Bipolar Teacher?

Hi,

Just wondering if there's anybody out there who has bipolar I or II and is a teacher and what their experiences have been? I have some concerns about whether to pursue it as a full-time career.

I've been a teacher of English as a foreign language for about ten years, but to adults, and usually only part time. I've usually engaged in creative pursuits or studies during the other part of my time. It has sometimes been a struggle for me to teach, and I've had to take time off when things get too much. The nature of the industry means that it's been easy for me to leave a job (or a country) when I've had mood switches and find relationships or the work difficult to manage.

I only got diagnosed about a year and a half ago when I had a really bad depressive episode and couldn't work/study for about two months. I've been back teaching full time for about four months but over the last month I've really struggled and have finally reached the point where my depression fatigue meant I had to ask for a couple of days off (I don't take meds, had a terrible experience with lithium and valproate and just decided to stay off and try to manage in other ways - I don't drink much, exercise regularly, eat healthily ).

My worry is that next year I'm starting a paid secondary school training position, teaching two new subjects, and that I'll be expected to work 50-60 hours a week in a potentially more stressful environment -I'll have to deal with classes double the size I'm used to, and there's a lot more potential for conflictual relationships with teens (although when I'm well I really enjoy working with young people and have a good relationship with them). I have to submit a medical declaration form and see an Occupational Therapist before they'll okay me for the position. I'm really worried I'm not going to be up to it, especially now that I've had this episode again. The worry has almost caused me to pull out a few times already.

Maybe I should try meds again? Or should I just be doing a different job? I do love teaching when I'm well, but it's absolute torture when I'm not.

Hi rosella1 ~ I really feel your angst after reading your words.
Also, coming from a fresh perspective and listening to your whole story, it kind of seems as if you have already answered your own question, but just haven't accepted your own answer.

rosella1 wrote:* I'll be expected to work 50-60 hours a week in a potentially more stressful environment
* I'll have to deal with classes double the size I'm used to
* there's a lot more potential for conflictual relationships with teens
* I have to submit a medical declaration form and see an Occupational Therapist before they'll okay me for the position.
* I'm really worried I'm not going to be up to it, especially now that I've had this episode again.
* The worry has almost caused me to pull out a few times already.

Maybe I should try meds again? Or should I just be doing a different job? I do love teaching when I'm well, but it's absolute torture when I'm not.

When you look at your own words in bullet point form instead of a paragraph, it starts to look like a "cons" list. I'm not sure any pros are going to out-weigh this list of cons.

I too, am med free after a terrible experience with meds, but have found quickly that we are a very rare breed, almost everyone here gives advice based on being medicated or getting medicated.

I think you know in your heart that taking this job is a recipe for disaster. Even medicated, that amount of stress and long hours would most likely send anybody with bipolar into a complete breakdown. And that's not the time to be experimenting with new meds; just to stabilize enough to stay in a job that causes you to be so unstable you need meds? Getting on new meds for bipolar is a roller coaster ride within a roller coaster ride at any time; with a new job is not a good time for that experiment (especially having already had bad experience).

Most people with bipolar say they start managing their disorder better when they start managing their lives differently... like NOT putting themselves in positions of great stress or change or other strong triggers. I was able to earn a living with a stay at home job for 8 years, because nobody could fire me if I was on the couch for 3 months at a time... that lifestyle worked for me. But after those 8 years I just had a major breakdown anyway. My symptoms and what I can tolerate has changed now and I'm finding a new level of what's tolerable for me now, and it's a lot less. I say this because my last breakdown sent me into a mixed episode, whereas mine had always been pure manic or depressed before, and this is a freaking nightmare I would not wish on anybody. Please, please, take care of yourself and do what has worked for you in the past. You truly are your own best judge of what you can handle, but it was so smart to come here to get some perspective!

I don't see any problem at all with you being a teacher. I think there are many other types of positions you could find that may not be so demanding and potentially debilitating. What would be worse, to not take this job? or to take it and potentially have your entire life fall apart, maybe even end up hospitalized? losing the job? causing others who care for you to be worried? I don't mean to sound negative, I just really heard your own concern in your own words.

Best of luck, and keep us updated!

Thanks for the reply crackerjack and for sharing your story. It's good to get an outside perspective. As you say, it does kind of read like a cons list, doesn't it!

I suppose I'm in doubts partly because I sometimes find it hard to accept that I really do have a disabling disorder and I try to convince myself that next time I'll be stronger and I'll stay in control of the mood swings. Most of the time I manage - but every now and then, I really don't. Before the fatigue stage hit in the most recent episode, I think I was in a mixed state - very wired, not able to sleep properly, quite irritable - sometimes even just feeling furious. It wasn't very pleasant!
Friends and family have been telling me to go for the position, to at least try, but then, as you say, no one knows better than we do ourselves how much we can handle!

