I feel like people are watching me, talking about me

I am Bipolar and Borderline and I always feel paranoid. I can't leave my house with out thinking people are laughing at me or watching me. It really stops me from doing things I need to do. It's what bothers me most. I want to be able to go out with my friends and not have to leave 30 min after I got there because I can't handle how I feel. My friends don't ask me to go out any more because I either don't go or leave right after I get somewhere. I have no social life and I can't hold a job. I always think people are out to get me or plotting against me.

Paranoia is a very troubling state of mind, and like you said, it can rob you of the joy of living.
I leave things early too on occasion. If I can, I just slip away. I don't think anybody notices.

I believe that people are so busy working on their own stuff that they have little time to observe and criticize someone else. Then there are the trouble makers who thrive on gossip and lies. I've been the scapegoat for a few and it does make life difficult. But that is just a small part of my life. If I let it grow inside of me, I am overwhelmed and it contributes to depression. If I'm able to shrug it off and do the things I like they cease to be important and my quality of life improves.

I hope you are able to shut off the inner dialogue that tears you down. Most of it isn't true, and the issues that contain a grain of truth, you can work on. That is what I try to do.

Take care,

Hi,

The paranoia you're experiencing sounds awful and as if it's really holding you back. I can definitely relate to paranoid thinking from when I've been (hypo)manic. I'd feel as if everyone's eyes were on me and as the mood episode escalated and got higher, it was usually accompanied by more severe delusions, such as believing I was under surveillance from hidden cameras, or that someone was watching me when I was alone in my bedroom etc.

I don't know if mood instability is at the root of yours, but it's probably a good idea to get an appointment with a psychiatrist to discuss how you're feeling. Perhaps a medication change might help you?

Alternatively, talking over your worries with someone close to you or a therapist, if you have access to one, could help you tackle the thoughts and gradually make some changes as to how the paranoia affects you on a practical basis as well.

I hope you find a way out of feeling like this very soon. Take care.

Hi oddone,
I feel your pain. I have terrible social anxiety and shyness, and I often feel like people are talking about me behind my back, whether or not it's true. I think the previous post helps...most people are too busy with their own stuff.

Thank you for your replies, I have been off my meds for months and months and I need to find a new doctor for sure. I was going to a gov run place but I hated going there. I had a great therapist a few years ago and I'm trying to get back in with her and see if she can refer me to another MD. I don't have insurance or a job but I have a Disability and rehabilitative councilor who helps me a lot. I have a hard time opening up to doctors also because I am paranoid. I don't trust most the doctors I have seen and I know its in my head but feel like even they are out to get me. I need to face my fears at least enough to get into the doctors office and get help.