Sucks right now

My depression is real bad right now and I don't want to be on this planet anymore!!!!
I haven't slept in two days and I have nothing to look forward to. I see my Pdoc on Wed but I have to lie to him so I don't go into IP because I have to watch my teenage son who hates me for 5 days at my ex wife's house while she is put of town.

It always seems that whenever I feel like this there is some reason for me to not go in like last month it was a planed vacation and now this. Last moth Pdoc even gave me a choice about going in but I didn't want to disappoint others by canceling the trip. I just have no idea on what to do anymore. I see no way out of this darkness.

Hi

I think it sounds like it is time for you to put yourself first. You cant be of use to anyone if you are not well in yourself and more importantly you deserve to be happy and have a good quality of life. I think if IP is needed it is totally fair for you to do this. please dont feel you always need to put others first. I am sorry you are having a rough time of it - I hope things improve really soon

hugs

Cracked

I agree with Cracked.

If something is making you feel bad - screw it. You're not well right now, and so responsibilities that others have invented for you because they thought you were okay with it and available are not what you need at the moment. You might not know what to do with all of it right now, but that is alright - you have a lot of stuff going on - you can just not do stuff that exhausts you for a start.