Hi Roseella,

Know that you are not alone! I am in a similar situation where I have a great opportunity ahead of me but may not be able to follow through due to my disabling condition.I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder a little over 10 years ago. I have been receiving SSI for about 8 years. I am a driven 4.0 college student. I will graduate spring 2015 with a BA in psychology (which I have been working on since 2011 when I transferred from a two year). The last few years of my life have been quite a struggle. I had a full blown manic episode in fall of 2011, and short hospitalization in Spring 12’after a suicide attempt. I experienced another episode in 2013 complete with severe psychosis in which I was nearly arrested (HIGHLY UNLIKE ME), and ended up spending 53 days in the hospital. Following that was the most terrible depression I have ever experienced that last nearly five months. Recently I was hospitalized again in May and managed to recover quickly and maintain my GPA.

Currently I have been accepted into a prestigious program that helps low income, highly motivated and academically successful first generation students gain acceptance in PhD programs. Sounds great, right? As it stands I will not have enough research experience to get accepted into a fully funded program right away and will have to complete a master’s degree first. Master’s degrees are not funded and to help pay, schools require students to do an assistance-ship. Here is my problem---I have experienced mania with psychosis four years in a row and there is a great possibility that I may again, yet I am highly driven and would like to continue my education. If I work toward a graduate degree I will lose SSI and medical. Therefore if I get sick I will not only loose school funding (more than likely ending up homeless as well) but I will not be able to pay medical bills. I don’t know what to do and really could appreciate any and all advice.

Also, I agree that medication is simply not enough when it comes to added stress and demands (at least from my experience). On one hand it seems that it is worth attempting and you may be able to develop strategies to help you cope with the change of schedule and on the other it is good to bear in mind that you may have some limitations. I am inclined to encourage you to pursue your goal (if you have insight). If you lack insight when ill and potentially may do something haphazard then it may be best not to work with children.

There is no knowing how you will do just yet. You may do really well. In the event that you experience severe symptoms requiring withdrawl, (and it wont devastate your career) then I say go for it.

sweetleece wrote: Here is my problem---I have experienced mania with psychosis four years in a row and there is a great possibility that I may again, yet I am highly driven and would like to continue my education. If I work toward a graduate degree I will lose SSI and medical. Therefore if I get sick I will not only loose school funding (more than likely ending up homeless as well) but I will not be able to pay medical bills. I don’t know what to do and really could appreciate any and all advice.

These are a topics I've been thinking about a lot lately... the career vs. SSI question... the stability vs. advancement question...
1) We've all heard the story of the person who finally gets on meds, finally stabilizes, then stops taking their meds because they don't "need" them anymore. The point is, they were stable only BECAUSE they were on their meds.
2) By the same token, if you're at a point of stability in your life... WHY on earth would you change the "prescription?" That's like saying, "Ok, great, I'm stable now; I'll quit taking my mood stabilzer, antipsychotic, and lithium, and take aspirin, midol and cough drop every day instead."

From my perspective, it reads like this:
"If I follow my social ambitions, I will lose my SSI, medical, school funding, and home and possibly my life (as I will be unable to pay medical bills or for medication) WHEN I I have mania with psychosis, as I have experienced the past four years in a row."

In the long run, what's really more important? The size of the paycheck? The social standing/status? A sense of satisfaction?

Or creating a life that is uncomplicated, as "peaceful as possible," maybe even a little bit "zen" in our own way?

It was REALLY hard for me to choose the latter, having been so success-driven so many years of my life, and the transition has not come over night, but have finally embraced the "Portlandia" approach to life. In the pilot episode, they described it as "a place where people are content to be unambitious, sleep 'til 11:00 and hang out with friends... they have no occupations whatsoever, maybe working a couple hours a week at a coffee shop... a place where people go to retire in their 20's!"

I think it's brilliant. I'm adopting that general mentality, with a few personal twists of my own. I've publicly announced retirement from my home-based business (that I loved) and am applying for SSI. And filing bankruptcy (finally). And allowing my ex to have custody of the kids for 1st time ever. All things I truly thought I would NEVER do. And... we're downsizing to a smaller place, and taking advantage of the timing to go ahead and move to an entirely new location (which should be a MUCH less stressful environment for me). It just sounds like a better way to live with Bipolar, to me. Maybe even a tropical beach location would do the trick...!

Perhaps there is some way you could design a harmonious blend of a "healthy, safe, environment," with some rewarding/enriching endeavors you haven't even thought of yet! What else makes you happy/content? What else do you like to do?