Mixed Episode vs. "pure" episode

I just made a major discovery. I was only recently diagnosed Bipolar 1 about 8 months ago, and this whole time I've been totally baffled trying to figure which state I'm in at any given time (I stopped taking all meds 5 months ago) because it's always been so "mixed up" for me...
Um... hello ~ I am totally in a Mixed Episode (a.k.a. Dysphoric Mania).
This is how I figured it out: first I realized I must be predominantly manic, for the sheer fact that I'm getting so little sleep and my appetite is so low... even though I was still having a lot of depressive-type symptoms also. Then I stumbled upon a description of Mixed that said "Typical examples include tearfulness during a manic episode or racing thoughts during a depressive episode" (and lot's of other info) and I realized, OMG, that is totally ME. No wonder I've been so confused about what state I'm in... I'm pretty sure I've been in this mixed episode since I quit taking meds 5 months ago. I can't believe my therapist or pdoc didn't help me discern this!
Oddly enough, it actually feels like a relief to me to have figured this out, regardless of the fact that the article also said "Mixed manic episodes can last from days to weeks or sometimes months, if untreated. Mixed episodes may recur and recovery can be slower than during episodes of "pure" bipolar depression or "pure" mania or hypomania." Does anyone agree/disagree?
Does anybody have experience with or input about mixed episodes vs. "pure" episodes?

crackerjack wrote:"Mixed manic episodes can last from days to weeks or sometimes months, if untreated. Mixed episodes may recur and recovery can be slower than during episodes of "pure" bipolar depression or "pure" mania or hypomania." Does anyone agree/disagree?
Does anybody have experience with or input about mixed episodes vs. "pure" episodes?

For me, a mixed episode is the worst. Not only do I feel like I want to kill myself, but I have TONS of energy to follow through and my brain is all over the place. My thoughts go crazy fast, it's not a fun thing like regular hypo/mania. It's "I feel horrible but everything is spinning" type of feeling. I also get very aggressive.

I'm not sure if they last longer than pure episodes. I know my depressive episodes usually last the longest, though if I think back to my last mixed episode it was like 3 months in and out of the hospital before I was well again which is also a good chunk of time. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful here.

I have always experienced a mixed mania, and cycled from depression to mania many times throughout a day. This is a sample day from a manic mixed state:
- Wake up, the thought of all the work I have to do (shower, find clothing, brush teeth) is overwhelming and so I stay I bed. Nobody cares that this is day 4 of not cleaning myself. In bed, it doesn't matter.
- ruminating about all the stuff I need to do. Surely I can find enough energy to do the dishes and get to the store...
- get up, do a busman's bath with wet wipes, run the toothbrush over my teeth, and get dressed.
- drive to the store, my energy starts to grow, and I tailgate, swerve, change lanes. Everybody is too slow and in my way.
- at the store, discover items not correctly priced, get angry about people being paid and not doing jobs correctly, lie down on the floor and bawl in frustration
- bring there incorrect pricing issue to the register and demand to speak with a manager. Have an intense argument and finally let it go.
- berate the manager for not doing their job as well as those she/he supervises
- spend a lot of money on things I absolutely must have, yet I don't really need. Spending $ I don't have.
- drive home aggressively, fast, way above the speed limit because I'm a FABULOUS driver
- at home, feel safe and suddenly really tired and unmotivated. Leave bags from purchases in a pile along with piles from other days.
- sleep awhile
- awaken to a mad need to clean the house. Everything needs a spring cleaning. Do it.
- there's a knock on the door. Hide, don't answer it. They could be out to get me.
- go for a walk along the river. Peaceful, except for those vacant houses where they could be spying on me, or using them as a place for a serial killer to do his/her work. They are watching me to take me and kill me too, I'm sure.
- get home safely...was someone following me?...sit on couch and cry for a long time
- go online to do something, but get angry at the laptop - why don't computers work for me anymore? Why are incompetent people allowed to maintain websites? Throw laptop through a window.
- decide I need to get laid, so actually shower and clean up, go out to a bar, drink, and pick someone up.
- have sex with this person then hope to never see them again. I don't care anything about them, they've filled my need.
- go home and watch TV until 3am when I might finally try to sleep
- wake up at 6am, feeling unable to get out of bed.
- the cycle repeats.

I'm sure I'll print this and take it to my Pdoc;)

Hope this helps you understand a mixed state. There are more details I'm sure I've left out, and there's more rapid cycling between up and down than I included, but that's a good sample day for me. I believe a mixed state will vary from person to person. I just hope it helps you decide if you're in a mixed state or not. Good luck!

Caribee4me, thanks! I didn't reply the first time I saw this thread because I just don't know what a mixed episode is. Now I've read your description and can relate to a lot of what you say. It made things clearer for me, thanks a lot for that.

Omg, can I just say, It's so nice to find a place where i fit in! There are no bipolar support groups or anything where I live, so it's nice to find somebody that can relate!
Idk how to do that quote thing yet but Cheze2 ~ omg, me too!
Also Caribee4me ~ um, like quote the whole thing... i was laughing and crying like a maniac the whole time reading your day because so much of it SO ACCURATELY mirrors mine!!! Day 4 not showered, ruminating, revving up, bawling, going agro, sure the neighbor is peering through the blinds, walk down the lane beside the stream... only I don't make it out of the house much anymore (which I never realized may be a good thing in some ways). I end up a lot of the time in this state where I feel like my whole body and brain is buzzing with this intense energy to do something but I'm paralyzed to move, like a deer in the headlights or something... I call it 'manic paralysis' or 'manic coma'... I have to make up my own names for these things, lol.