Pity party, it's my party but all are welcome

I am having a rough couple of days and I am hurting very badly tonight. The kicker is I have no one to tell, worse yet I cannot even show it. So, if anyone is listening...my heart is heavy and feels constricted. I was surprised as I walked away and my eyes teared up, I stopped the tears knowing they were of no use to me. I put on my happy face and went home to the kids. I really have no one I can tell except my therapist but I don't see her for a week. No friends, no family, no companion. Thanks for coming to my pity party!
The tears may win out after all.

Is there a codependency forum around here? I looked but can't find one. Thanks.

I think I can relate to what you're saying... as a single mom of three I have spent a lot of time stuffing my feelings, putting on a happy face for the kids and then falling apart after they go to bed.
It's so hard when we're in that dark hopeless place and have no desire for... anything.
I'm so sorry you're struggling, that is how I felt 2 weeks ago when I started coming here. But I have really learned a lot and felt a lot of support by being on this forum.
My tears always win... crying is the only thing I'm really, really good at, lol! I try to honor the need to cry when I feel that sensation welling up in me, resisting only makes me get more wound up.
Hang in there...!

Rather unfortunate. Stay strong and keep holding on, you will make it through

. If you click on the personality disorder section, click on histrionic folder, you should find the dependent personality forum

Take care

I don't have kids, so I can't really relate to that. But I certainly do know what it's like putting on my happy face when I'm dying inside. I'm sorry you're feeling like this, Wretched!

There's not a lot I can say, but please hang in there! I'm not sure, but I think I remember you saying your kids were adults. Please correct me if I'm mistaken. Is there any way you could consider opening up a bit to them? You don't have to go into detail, just something like "I'm not feeling my best today". That could be their cue to try and lighten your load a bit. It's just a suggestion!

Stay strong! And let the tears flow if it helps, there's no shame in that!
Hugs

Thanks for the replies. My kids are range in age from 5 to teenagers. Sometimes I try to explain I don't feel and I need a little space but that's it and that doesn't always cut it. I'm glad they're there though they don't need to know what's wrong to help me out sometimes. I am a bit confused and frustrated but so far it's better than yesterday.

Thanks for the directions to what I was looking for.

Love moves out and hate moves in.

Ooops, sorry! I must have mixed up your kids' ages with someone else's. But yeah, I can see how it's different than if they were adults. Still, I'm sure there are a couple of things you can say. Like you said, just saying you need a little space could let them know things aren't going as smoothly as you'd like.

I know it's a different situation, but I remember being a kid and realising some days my mom seemed a bit unwell (she has MS). Although I didn't fully understand what it meant, I knew I should give her a break. I remember trying to do something for her, like bring her a cup of coffee or something. Small stuff, but still. Kids know more than we realise sometimes, and they are capable of the sweetest gestures.

I'm very happy to hear it's better today. One little step at a time! Keep it up, keep talking. And if at all possible, let go of the hate. At least some of it. It's consuming. Easier said than done, how I know that! I hope you're better at it than me...
Hugs

I use to take wine or beer to a party.
Now I take chocolates.
Buy yourself some chocolates.
It works for me.

I'd rather the wine or beer :/