Has anyone here successfully given up alcohol?

darkroses wrote:Thanks for your post. Yes, you're right, a lot of it is really deciding that you have to give up, which I have done. I feel more resolve than I have done in months, so am feeling optimistic.

As to getting help, there do seem to be some social services around to help. But I can't find any real alternative to AA where I live. I'm rather against some of the principles of AA, from reading about it. I don't like the idea that you have become "powerless" to alcohol and need to give yourself up to a higher power. It seems very strange that an alternative hasn't become popular around Europe. I suppose though, that much of the meetings is down to what people you meet at them, rather than the underlying philosophy. I think I'll try to go to one this week - at the very least, it will probably be interesting.

It sounds like you have made your mind up which I think is a massive step.

Where I live there are addiction services including specialised alcohol services which help ppl without it being AA if that is something you are not keen on. It might be worth asking your local mental health trust if they have anything like this.

Cracked

darkroses wrote:As to getting help, there do seem to be some social services around to help. But I can't find any real alternative to AA where I live. I'm rather against some of the principles of AA, from reading about it. I don't like the idea that you have become "powerless" to alcohol and need to give yourself up to a higher power. It seems very strange that an alternative hasn't become popular around Europe. I suppose though, that much of the meetings is down to what people you meet at them, rather than the underlying philosophy. I think I'll try to go to one this week

Hey darkroses, I went down the path of AA when I gave up drinking. I am like you and dont agree with all the principles that you need to adhere to when doing it. I was never powerless to alcohol and I have never thought that there was a higher power that could help me (sorry to all the people reading this, if you have belief in a higher power and that helps you, I don't have a problem with that and I don't think any less of you for it, actually i think that it makes you rather interesting, i have never given myself over to anything so fully before, this doesnt mean i don't pray when times are bad, just like you wouldn't think any less of me for whatever it is I believe in. But that's a whole different story).

I only followed the guidelines that I wanted to, I didn't seek forgiveness for my past transgressions. Oh I felt guilt for them for a little while, but never did anything about it.

As for my "higher power" while in AA, this was something that I took a very hard look at. For me, my higher power was myself. I had looked at everything that I had gone through growing up. The drugs, the criminal activities, the reckless abandonment of my life, the depression, the suicide attempts and the reckless way I viewed my personal well being.

I gave up the drugs on my own, I didn't have help with it because nobody knew about it. I was alone in my life, I had used up and spit out multiple friendship groups. I found myself high on cocaine and trying to drink myself to death by myself on my 21st birthday. It was this moment that made me change my ways. I gave up every other drug that I was on, with the exception to pot (but this only went on for another 6 months until I met my now wife). I realized that I had done this alone and I started to see just how strong my own will power was.

This is why when I was forced to look for a higher power I went with myself. I had managed to do something that some people find extremely difficult even when they have all the help in the world.

What I am trying to say is this, your higher power can be anything like:
A relationship
A friend
A loved one
A hero
Yourself

Now I know what I am capable of and since then I have been reminded of that in my depression, by my wife of course, and it makes me stronger because nothing is going to last forever.

So if you do decide to attend AA just remember that you don't need to follow every rule that they have set out, just the ones that you feel that you will be able to

Hi LandorAiel. Thanks for your post. I'd decided that I would try an AA meeting, but I discovered that LifeRing have meetings in my area.

http://lifering.org/

so I'm going to give that a shot. It seems more in line with my personal beliefs - I like that its secular and based on the principles of CBT. I'll report back in this thread to say how the meeting went. The general idea seems to be that the person running the meeting says "How was your week?" and it goes around a circle with each person there describing how they dealt with sobriety, what problems they had, and people chime in and give support / advice.

Anyone here tried this? Seems really good, in principle, anyway.

That sounds a lot better than AA. Kind of wish that they had that where I live, in central Victoria, Australia. But for that I would have to go to Melbourne.

I wish you luck with it all

Yes i quit drinking. I used o self medicate beyond belief with alcohol. It was hard to quit and it took a few time before it finally got to the humiliation that i could no longer drink again. Too much pain in sufffering , on myself and many others.
if you do quit one thing to remember. You have to find a healthy way to feel good. And others will ask you if you want a drink for years till they get the hint you actually quit.. Those kind of people make it harder when they dont take you seriously.
How i quit.
for years i wouldnt talk to who chose to drink daily. family included
I stay out of Pub, havent been in one in years.
Avoided alcohol parties for years.

Now clean and sober but i now have no way to relax without Dr. prescribed meds.
Of course no social life.
I hope you can quit. Good luck, any advice just ask

I've been sort of teetering on the brink of alcohol abuse for a long while now. I haven't had a drop for a week now, and before then it didn't get to the point where I had alcohol withdrawal. But for me it's very deliberate self-medication, and I'm lacking an alternative.

Drinking gets me in touch with my emotions, and I'm having a hard time doing that without alcohol. At work I don't talk to anyone, and answer people in one word sentences. Outside work I don't socialise at all. Because it's like I've lost the ability to engage with other people. And with myself, for that matter.

It's also the only way I know how to knock myself out when I stop sleeping. A bottle of vodka will put me to bed, but fairly often, not much else will. And I'm too old to not sleep for 3-5 days at a time. It really, really screws me up.

I'm well aware that this is mostly a problem with my medication, but then... Without the medication I am kind of like chaos personified. My episodes over the years have grown steadily more extreme and rapid, and not in a "ha ha funny flaky person" kind of way. More in the "I'm deeply afraid I'll hurt someone" kind of way. So while I toy with the idea of going off the meds pretty much all day long, I'm also so $#%^ scared of what might happen that I'm not even comfortable with the idea of trying to change or adjust the meds I'm currently on, specifically the Seroquel.

