I just can't stop talking...

Seriously. No doctor will diagnose me with anything but "Mood Disorder - NOS". My thoughts are racing, and I feel like I can "handle it", despite all the signs that are indicating otherwise. If this isn't bipolar mania, I don't know what is.

If I don't talk, if I can't talk my problems out, If I can't talk to my family (the only thing I have) then I feel like I have nothing. I feel disrespected they'd rather watch TV than listen to me. I get angry at people who don't think I can fix my life. I'm afraid of a relationship because I know they'll find out my problems, because I can't stop talking about them, and then want nothing to do with me. It just happened to me once (at 24, this was the first relationship I ever had) and I'm afraid of it happening again.

I don't know if I talk less if I'm depressed, I don't feel like I get truly "depressed" a lot. But at times I wish I were, because I feel like I wouldn't be being judged as much. Unless I'm stoned (and I haven't been able to afford weed lately, so that's a problem) I just can't get myself to stop talking. When I drink I juts talk more. And when I don't talk, I get lost in my thoughts, and being verbal is almost like a coping mechanism... not allowing me to think about the things that bother me...

Is there any way I can handle this? I've tried everything, but nothing seems to stop that feeling boiling up inside me...

Have you ever tried writing your thoughts down to see if that helps? Mabye a blog or just a personal diary. Although communication is good it may stop you talking so much when some people just want to be quiet and relax and watch tv etc. As for a medical reason for it I really would not like to speculate what would cause it as I have no experience.

Hi,

This sounds distressing and what you describe with the racing thoughts, over talkativeness and anger definitely reminds me of the way I experience (hypo)mania. I wonder if you're seeing a psychiatrist at the moment, as, quite honestly, the main thing that's helped me in this case is a medication change i.e. the addition of an anti-psychotic to my mood stabiliser. That usually calms and slows everything down, along with the pressure to keep talking.

I also relate to the part about family sometimes not wanting to listen, as I have a tendency to over burden them with my problems. I'm doing CBT at the minute and find seeing a therapist really helps. Is therapy a possibility for you?

I like ash23uk's suggestion of writing to get your thoughts out... Perhaps you could also release your emotions through other forms, such as art or music? It may sound a bit clichéd, but artistic expression can be useful I find- especially when 'high' in mood.

Another thing I find helps to slow my thoughts down and 'switch off' temporarily is meditation, and I use guided meditations I find free online every day, for at least ten minutes. Physical exercise, especially cardio, may also help to tire out your body and distract your mind somewhat.

Lastly, you could try seeing if there are any face-to-face support groups in your area so you can meet people with similar struggles. I hope some of these ideas are helpful and you're feeling better soon.

L'ennui: I was taking an antipsychotic while hospitalized (after a failed suicide attempt) about a month ago, and all it did was make me really tired. I didn't like it. I just didn't feel like myself.

Ash: That is always a great idea - I am an artist myself, so I try to get my emotions out through art... yet speech is just so much easier... blah, why is it so hard...