Feeling left out socially...I'm 34 for heaven's sakes!

Hello all, I visit here and post once in a while. Glad to have found this forum.
I'm 34, married with one daughter. I can't help but feel left out socially. let me explain....
I teach at a public middle school in California, and the nicest way I can describe my coworkers is "cliquish."
I try my best to always be civil and polite. I'm pretty much nice to everyone. However with my bipolar, I'm sure I have the "bitchy face" on too much without realizing it. I am also very awkward socially, just never really sure what to say when making small talk.
Last summer I was sent to a teaching conference in Las Vegas. I had one friend go with me, and the 6 other teachers from my school pretty much avoided me the whole time. They stayed at a different hotel, and none of them, not once, ever suggested "hey let's all meet up."
Well, another teacher friend of mine went to the same conference this past week. She has pictures plastered on her Facebook of all these coworkers going out for drinks, going out to dinner, and so on, in a huge group.
So, long story short, I just feel terribly left out! Like, what did I do to make people not like me? Am I too weird? Am I too shy?
This is so sad to admit, I ended up crying in the shower this morning I was so upset! Part of me says this is just stupid high school-type crap, get over it already. Another part of me really wishes I was "in the club."

That's horrible! Why are adults sometimes worse than children??

I don't have much to offer, really. But I just wanted to suggest one thing: why don't you suggest you could all meet up? Don't take this the wrong way, but sometimes we keep expecting others to make a move. Why not make one yourself? For example, I have several groups of friends. I enjoy hanging out with them, but I'm very much a loner and love being on my own. However, when I feel like seeing other people, I just call one of my friends and see if they're up to something. Sometimes they already have something planned and hadn't included me. That doesn't bother me. They know most of the time I want to stay at home. So it's on me to call them up when I feel like going out.

Do you get what I'm saying? I don't know you, but I bet you're not weird. Maybe you are a little shy, I don't know. But even if you are, try and take the initiative once or twice. Maybe you'll be surprised!

And it's perfectly fine to feel sad about it! You feel left out, nobody likes that, it's completely normal. Let yourself feel this way, you should be upset. Just try and do something about it at the same time.

I hope I wasn't too blunt! Best of luck

I had similar experiences and I would agree with invicta -- reach out yourself. There were times when people would invite me to join and I declined because I felt depressed. So they stopped inviting me and that got me more depressed. Sometimes people just don't know "which me" they are going to get so they stop asking me out -- but a cure for that proved to be explaining that sometimes I am depressed and anti-social BUT that doesn't mean I am always like that and I very much appreciate socialising with them. There's also a chance that ONE person didn't invite you, but all others wondered why you haven't showed up.

I also completely agree with invicta when they say

And it's perfectly fine to feel sad about it! You feel left out, nobody likes that, it's completely normal. Let yourself feel this way, you should be upset. Just try and do something about it at the same time.

I hope you feel better about it by now -- time to hang out with your friends Big hugs!

Thank you very much for your advice & feedback. It really would be the most logical and sensible thing to call up others myself.
Next time I will.

Being a loner myself, I can understand the paradox of feeling bad when i'm in a group and have nothing to say, and when I'm alone, still with nothing to say.

I went to my 40th highschool reunion, saw all the people I wanted to see, caught up on their news and came home in two hours. I felt sad afterwards, but awkward while I was there.

So, you are not alone. It's alright to be this way.
But people are a social animal... Our greatest chances of survival is when we stay together in families, tribes, villages, etc. You are feeling like that deep need is missing. it hurts.

Take care,

It depends on a group though.

When I still worked at my old job, the people from my department often went out for drinks. But they talked about the topics they found interesting: kids, kindergartens, illnesses of the kids, TV series they watched. As a gay man in a big town I didn't really know what to contribute. "Oh yes, so your youngest has flu, that's really sad. By the way, I did some really good drugs last night and had sex with my boyfriend until 4am so sorry if I look tired and yawn."

I find it very easy to be social now at NA meetings. We share very intimate things and we have a lot in common. Meeting other people with mental illnesses; other artists; essentially people that I share more than just common workplace with.

One last thing. That animated GIF that is my current avatar -- it's not me of course but I can look like this. It took me YEARS to realise that people were scared of me because I always looked uninviting. While in fact I was just feeling socially awkward, shy and thinking "please don't talk to me because I don't know what to answer BUT I AM LONELY PLEASE DO TALK TO ME". I have no clue if this is your problem as well but body language can also be the answer. Smile; uncross your hands; open your palms; look people in the eyes. It really makes a difference.

Hey, I'm almost 27 and I just wanted to say your not alone. I don't really have any advice on the subject but I too thought the highschool type crap would be over by now.

Maybe your like me in the sense that people are weary at first for what ever reason and you get become an outcast till people get to know you?

Anyways I just try to surround myself with people who actually do like me and try to forget about people like you describe.

It does suck and it is hard though.