Traumas...

Well, I created this topic because I believe that many of us have some traumas and a lot of things that we would like to forget and just let it go.

"You will find it necessary to let things go simply for the reason that they are heavy." (C. Joybell C.)

I used to self-harm and now I have trauma of getting into a surgery, the thing I loved the most... I loved this art of medicine and now I'm afraid of cutting tissues even though knowing that I'm saving lives. I just feel so horrible...Wish I could just forget and be in peace with myself...

Hey there, and welcome to the forum!

I don't really have any traumas or stuff I'd like to forget (well, except for the bipolar part, I'd gladly forget about that!). I just wanted to reply to your particular problem here.

It seems you really love the surgery part of your training. Have you ever considered seeing a therapist for these issues you have with the self harm? From what you're saying (and please correct me if I'm wrong), seeing and working with the surgery triggers memories of self-harm, and maybe even intention of self-harm. It's probably the association your mind instantly makes between the two things. Behavioural psychology is very useful for stuff like this. I'd say the same principles that work for phobias could work here - it's all about breaking the link between the stimulus and the negative outcome.

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, I'm not trying to tell you what to do or anything. Just thought you'd like to know. It has very high success rates, although it needs some time to work. It won't make you forget, but it'll probably help you deal with it.

In any case, I hope you can overcome that and be happy and successful as a vet!

Thank you so much invicta.

I thought about it, although the last time I went into psychotherapy it wasn't very successful and I became more depressed than ever. But I think I can try other professionals to help me.
Yes, you are right... my mind is constantly associating both things and it really haunts me, but I don't want to give up on my dream because of this...

I'll try... Thanks for your help

I too can relate.

I got in a motorcycle wreak and got messed up bad. Couple weeks in the hospital. That was 2 years ago and still dealing with brain injury things.

As a emergency services worker, when we run motorcycle wreak I almost completely shut down. Everyone knows and works around it, but it still is a issue and I feel like crap after running them.

I can relate to linking doing surgery to self harm. I was an anaesthetist but that also involved procedures and blades at times and I used to self harm and the doing procedures made me think of self harm - esp the blades bit. plus when in theatre watching the surgeons it reminded me of self harm. So I get you there.

I too have trauma - but i have worked through it and there is hope of doing that. I never thought I would be where I am now in terms of how I feel about my trauma - I would not say I was OK with it but I have moved forward from it for sure.

Anyhow hope this finds you doing OK

Hugs

Cracked

Trauma memories can be such a destructive force in our lives, keeping us from living fully as we react negatively to what is going on around us. Our fears can be totally irrational and out of proportion to stimulus, but that does't stop us. We become crippled by the memories.

I'm sorry to hear you are reacting strongly to being in surgery.
I see two choices:
1) Explore your options for therapy to help you manage and live with your extreme feelings.
All therapy is not the same. Discuss the alternative types of therapy available to you with a psychiatrist or your doctor, and choose one designed to help you get past your trauma. A therapy for those who suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) might be effective for you.

2) Think about changing career paths so that you have no need to see surgeries. I would only try this after other alternatives have failed.

Take care,

I would try therapy first, before giving up your dr