help living with someone with bi poler

Greetings all .

I need some help or advice on living with someone with panic disorder and whom is also very bi poler. Growing up ive always had to be the strong one of my family because my mother thought she raised us, wasnt really there. Shes always been too far caught up in herself and her fears that everything was always about her. Reciently ive had to move back in with her and its been very hard. Constant arguing and tension. It seems when i am around it enables her from having to do anything. And because i'm the oldest child i end up doing it to keep the peace and to prevent tensions. Anyways what do you do when everything you say to a person is taken the wrong way and they think everyone is the enemy and out to get them? Reciently her marrage of 12 yrs failed because of this youngest daughter (10 yrs old) is effected greatly and is caught in a custady battle. She seems to be addicted to the poor me syndrome also might be loosing her house and her youngest child in the process. There is alot of bitterness there to the point of pushing everyone around her away. Its very hard because she is my mother to completly walk away but its coming to a point where i'm now the enemy and cant do anything right in her eyes. How do you get through to someone who only sees things as they see them and has to always be right? Anything anyone trys to tell her she cuts them off unless it has to do with her otherwise she doesnt seem to care. Night and day all she does is set on her computer to hide from reality and puts everything including her daughter on hold or makes someone else deal with her responsibilities. She seems to be very stuck in the poor me syndrome and refuses to do anything to get out of it or realize most of what happends to her is brought on her own self. Someone else is always to blame. When anyone does try to pollitely help her out in a constructive manner all she does is points the finger back and doesnt listen to anything said. Basicly all she seems to want is someone to do everything including the simpelist of tasks for her and if you refuse to or question why she cant do it you get screamd at and minupulated till you do it. I try to help out as much as i can and work my job full time as well. I'm the only one in the house working. Its so hard to not feel resentment. Ive lost jobs and relationships because of her. I dont know what to do but its becomeing very bad in all aspects. She has been in a psych ward twice in the past and sees a psychiatrist once a month but i do not see where it is helping her any. I'm planning on leaving to go to England soon for a month and she feels very threatend by my doing or going anywhere to the point where she treatend to do very vendictive things to ruin stuff for me if i dont comply with her. However when i am here it seems to enable her all the more. Please if anyone has any advice or knows other alternitves to help with this i'd be so greatful. Thanx