Not better...numb

It is coming close to a year that I have been dealing with my recent bout of depression. I have heard often that it will get better. As my depression lessens I am finding that it does not get better, at least not for me. I am finding though that I am becoming callous and numb and that is how I get through.

Hey, Wretched! I'm sorry things are still bad for you.

Maybe this callousness and numbness are an indication that things are starting to improve? I don't want to give false hope, but maybe? Maybe the depression is lessening, but it's still there, so you feel like this?

I hope this is the case, and you'll be feeling more stable soon. I'll keep you in my thoughts. You are getting by, you've made it really far, and you should be proud of your resilience. It takes a lot to handle all this, and you've been doing it!

Hugs

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear you're still going through such a difficult time and suffering so much. My last episode, which ended in March '13, was a horrible depressive one, and it's still painful for me to remember how much desperation and despair I felt when in the midst of that. You're certainly not alone, and with the right help, can come out the other side, as hard as that may be to believe right now.

You say your depression is lessening, so there must have been some changes for you to realise that. However small they may seem, it's worth trying to hold on to them, as that's the evidence that things are gradually altering.

When I was at my lowest, people around me, such as family members, could tell I was getting better long before I could myself. It may be the case that your depression is in fact starting to lift, but you just can't feel it yourself.

As invicta says, you're showing enormous strength to endure this long depression and make progress. I hope you have access to a good psychiatrist, and that with the right meds and some more time, you'll get the relief you deserve. Hang in there and take care of yourself x

It's so difficult to figure out how to have new emotions and live life when coming up from a long, deep depression. All of that time spent living a depressed life makes it so much what we know. I think it's a shock to the system when the emotions start firing again. I'm thinking feeling numb and callous might help keep you in a familiar emotional state. Figuring out how to engage in life again, and what that will look like is a really big challenge. I'm hoping you're recognizing at least a few positive emotions that indicate your depression is lifting. Take your time and be gentle with yourself, get some good meds if you don't have anyone, and get into some therapy, and hopefully things will continue to improve, however slowly.

It has been a while since I was callous and numb, but I still remember how pointless life felt.
It is possible to slide into depression, and then with the help of a psychiatrist or therapist, come out the other side.

Never give up!
That is all I can say,
Never give up.