And of course, I'm really, really struggling to stay off the cocaine. It's still the best 'medication' for what ails me that I've ever tried. But I've already demonstrated to myself that I'm incapable of managing my use of that poison.

LandorAiel wrote:That sounds a lot better than AA. Kind of wish that they had that where I live, in central Victoria, Australia. But for that I would have to go to Melbourne.

I wish you luck with it all

Online meetings might be an option for you.

Advice-wise, my best suggestion is find something to fill the void with. Druggies like have a term called "the chase." Basically, scrounging together the money, getting the drugs without getting caught, using them without getting caught, and so on. The chase itself is hugely addictive, and rapidly becomes life-defining. And most people need something similarly engaging to replace it with, to have any chance of giving it up.

I suppose the legality and money issues are somewhat less significant with alcoholism, but I'm guessing most alcoholics make up for that by trying very hard to deny and hide their abuse from everyone.

For me, most of the time the chase was/is harder to live without than the actual drug. I know that sounds kind of absurd, but several addicts I've talked to feel the same way, so at least it's nothing unique. Anyway, I digress. The point is, you should think long and hard about how you're going to deal with this. Because just not drinking probably isn't going to work. Because drinking in itself is only part of the problem.

Bestest luck to all of us & take ♥

Hi! I've given up alcohol and weed two and a half-ish months ago, and given up coffee a couple of weeks ago.

I've given weed just at once. One day I could take the substance in, and the next day I couldn't. *alcohol was a little tougher, it took several tries. It was about 3 months after having been diagnosed, and about the time I finally realised that I really was quite ill. I used to smoke weed, almost every day of 2013, and alcohol was for all the friends-around occasions.

It was a matter of life and death for me, that's why I just stopped. I've been suicidal for years, and for the last year, it's been getting worse and worse; after my last two mojitos, I went with a bottle in my hand to the sea, desperately addicted to the thought of drowning. I just realised that when I don't do it, I have a mind that's clearer and able to deal with all the bulls_it that I have to deal with as a crazy person.

I have declared a war on being helpless, and alcohol made me helpless, so yarr

p.s. I don't think you need to replace it with something like exercise right away... I mean, it would be great to just stop drinking and start exercising, but haha. I think what you could use to forget about alcohol is a dream. You just keep telling yourself "If I drink even a little, it would be a real damn problem for my..(becoming a president, or whatever is your real true dream)". It's like a cold shower.

I still crave it though, from time to time, during the sadness. I allow myself to do some other nasty stuff then, like waste time playing an addictive game or watch stupid videos...very nasty

LandorAiel, if you can stop drinking without AA and so to say "stay stopped" then AA actually isn't for you -- and neither is the higher power stuff. It's for people who truly ARE powerless over alcohol. So it's understandable why it doesn't work for you

I haven't managed longer than 11 days clean in a row until NA, and NA kept me clean for 14.5 months until I relapsed four days before my hospitalisation. I went and got stoned largely because I couldn't stop the racing thoughts in my head and I called my psychiatrist five times and got the "he'll call you right back" response every time and I just didn't feel like waiting anymore. And then I went and got something drinkable as well because why not. Obviously I am clean now in the hospital, and I intend to go back to NA when I am out.

Big hugs everyone -- whatever it is that you need to find, I hope you find it (as Cher sung).

Oliveira wrote:LandorAiel, if you can stop drinking without AA and so to say "stay stopped" then AA actually isn't for you -- and neither is the higher power stuff. It's for people who truly ARE powerless over alcohol. So it's understandable why it doesn't work for you

I was thinking about the "powerless over alcohol" idea earlier today.

I think that the reason that this idea is within the AA ethos is because it has the effect of making guilt manageable for alcoholics. One of the worst part of being an alcoholic is the constant sensation of guilt for the appalling things that one has done while drunk. One then drinks to deal with this guilt, leading to a cycle of self-destruction. The idea that one is "powerless over alcohol" implies that an alcoholic is not really at fault - an alcoholic has been dealing with a force beyond their control, they aren't a terrible person, they've just been been enduring a terrible affliction. And thus stopping drinking becomes to seem possible, and the guilt and self-loathing fade to be replaced by the blinding light of redemption through the "higher power". Its a very cathartic idea.

In reality, no one is truly powerless over any substance. It may be incredibly difficult not to drink alcohol but its certainly possible.

I've been reading a book called "In the realm of hungry ghosts" for the last few days

http://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghos ... 155643880X

It has some truly great insights into addiction, not just to drugs but to compulsive behaviours of all kinds. One of the best books I've ever read on any aspect of mental health. Well worth a look.

Darkroses-

I have also quit drinking. It was not a problem for me, although alcoholism runs deep in the family (father, sister just to name a couple) so I was always on the watchful side.

I did finally give it up completely once I about 18 months ago, and, for me at least, it's hard.

I didn't drink at home but I loved to have a cocktail when my husband and I went out for dinner or to have a couple of fruity-somethings on vacation.

I often say that I didn't know how much alcohol meant to me until I couldn't have it!

But I know that it was the right thing to do. Alcohol does NOT play nicely with my meds, and I need to abstain, so I do.

I say this not to bring you down, but to let you know that even if you miss it, even if you still want a drink, you CAN stay alcohol-free if you want to.

I get frustrated with the idea that so may people say "I quit, and I'd never go back!" Sorry, but for me this is BS. I could go back anytime, but I make the decision not to on a regular basis, and I'm healthier for it.

Best of luck to you.

Jennifer