Non-compliant with meds even when just hypomanic?

I have a terrible habit of thinking I don't need my meds, or some of them when I'm even just slightly hypo. I definitely don't take my meds reliably when manic but I would have expected myself to be med-compliant in hypomania as I'm still somewhat in control of myself... Anyone else have this problem? I feel like I don't need them although I almost always take my anti-depressant as I'm so deeply afraid of depression reoccurring, plus when I'm manic/hypo I want MORE happiness so I even tend to try to take more of the effexor. It's like I have no self-control and just want to push myself higher and higher even when I just start approaching an episode. I've gone back on the abilify which is handy because I ran out of my other meds today and I still have abilify left as I stopped taking it for a week, wanting to be high and thinking it was a fantastic idea.

I even have some prozac left over from before my last med change and have been known to mix that with the effexor which is not at all clever, I know, but it's like I lose all sense. This is probably very familiar to a lot of you when manic but I just feel like I should have more control when I'm less extreme. I know inside I love the hypomania and even some of the mania so this is probably driving me although I try to be sensible and remember everyone else might not like what I do when I'm manic, and I know I'm safer being stable, but all that seems to go out the window now and again.

It's frustrating for me when I'm feeling more sensible because I really wonder why on earth I mess around with my meds so much, and I know it reduces the amount they can help me if I don't take them regularly. How stupid is that? I know it is, and yet I can't maintain enough regular control to sort it out. I will talk to my pdoc about this when I see him in May but I'd be interested to know about your experiences with this, if you guys have any!

I'm also trying to cut down on alcohol - my plan is to allow myself one beer for example then go to non-alcoholic beverages, but again every time I go to a bar I get excited and then the mania levels start rising and I just want to drink and party all night and I end up throwing up at home with the room spinning and wondering what on earth I was thinking and being largely embarrassed about my behaviour. I've been and done this in my mid-teens and I was completely over it for quite some time but it's all started over again as if I'm an irresponsible kid again with no self-limits. I know I should probably cut alcohol out entirely and I will tell my pdoc about this but it's so hard when your friends are all drinking around you. Eurgh, I need to get over all of this rubbish.

I suck at staying med compliant. There's always some excuse I use... and it sounds great at the time...

Some good news though... There are some meds that are slow release and you just go in and get a shot once a month or so. It should help. I don't know how far along it is now but Abilify is one of those meds... (It's in the testing phase last I heard...) Then it's just a matter of keep going to the doctor... (Which I suck at too...)

Exiled. wrote:I suck at staying med compliant. There's always some excuse I use... and it sounds great at the time...

Some good news though... There are some meds that are slow release and you just go in and get a shot once a month or so. It should help. I don't know how far along it is now but Abilify is one of those meds... (It's in the testing phase last I heard...) Then it's just a matter of keep going to the doctor... (Which I suck at too...)

So glad it's not just me! I feel less alone now...

That's awesome, I had no idea about that, I shall ask my pdoc about it when I see him next Thank you for the info!

*hugs* Bear.

I'm very good so far at staying meds compliant. But at one point -- when I was constantly slightly depressed and had stomach problems due to Depakene -- I tried to lower the Depakene dosage a bit. Bad idea. I just started to cycle up and down. After 4-5 days I went back to my dosage and never tried to fiddle with it again.

I never, ever skip my antidepressant. Even one missed pill can make me suicidal for a few days. I seem to be ultra-sensitive to dosage changes as well.

My ultimate dream is to be mildly hypomanic (just more creative and needing less sleep, and maybe slightly increased libido, kthxbai) and STABLE. But so far I only found out how to get really depressed and how to start rapidly cycling. So I stick to my doctors' advice.

I too am guilty of being non compliant, and I have diabetes as a complication. Being non compliant with the depression meds were what alerted my family doc to look for bi polar. She told me that the excuses I came up with were a really big clue. I even shifted the balance of my meds to supper time, because that is more regular and less often missed.

I often call in prescriptions on time and not go to pick them up, or run out completely before making another appointment. The doc even has an after hours clinic I can go to and they can access my chart so there is no excuse other than it would be another trip out of the house and another chance to totally embarrass myself. I know that missing causes more problems, and even one dose of some have very drastic symptoms, but still I can't help myself, and it sux.

Everybody has their achilles heal.
I'm pretty good at taking my med's every day.
My weakness is feeling hypo depressed (if there is such a thing)
and just laying in bed all day, or, if I have an appointment in the morning, sleep all afternoon.

As for missing my medication, I have good results and no bad side effects, other than maybe sleeping and weight gain. But the weight gain has stabilized at 60 lbs above average weight for my sex, height and age. So there is every good reason to take the medication and no reason not to.

When I hear of the side effects some of your experience, I really can understand your temptation to miss the meds. I knew a man who, when he had a first date with a woman, would skip his Effexor for a couple days. He was pathetic. Everything was sex, sex, sex. Why not get to know the lady before you jump between the sheets?

I'm rambling here.
I think I'm afraid of returning to my old self if I didn't have my meds. That is my motivation to take it. I don't want to be depressed, angry and manic ever again.

Good luck in your current battle.
Take care,

When I was on my upswing I became non-compliant with my meds. I think it comes from that addiction to feeling 'good.' But if I look back now and see the trail of destruction (again) then I can see the results of that. It sucks. There's also the not knowing if your meds really are right for you. I guess those of us who have been medicated for a while probably have a better insight into the real effects the drugs have.
Me, I kind of have no idea.
I do have a refillable webster pack thing for my pills so that they're all there in a visual, weekly format. AM and PM pills for each day of the week. There's a real guilt that I get seeing a missed dose sitting there. For me, filling up the webster pack once a week is like half-taking the meds, because then they're sitting there in the middle of the room staring me in the face when I'm at home.
I just hope the pills in there are the right ones (and the right dose!). Right now I want to add an anti depressant but I'll have to see whether my pdoc is on board with that.
Best of luck.

I am often non-compliant with my meds for other reasons. I have been re-diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type. I was originally diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but they had to keep adding extra symptoms. It finally got to the point where they had to quit adding and instead they had to change my diagnosis. Antidepressants do not work for me. Only mood stabilizers and anti-psychotics work. I am on SSDI and I have a Medicare approved insurance plan. The newer generation of drugs with lower side effects are tier 4 or tier 5 drugs, which means I can not afford the copays. The tier 1 and 2 drugs I can afford, but they are of the older generation of drugs and I can not handle the side effects.

I have gone off my meds for as long as 18 months, until the episodes become more than I can handle. After I first started on SSDI, I had a 1 year waiting period before I got Medicare. During this time, because of my low income, I got my meds for free. I no longer qualify for free meds because I have insurance. Drug companies can't help because you have to send in your copay bills to qualify. I have no copay bills because I can not afford the copays in the first place. Insurance has been both a blessing and a curse.

I stay on my meds until I am either feeling better or until I can no longer take the side effects. It is quite the roller coaster ride...

I don't intentionally skip doses, I'm just often quite absent minded and totally forget it. Or my sleeping is such a mess I miss a dose and rather than taking 'extra' I'll just wait until next one.

Suppose it helps that I'm on only Lamictal again; why would I stop taking something that doesn't seem to have any side-effects and is preventing depression..

I'll admit I dropped Depra without asking psychiatrist, but I had a long pause after prescription renewal mess and at the time I really needed to get rid of shaky hands -side effect. Turns out it's alot easier to work on sketches when your hands can draw straight lines.