Lamictal making me worse

Within a month of starting Lamictal I overdosed and was hospitalized. I had a month of stability and I told my p-doc all was well. Then I've been manic for about a month, to the point where it's gotten really dangerous. I've had thoughts of jumping off bridges to live with the fish forever, and getting hit by a truck because that's how I become God. I can't go back to the hospital because I'm on my mom's health insurance and she won't let me go back due to finances. I told my p-doc all this, AND HE INCREASED MY LAMICTAL! He thinks that it's just the illness getting worse and I need to be on a higher dose. I thought lamictal was more so for bipolar depression. I'm also on abilify (that my p-doc won't touch now), but I'm only on 2mg of it so it's basically just there to make me nauseous. I don't know what to do. I can't go back to the hospital (and I've already been there four times, so it clearly doesn't help much), but I can't jump in traffic or off bridges.

Hi,

It must be very frightening experiencing those kind of thoughts, and to me the unusual content and impulsive nature of them reminds me of how I experience the psychosis that can accompany mania. For example, I once tried to scramble out of a top floor window and wanted to jump out of it when manic, until I was thankfully stopped. (That was before I was on medication, and the feeling of slipping so out of control before that point was terrifying).

You recognise that you've been in a manic episode for some time, and that the Lamictal isn't treating it. I've never been on Lamictal, but I agree that, from what I've read it seems to be a mood stabiliser which acts more against depression.

Your safety comes first, but if hospitalisation isn't an option financially, then I'd suggest getting an urgent appointment with your p-doc, or even better with a second opinion if your current p-doc isn't listening to you. My mania has always been successfully treated with an antipsychotic such as Olanzapine or Risperidone, and these tend to start working extremely quickly, within a matter of days.

In the meantime, keep yourself safe and around other people as much as you're able, in case you're tempted to act out on the dangerous thoughts. I hope this helps and you get some treatment as soon as possible. Take care.

pemigewasset wrote: I thought lamictal was more so for bipolar depression.

I have heard and read this same thing from other people with bipolar and on websites, but unfortunately it was the first med my pdoc tried on me when I was first diagnosed, in a manic state.
I started on Dec. 1 and was hospitalized on Dec. 5th, and kept in a Behavioral Health facility for 14 days. It was awful! At 30 Days I finally quit taking it completely.
Is there any way you can see another doc for a second opinion? If not, is there someone who can advocate for you? A close friend/family member? Someone that can call your doc back again, with you in the room, and help express these concerns and firmly ask for more help!!! Don't give up on yourself, keep calling until you get someone who really listens!!!