Am I or Am I not?

I fear that I might be bipolar. But the thing about me is that I worry too much.. I have self diagnosed myself with countless illnesses.
I broke up with my gf pretty soon and since than i have been pretty sad half of the day and pretty up the other half. The problem is that there are like 5,6 episodes of " mania" and " depression".
Now when I think about my past behavior , I do get pretty excited and impulsive about things and I am pretty adventures natuarlly, but I also can think of some pretty damn low lows. What dosent match up is that even when im "deppressed'', i might hate life when I am alone, if a buddy calls me and wants to meet i get pretty elevated once again. And even if I am low, im still open to new experiances and easy to exccite.
When im in my highs, I do tend to do more stuff rather when Im down ,but nothing too extrime. I have a lot of ideas and I feel more ambitios and stuff, but again, nothing extreme.
I also tend to get my "highs " (dont wanna call them mania periods yet, lol ) a lot of the time when I am with friends. Then they last sometimes the whole day, when I am alone ups and down rotate like a rollercoaster, but a lot of the time I am pretty natural too.
Does this sound bipolar to you? I need objective opinion

Hi slanger,

It must be difficult coping with knowing that something isn't 'right' with your moods, but not knowing whether this is actually bipolar disorder, a different illness or another issue entirely. Clearly, no one on this forum is able to diagnose you, and the best thing for you to do would be to get a referral to a psychiatrist. Only through discussing the problems you've been having with them will you be able to have an expert opinion and truly move closer to a diagnosis, if necessary.

From what you describe, however, it seems to me as if there may be some kind of mood disturbance going on- and this can often be triggered by stress, like a relationship breaking down.

I can see the excessive worrying you describe as being a possible symptom of bipolar, as anxiety is one of my main symptoms. Some people with bipolar only get what is called 'hypomania' (a less extreme 'high' than mania), so you could be experiencing this. When I'm in a mixed episode, my mood can often change from depressed to hypomanic every few days or even as quickly as within the same day.

Personally, I can't really relate to my mood switching simply by being around others when in an episode, as external factors don't seem to do much to alter my state of mind when I'm not well.
This doesn't necessarily mean that you don't have bipolar though- it's just not my experience.

I hope you manage to get an appointment with a psychiatrist soon, as, like I said, that's the only way to arrive at any diagnosis. While there are always unusually 'high' and 'low' moods involved, people with bipolar all experience their symptoms in a unique way. In the meantime, perhaps you could keep a mood diary to track the changes and show to your doctor?

Good luck with getting some answers. Take care.

As l'ennui said, we aren't psychiatrists and can't diagnose you.

I personally would have related more to what you said if you said something to the effect of having two extremely different reactions to the exact same situation. Or if you listed several terrible things that happened to you in a short period of time and then turned around and said it was a great time or vice versa.

There are disorders out there that are more reactive to situations such as borderline. -not saying you have it...just using it as an example...

There's also cyclothymia which is kind of a subdued version of bipolar. Might have more room for the situational stuff with it... I'm not 100% sure...

The mood diary that l'ennui mentioned is a good idea.

Thanks for the replayies guys.
I will make the dairy for sure. What I observe these days is that I tend to be less sad and more meh or happy. I think its just my natural reaction to my break up. Like when I can't hold myself and write to her or if she writes to me, my mood instantly betters.
Im now pretty sure that I missdiagnosed myself. Ive always think that I have all sorts of illments.. But I cant still properly belive this. For example, today after working out, I was super positive and I felt kinda on top of the world. Nothing like mania, I didnt want to sex everybody up or spend all my money, but I sure was more talkative and positive. But then I began worring like in the back of my head, that im getting into a mania epsiode. I know that after a workout my brain releases endorphine too. Than I come home, I remembered that this day exactly a week before I was out with my gf and I was happy and I crashed again. I cant barely relate to any depression or mania symptoms. I just think that I worry to much and I get myself in those mini depressions from time to time, But i usually go out of them with proper thinking.
Ive never had abnormal emotional reactions to events. Ive always been sad when I was supoused to and happy when I was supooused to.
Oh boy, why humans have to me so damn complicated

The best advice so far is "see a doctor and get a referral to a psychiatrist".

For me, and I think many here would agree, the kind of depression I experience is absolute numbness. Everything is flat lined. A person phoning me, or receiving a letter from a friend just isn't enough to lift my spirit. I don't leave my apartment, I sleep 20 hours a day, and I waste the other 4 hours. This type of depression goes on for weeks, months, or years. It takes more than a week to slide down into this pit of dispair, and it takes more than a week to climb out.

Mania is crazy. It is much more than just being impulsive, or wreckless. I do things that I know will not help me, but I do them anyway. I act the fool.

The moods you describe don't seem to be as extreme as my moods. Not that I'm the bench mark for Bipolar disorder. Just saying... Be glad your moods are not extreme, and share your story with a psychiatrist. He or she will be able to diagnose you properly.

Take care,

See a professional and get their opinion. I hope you find a good one and receive proper help. If you are placed on medications, I wish for them to help you more than they hurt you.

Bipolar is different for everyone, which is the main reason a professional is best left to the diagnosis portion.

I don't relate to people who are not affected by stimuli or outside sources. I've been battling his illness for a long time. Having this condition is traumatizing and people will often treat you poorly, assuming you are in complete control of your actions during mania or depression. The after effects of depression and mania, leave me in a state which takes recovery time. My mood in these periods can consist of a variety of traits.

If you have this condition for long enough, you will experience many people leaving, taking advantage, judging, treating you poorly because you deserve it in their eyes. Developing an extra sensitivity to people leaving (which is borderline trait). Can be explained through many different diagnosis.

Many bipolar people have trauma in their past. Studies show is somewhere around 40%. Comobid PTSD is not uncommon and can have your moods fluctuating rapidly.

I can have a chat with a friend, seem happy, but think of ending it all the whole time I talk with them. Am I not depressed because I seem happy and make an effort to talk to them? Other times in depression, I have many people to talk to, but can not even look at them, let along talk with them.

It's nice how people enjoy talking about their symptoms here. This can be helpful to read through and see if you identify. But it doesnt make up for a professioanl diagnosis or even self reflection. We seem to share a variety of differences and some similarities. Not surprising with an illness like this.

Best of luck in making sense of your illness. Sorry about the end of your relationship. That is difficult even if you don't haves psychiatrist illness. But much more challenging of you do. My sympathies.