer and proved more understanding and warm than I'd possibly expect. (This is not to say you must do that and it's the only way -- it's what works for me.)

Lilodian is right on appearances by the way. I find bipolar to be liberating in some ways -- I gave up any attempts to keep appearances, I kind of go "that haircut from Vikings? sure I am going to try it! I'm bipolar and THAT EXPLAINS THINGS" And what I found is that people like me more when I don't try to adapt to the "normies". It looks like I never did a good job at pretending I was a normie.

Big hugs y'all!

I do have lots of friends and they know about my mental illness. Most of them have stuck with me through all my episodes. And I have a husband of 42 years and he is wonderful. We are very close and there is nothing I can't tell him. But I still can't help that feel my mental illness sets me apart from other people. It's been two years since my last big episode and it was devastating. I haven't got over it yet. I hurt my loved ones very much and I have a lot of remorse. My son and I have been estranged for 10 years now and I live with that heartache every day. Maybe I am feeling sorry for myself? I guess if I look around everyone has some heartache in their life and I need to just suck it up and try harder to fit in. I volunteer at the local food bank and I am active in my church. but it's a real effort to do these thing and I tend to isolate when ever I can. Maybe I should talk to my doctor about this. But thank you it's been good to get this off my chest.

I don't feel understood by most people, but my girlfriend and peer led support group help me accept the other loneliness.

Talk to your doctor. If you haven't had an episode for 2 years, I doubt that you need different medication, but maybe the doctor can recommend or refer you to a support group.

I can't talk to my mom about anything personal. But she invites me over for dinner a couple times a year and I giver her a small gift at christmas.

Life can be lonely.
We have to adjust.

Take care,

All the time!

Mainly for me it is trying to fit in with my family. I always feel like the odd one out and that they have noticed it and all my flaws. I get myself so worked up over it and it never helps, just makes it a hell of a lot worse.

As for friends, I don't have that many. They didn't disappear due to me telling them about the bipolar. For me, it is the fact that I don't want to make that effort all the time. I still do it every now and then.

I get a lot of my socializing done at work, I work in a supermarket so there are people always there. I have a good group of people I work with as well.

But I am a lonely person. I have come to terms with that and don't mind it most of the time

Yes, I often feel alone in my struggle with bipolar because I truly don't think it's something people can 'get' unless they've experienced mental illness themselves. For this reason, a few of my closest friends also happen to have a mental health condition (but not bipolar) and it's something we found out along the way. I'm really wary about who I disclose my illness to as well, because I fear the stigma and ignorance around mental illness.

I think the main reason I tend to feel lonely is that my perspective on life and life experiences just don't match with the average person's. Even when stable, I usually have an overly pessimistic, melancholy view on life and have been told I'm extremely sensitive, too serious etc. Over the years, I've learnt to mask this somewhat and can get on with people fairly well as acquaintances but have trouble getting to know them on a deeper level.

I'm very fortunate to be so close to my mum and sister, even though there's a lot about my thinking they can't understand.

As to what to do about it, Margie123, I think you've made a great start by being part of this forum. It's certainly helped me feel less alone. Perhaps if you have any face-to-face support groups for bipolar or for people with mental illnesses in your area, you could check them out? If you have access to it, I find talking therapy useful too.

I hope you find people you're able to connect with and feel the loneliness becoming less intense. Take care.